TO Martha.......and an update

January 11, 2006

You are so right Martha. I mean how many times did I say I was gonna

beat this thing and then fall back into it again. I realized I was

making up excuses and unless I recommitted to the basics and what we

were taught...Id never get in control and would continue to gain. I

realized that by my beating myself up and promising to start all

over again....I wasnt! I was rationalizing my way back up the scale.

I recommitted to use my tool properly on Sunday Jan 7th at an all

time new high of 167(17 pounds up from my lowest of 150). I am now

at 162. Im doing my water. Limiting my DECAF coffee(splenda and

half/half)to ONLY two a day, trying to make it just one in the

morning. Im back on measuring and journalling my fofd. NO carbs,

protein and veggies only. Im exercising this week 65 minutes(4miles)

on my treadmill everyday. Next week will drop to 30-45(2-3miles)

minutes because I start back to school,except Fridays where I will

do the 65 minutes. But the most important thing Im doing is becoming

empowered. Im changing my... " I cant beat this, why is this so hard

thinking " . I am self talking to myself...I am doing this, I am

strong, I am worthy to fight for my health. On January 1, I set the

goal to get back to my 150 or less by June 7(my birthday). But with

the help of my friends, I realized I need to stop focusing on that

damn number and by my actions. My new goal is to completely be back

to my healthy eating habits. Which actually I already am. My goal

then is to stay that way.

I am way better and worth more than daily or even weekly Starbucks,

chips or any other fattening substance.

Huggles

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