I wondered if anyone else feels the same?

August 25, 2007

Ive had this running thing with my neuro, he is trying really hard to

get me off the steriods, and I understand why, they are terrible, but

nothing else is keeping me going so I am unwilling to stop using them

untill somthin g wlse comes along that works. Recently he moved my

weekly infusion of 1/2 gram solumedrol to every three weeks to see

what woud happen. Much as I thogt it didnt work too well and I got

reall bad raelly quicly. By yesterday, I was just about unable to

move, I made it to work but by 10 am things were getting worse by the

mometn, my mind was getting fuzzy, my gait was so far off I was having

trouble walking even small distances, I was very weak trembling all

the time, vision was dark and fuzzy speak was shaky and I was biting

my tongue which already hurt repeatedly, my face was starting to droop

and I felt panicky like I do when my mind starts to go out of whack,

so Lizzy called the Neuros office and they had me in there by 11 and a

needle in my hand by 1130, by noon we were watching as the bag was

pumping steriods into me and this morning although Im still shaky and

sweating alot, my mind is clearere and I feel much better. Thank God!!!

I know the steriods are slowly destroying my body, but at least for

now I need them and dont give a damn about the consequenses!!!!!!

Maybe I regret that later, but for now………..Screw it! Am I alone,

doesnt it seem worth it to pau the price later for some king of life

now? My docs dont agree althoujg they are letting me kall the shots

for the most part, until they looes their minds and insist we try

things that nearly kill me llike this, but I dont think thy get it at

all. Lizzy I think understands why I wont quit using the steriods

until thye have this under control a whol.e lot better, but nobody

else seeems to and Im starting to feels a bit embattled., not that i

unused to fighting battles Im just a bit tireed at the momment. lol

/so I wondered what you folks thnk, since Im sure youve probably

facedd the same kinds of dilemas during your fights. Mostly out of

curoisity.

God bless, and sorry about the typing, just dont have the energy to go

back and fizs it.

Stu

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