I'm back

[Guest guest]

Hello everyone:

It's me Francisco. For those of you who don't know me, I had open

RNY at Kaiser Richmond on June 3, 2003. As a result, I lost 153 lbs,

and my life has been forever transformed.

Through this journey, I have parted ways with several friends, but

the new ones in my life have more than made up for the loss. I also

took some time away from this group over a controversy regarding my

sexual orientation. Let me just put it out there. I'm a gay man,

and I attempt to live my life openly and honestly. Honesty with

myself and others is a KEY aspect of my recovery from morbid

obesity. As such, I talk about dating and love in terms that are

relevant to me; I don't switch genders referring to " she/her " when I

mean " he/him. " I have always discussed these relationship issues

with respectful and sensitive language. I have deep respect for all

who belong to this group. I would hope that that same respect would

be returned to me. If not, I have no place here.

I also belong to a church that ministers to primarily gay, lesbian,

bisexual, and transgendered people, but also some straight people

too. This beloved community influences me in a deeply spiritual

way. I have found a spiritual home there where I am loved, accepted

for who I am, and soulfully nourished by a good-hearted people who

work for social justice. We provide meals for the homeless, we

partner with schools to provide materials for kids who don't always

have enough, we do a shower project for the homeless so that they can

bathe in a safe environment, get fresh clothing and toiletries, and

have access to social services. This Christmas, my church is

partnering with the Homeless Children's Network to provide gifts to

kids who have been sheltered from abusive situations. The gratitude

we experience and the connection we feel to God has called us to

action to make positive changes, however grand or slight, to make the

world a better place, even if it just one person at a time. So from

time to time, I will mention God, the Divine or a Higher Power.

However, I am respectful of all paths to spirituality, whatever they

be, even if it is no belief in a higher power at all.

There is so much loss and sorrow that surrounds this process, but the

joy I have experienced has far outweighed the sadness. I have

experience joy and beauty that I never knew existed. My soul used to

have this constant yearning, a deep hunger. Food could never fill

that void the way love has. The deepest desire of my heart, my most

passionate prayer was to have this burden of morbid obesity removed

from me. God heard my cries of desperation and took away my pain.

For that gift, I will be eternally grateful.

So I find myself, once again reflecting on my life, and I feel the

need to come home to a place that was so instrumental to my ongoing

success. I hope that you all are well. And I hope that I can feel

safe here once again.

Francisco