Re: Off Topic: Spousal involvement

[Guest guest]

Hmmm....Let me think " Spousal involvement " (LOL!)....What's

That?...Wish we had some....but Collin will be 4 this month and it

hasn't happened yet....maybe a few appoinments but thats it, I make

all decisions, etc myself, I deal with the insurance companies,

questions, deciding where to have treatment, the process, etc, how we

are going to pay for it! On top of it I work full time, etc just as

my husband does. I have come to think I work way more then full time

40+ hours a week, because I do everything else too in my opinion. I

wish I didn't have to be " super mom " but some how this role just fell

on to me, I wish my husband helped more, etc. There's my vent for the

day.

I would like to say that I really admire all of those Dad's that are

involved with the support groups here ( & the mommies too!)and off the

board too! My husband has never been to any of these groups he has no

interest what so ever (in my opinion), and maybe has glanced at our

website like once, I don't even think he looked at the whole thing!

Michele

Collin's story at http://www.geocities.com/chele323232

[Guest guest]

My husband, for the most part, has trusted me with

making the decisions involving Kelsey's care. He

feels that I am the one who has done the majority of

the research and therefore, know more about it than he

does. But, we were in complete agreement when it came

to seeking a new Doctor (Ponseti method) because we

both knew that we were getting nowhere with the

previous doctor. When major things happen, he is

always there for appointments but for the most part I

have been on my own with those. I am fortunate in

that we are close to both of our families, so often

either my MIL, FIL or my mom can go with us to

appointments. Kelsey also sees a urologist (wasn't

happy with the 1st one of those either. I now take

her to Cincinnati CHildren's for that as well) and the

same pretty much holds true there.

Jenni

--- Lori and Elijah wrote:

> I know Ive mentioned a few times about Drew being

> deployed and it

> seems to happen quite often now. It made me wonder

> how involved your

> spouses are in the babies' treatment.

>

> When Drew's home, he tried to attend the Dr appts

> but mostly he ends

> up hearing about it via a phone call on the way

> home. When he's

> deployed, I take mental notes and try to get it all

> into one email

> when I get home and we discuss everything in detail.

> Also, I would

> copy into an email anything I read on the topic and

> send to him so he

> could study up.

>

> After his first deployment last year (Elijah was 4

> months old when he

> came home) it became his job at night after baths to

> put the shoes

> back on which gave me a huge break from it and put

> some of the

> responsibility of treatment on his shoulders.

>

> Lori

> and Elijah 3.26.04 RCF atypical DBB nights only

>

>

>

>

Jenni-

Mom to (10/31/01) and Kelsey (11/7/03)happy girl in DBB nights only for

left clubfoot.

____________________________________________________

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[Guest guest]

My husband is pretty good. He goes to as many appointments as he

can, reads up on everything, and helps out with all sorts of other

things.

But, when it comes to putting the shoes on, he has yet to do it. I

think that is entirely my fault though because I just don't trust

anyone to put them on right so I end up doing it every night.

He also can't go to all of the appointments because he works with

developmentally disabled adults and can't flex his schedule at all.

I'm lucky because I can come and go as I please as long as I get my

work done.

I often wonder about this as well. is really good with

Aleksander, and really helps out tons. I think he could do more,

naturally, but at least he's trying!

> I know Ive mentioned a few times about Drew being deployed and it

> seems to happen quite often now. It made me wonder how involved

your

> spouses are in the babies' treatment.

>

> When Drew's home, he tried to attend the Dr appts but mostly he

ends

> up hearing about it via a phone call on the way home. When he's

> deployed, I take mental notes and try to get it all into one email

> when I get home and we discuss everything in detail. Also, I would

> copy into an email anything I read on the topic and send to him so

he

> could study up.

>

> After his first deployment last year (Elijah was 4 months old when

he

> came home) it became his job at night after baths to put the shoes

> back on which gave me a huge break from it and put some of the

> responsibility of treatment on his shoulders.

>

> Lori

> and Elijah 3.26.04 RCF atypical DBB nights only

[Guest guest]

I can totally relate to having to take care of scheduling, dealing

with insurance and figuring out how to pay for things! I even have

to do that for my husband.

When I bug him about it, he says that he just knows that I can do it

better and that's why he stays out of it. Nice try! I see right

through that not-so-subtle attempt at manipulation!

> Hmmm....Let me think " Spousal involvement " (LOL!)....What's

> That?...Wish we had some....but Collin will be 4 this month and it

> hasn't happened yet....maybe a few appoinments but thats it, I make

> all decisions, etc myself, I deal with the insurance companies,

> questions, deciding where to have treatment, the process, etc, how

we

> are going to pay for it! On top of it I work full time, etc just

as

> my husband does. I have come to think I work way more then full

time

> 40+ hours a week, because I do everything else too in my opinion.

I

> wish I didn't have to be " super mom " but some how this role just

fell

> on to me, I wish my husband helped more, etc. There's my vent for

the

> day.

>

> I would like to say that I really admire all of those Dad's that

are

> involved with the support groups here ( & the mommies too!)and off

the

> board too! My husband has never been to any of these groups he has

no

> interest what so ever (in my opinion), and maybe has glanced at our

> website like once, I don't even think he looked at the whole thing!

>

> Michele

> Collin's story at http://www.geocities.com/chele323232

[Guest guest]

Kurt does put Kelsey's shoes on every night. He can

get them on better than I can so I have him do that.

Jenni

--- kannhoudek wrote:

> My husband is pretty good. He goes to as many

> appointments as he

> can, reads up on everything, and helps out with all

> sorts of other

> things.

>

> But, when it comes to putting the shoes on, he has

> yet to do it. I

> think that is entirely my fault though because I

> just don't trust

> anyone to put them on right so I end up doing it

> every night.

>

> He also can't go to all of the appointments because

> he works with

> developmentally disabled adults and can't flex his

> schedule at all.

> I'm lucky because I can come and go as I please as

> long as I get my

> work done.

>

> I often wonder about this as well. is really

> good with

> Aleksander, and really helps out tons. I think he

> could do more,

> naturally, but at least he's trying!

>

>

> > I know Ive mentioned a few times about Drew being

> deployed and it

> > seems to happen quite often now. It made me

> wonder how involved

> your

> > spouses are in the babies' treatment.

> >

> > When Drew's home, he tried to attend the Dr appts

> but mostly he

> ends

> > up hearing about it via a phone call on the way

> home. When he's

> > deployed, I take mental notes and try to get it

> all into one email

> > when I get home and we discuss everything in

> detail. Also, I would

> > copy into an email anything I read on the topic

> and send to him so

> he

> > could study up.

> >

> > After his first deployment last year (Elijah was 4

> months old when

> he

> > came home) it became his job at night after baths

> to put the shoes

> > back on which gave me a huge break from it and put

> some of the

> > responsibility of treatment on his shoulders.

> >

> > Lori

> > and Elijah 3.26.04 RCF atypical DBB nights only

>

>

>

Jenni-

Mom to (10/31/01) and Kelsey (11/7/03)happy girl in DBB nights only for

left clubfoot.

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[Guest guest]

I applaude you parents that do it all... its SUCH a load to bear and

in case you havnt heard it in awhile, " YOURE DOING A GREAT JOB!!!! "

I know that if Drew were around more that he'd do more to help but it

all gets shoved off on me by default b/c of his work schedule. In the

beginning, I dont think he wouldve just voluteered to put the shoes on

but once he started it, he ended up being better at it than me.

Ocassionally, he'd ask for a break b/c he didnt want to be the bad guy

having to hold him down and wrestle the shoes on.

Lori

[Guest guest]

HMMM... Let's see. I do shoes and I do appointments and I do feet stuff and I

do all that. At our house I do the baby things, take care of the little ones

and such like. My husband is really good to help out with the older ones (when

he is around). We farm and so this time of year I feel like posting a picture

of him on the fridge so the kids will remember what he looks like come November.

Just kidding, not quite that bad. He is gone before the kids wake up and home

after bedtime most of the time in the summer, but he does take a child or two

with him during the day quite often. Since we live and work and do everything

here on the farm, he can stop by from time to time if needed (just not too often

or when he is busy or when he has a hose to move or when he needs to fix a

tractor or or or...... . When Tenny first went into his shoes and I was

having a hard time getting them on, he would come home and help me if I called

him. He was really good to help that first week. Since then, I do the shoes

and kids and such. He doesn't ask me to drive tractors or work cows with my

babies hanging around. So it all works out. The extra time invested in feet

doesn't seem to be so great when he will take the older kids out of my hair for

a while. He's about as sensitive to emotional problems as a turnip, but hey,

you can't have everything. He's good to me, he's great with the kids, and he

works hard. And he's good looking. I think I like him.

Off Topic: Spousal involvement

I know Ive mentioned a few times about Drew being deployed and it

seems to happen quite often now. It made me wonder how involved your

spouses are in the babies' treatment.

When Drew's home, he tried to attend the Dr appts but mostly he ends

up hearing about it via a phone call on the way home. When he's

deployed, I take mental notes and try to get it all into one email

when I get home and we discuss everything in detail. Also, I would

copy into an email anything I read on the topic and send to him so he

could study up.

After his first deployment last year (Elijah was 4 months old when he

came home) it became his job at night after baths to put the shoes

back on which gave me a huge break from it and put some of the

responsibility of treatment on his shoulders.

Lori

and Elijah 3.26.04 RCF atypical DBB nights only

[Guest guest]

LOL!!! He's a keeper!! Sounds like you and I are in the same boat,

I wouldnt trade jobs w/ my husband for ANY--THING!!

Lori