The affair

[Guest guest]

I have this Friend. She's married. Before she was married she was

having a relationship with a guy who was outwardly really nice to her,

but abusing her behind closed doors. She made excuses for him, but I

would sometimes see the bruises. The abuse got worse and worse.

Finally she decided he was really not good for her. She met this other

guy, married him, and life was good. Except...Mr. Wrong lives in her

neighborhood, and works at her work place. So she'd see him every day.

He's incredibly seductive and won't leave her alone.

Now they're having an affair. She's promised to love and cherish the

guy she married. But she's carrying on with Mr. Wrong. Started with a

kiss here and there, and now she's thrown all her vows of faithfulness

to the winds. She's bruised again, she's making excuses for Mr. Wrong

again, and...

She's gaining all her weight back.

Martha

[Guest guest]

Martha She is co-dependent on this Mr. Wrong because he's paying attention to her even if what he is doing is abusive. He says he's sorry and huggy, kissy and over and over. She probably loves the man she married, but she probably let the love of the marriage not stay for filling and she thinks she's getting all the attention from Mr. Wrong. With the co-dependency it's hard to break away. I had co-dependency do to my husbands mental illness and I knew it, but I thought I had to only do what he wanted, be there all the time, the list goes on, because I didn't want to set off his depression, anxiety, or anger. My husband wasn't abusive with hitting, just controlling by using his illness. After he started IOP for his problems and I started reading all the material, I realized that I had to be me even if it set his depression off. This did bring us to the decision that we want and need different things in life and have split

after 24 years. I believe I stayed so long because of my boys. After reading the material from my husband's class I set up a meeting with a Psychologist, it was the best thing I ever did for myself. It wasn't easy learning things you don't want to hear about yourself, but I was able to use the information to make some very hard decisions, that is making life better for all. I hope someone can convince your friend to do the same. Other wise the weight gain will keep coming. It's the way she's killing the pain she has. I knew I would not turn to food after getting my weight to goal, but I needed an out, so I turned to the Psychologist and boy what help it was. It's hard what I'm going through but I don't need to turn to food, or take back the old problems, I am working on me and making my life right. This is what your friend needs. I hate to say it she needs to be told, but only we can help our self and if she's not willing

to talk to a Psychologist, she may not get the help she needs. Your a good friend by posting this, I just hope she will listen to you. Take care. Donna J.nursefera2 wrote: I have this Friend. She's married. Before she was married she washaving a relationship with a guy who was outwardly really nice to her,but abusing her behind closed doors. She made excuses for him, but Iwould sometimes see the bruises. The abuse got worse and worse.Finally she decided he was really not good for her. She met this otherguy, married him, and life was good. Except...Mr. Wrong lives in herneighborhood, and works at her work place. So she'd see him every day.He's incredibly seductive and won't leave her alone.Now they're having an affair. She's promised to love and cherish theguy she

married. But she's carrying on with Mr. Wrong. Started with akiss here and there, and now she's thrown all her vows of faithfulnessto the winds. She's bruised again, she's making excuses for Mr. Wrongagain, and...She's gaining all her weight back.MarthaDonna JordonDSJordon@...

Yahoo! Mail Use Photomail to share photos without annoying attachments.

[Guest guest]

Martha, first I would like to say that I am sorry

about the abuse your friend is enduring. I have been

married now for 17 years this year but with my husband

for 19 years. I don't know what I would do if my

husband treated me that way.

I am not a doctor, nurse, psychologist, psychiatrist

or any of those things but the one thing I do know is

that your friend has to WANT to get help. We could

plead with her to do what we know is best which would

be to leave him alone or to try to get some one to

assist her with getting him to leave her alone. I

mean we never know what he is doing or how he is

threatening her if she tries to leave. We just don't

know. She has to want it before she will make a

change.

Whatever the outcome, just know I will whisper her

name as well as her husband when I pray. I hope you

will be fine behind all of this. Its hard to see your

friend being hurt and not really being able to do

anything to help.

You be safe and be encouraged.

Pam Marsh

--- nursefera2 wrote:

> I have this Friend. She's married. Before she was

> married she was

> having a relationship with a guy who was outwardly

> really nice to her,

> but abusing her behind closed doors. She made

> excuses for him, but I

> would sometimes see the bruises. The abuse got worse

> and worse.

> Finally she decided he was really not good for her.

> She met this other

> guy, married him, and life was good. Except...Mr.

> Wrong lives in her

> neighborhood, and works at her work place. So she'd

> see him every day.

> He's incredibly seductive and won't leave her alone.

> Now they're having an affair. She's promised to love

> and cherish the

> guy she married. But she's carrying on with Mr.

> Wrong. Started with a

> kiss here and there, and now she's thrown all her

> vows of faithfulness

> to the winds. She's bruised again, she's making

> excuses for Mr. Wrong

> again, and...

> She's gaining all her weight back.

> Martha

>

>

>

>

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Martha, I did not get confused. I know you said is

was a man she was seeing that works with her and not

her husband who is the abuser. I just know that her

husband needs prayer just as much as she does just in

case this thing gets really ugly and he finds out

about it.

Take care.

Pam Marsh

--- Pamela A Marsh

wrote:

> Martha, first I would like to say that I am sorry

> about the abuse your friend is enduring. I have

> been

> married now for 17 years this year but with my

> husband

> for 19 years. I don't know what I would do if my

> husband treated me that way.

>

> I am not a doctor, nurse, psychologist, psychiatrist

> or any of those things but the one thing I do know

> is

> that your friend has to WANT to get help. We could

> plead with her to do what we know is best which

> would

> be to leave him alone or to try to get some one to

> assist her with getting him to leave her alone. I

> mean we never know what he is doing or how he is

> threatening her if she tries to leave. We just

> don't

> know. She has to want it before she will make a

> change.

>

> Whatever the outcome, just know I will whisper her

> name as well as her husband when I pray. I hope you

> will be fine behind all of this. Its hard to see

> your

> friend being hurt and not really being able to do

> anything to help.

>

> You be safe and be encouraged.

>

> Pam Marsh

>

> --- nursefera2 wrote:

>

> > I have this Friend. She's married. Before she was

> > married she was

> > having a relationship with a guy who was outwardly

> > really nice to her,

> > but abusing her behind closed doors. She made

> > excuses for him, but I

> > would sometimes see the bruises. The abuse got

> worse

> > and worse.

> > Finally she decided he was really not good for

> her.

> > She met this other

> > guy, married him, and life was good. Except...Mr.

> > Wrong lives in her

> > neighborhood, and works at her work place. So

> she'd

> > see him every day.

> > He's incredibly seductive and won't leave her

> alone.

> > Now they're having an affair. She's promised to

> love

> > and cherish the

> > guy she married. But she's carrying on with Mr.

> > Wrong. Started with a

> > kiss here and there, and now she's thrown all her

> > vows of faithfulness

> > to the winds. She's bruised again, she's making

> > excuses for Mr. Wrong

> > again, and...

> > She's gaining all her weight back.

> > Martha

> >

> >

> >

> >

>

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

I really have no advice to your friend, except to say that matters of

the heart are a strange thing. I hope that she sees that she is worthy

of so much more than abuse at the hands of some one who vows that he

loves her. Many women are fooled into believing that its their fault

and that they dont deserve any better. Hopefully some where deep inside

she can pull on her strength and find peace.

>

> I have this Friend. She's married. Before she was married she was

> having a relationship with a guy who was outwardly really nice to her,

> but abusing her behind closed doors. She made excuses for him, but I

> would sometimes see the bruises. The abuse got worse and worse.

> Finally she decided he was really not good for her. She met this other

> guy, married him, and life was good. Except...Mr. Wrong lives in her

> neighborhood, and works at her work place. So she'd see him every day.

> He's incredibly seductive and won't leave her alone.

> Now they're having an affair. She's promised to love and cherish the

> guy she married. But she's carrying on with Mr. Wrong. Started with a

> kiss here and there, and now she's thrown all her vows of faithfulness

> to the winds. She's bruised again, she's making excuses for Mr. Wrong

> again, and...

> She's gaining all her weight back.

> Martha

>

[Guest guest]

Pam Marsh I agree not only does Martha's friend have to WANT help, she might be scared of the mess she's in. She's probably worried that her husband will find out and destroy her marriage. She might have children she worries about, and she might be scared of what will happen to herself, her job, so she's scared to tell anyone. So Martha encourage her, but realize she can be the only one to fix this and she must WANT to. It might become messing before it gets fixed, but she needs to do whatever it takes to fix things for herself. Encourage her Martha and be there is all you can do, and pray. Sorry for making this a 2 person message Pam. How are you Pam? I still am so excited for your plastic surgery, I think I watch the calendar for you. LOL Things are getting worked out around here, but changes like this is hard in life, but needed. You take care. After that plastic surgery, I'm coming to see

you. Take before and after pictures ( not to post) just so you can see where you've come from. I Happy Dancing for you my friend. Donna J.Pamela A Marsh wrote: Martha, I did not get confused. I know you said iswas a man she was seeing that works with her and nother husband who is the abuser. I just know that herhusband needs prayer just as much as she does just incase this thing gets really ugly and he finds outabout it.Take care.Pam Marsh--- Pamela A Marsh wrote:> Martha, first I would like to say that I am sorry> about the abuse your friend is enduring. I have> been> married now for 17 years this year but with my> husband> for 19 years. I

don't know what I would do if my> husband treated me that way.> > I am not a doctor, nurse, psychologist, psychiatrist> or any of those things but the one thing I do know> is> that your friend has to WANT to get help. We could> plead with her to do what we know is best which> would> be to leave him alone or to try to get some one to> assist her with getting him to leave her alone. I> mean we never know what he is doing or how he is> threatening her if she tries to leave. We just> don't> know. She has to want it before she will make a> change.> > Whatever the outcome, just know I will whisper her> name as well as her husband when I pray. I hope you> will be fine behind all of this. Its hard to see> your> friend being hurt and not really being able to do> anything to help.> > You be

safe and be encouraged.> > Pam Marsh> > --- nursefera2 wrote:> > > I have this Friend. She's married. Before she was> > married she was> > having a relationship with a guy who was outwardly> > really nice to her,> > but abusing her behind closed doors. She made> > excuses for him, but I> > would sometimes see the bruises. The abuse got> worse> > and worse.> > Finally she decided he was really not good for> her.> > She met this other> > guy, married him, and life was good. Except...Mr.> > Wrong lives in her> > neighborhood, and works at her work place. So> she'd> > see him every day.> > He's incredibly seductive and won't leave her> alone.> > Now they're having an affair. She's promised to> love> > and cherish

the> > guy she married. But she's carrying on with Mr.> > Wrong. Started with a> > kiss here and there, and now she's thrown all her> > vows of faithfulness> > to the winds. She's bruised again, she's making> > excuses for Mr. Wrong> > again, and...> > She's gaining all her weight back.> > Martha> > > > > > > > > > > __________________________________________________>

[Guest guest]

Donna, I am sure Martha won't mind or think anything

about you piggy backing off the message here. Thank

you and I am watching the calendar. Just really ready

to have this final surgery. It will in

sorts...complete things and then my journey will

begin. Its been amazing so I thank you for your

continued support. I will be looking for you post

surgery. Now for the pictures..I can't promise you

anything as I never was a person that liked to take

pictures and for obvious reasons. Even now, I don't

take hardly any but we will see. Thank again for

everything.

Martha, hang in there and be encouraged. She will

need you and more than you probably realize.

Pam Marsh

--- Donna Jordon wrote:

> Pam Marsh

> I agree not only does Martha's friend have to WANT

> help, she might be scared of the mess she's in.

> She's probably worried that her husband will find

> out and destroy her marriage. She might have

> children she worries about, and she might be scared

> of what will happen to herself, her job, so she's

> scared to tell anyone. So Martha encourage her, but

> realize she can be the only one to fix this and she

> must WANT to. It might become messing before it

> gets fixed, but she needs to do whatever it takes to

> fix things for herself. Encourage her Martha and be

> there is all you can do, and pray. Sorry for making

> this a 2 person message Pam. How are you Pam? I

> still am so excited for your plastic surgery, I

> think I watch the calendar for you. LOL Things are

> getting worked out around here, but changes like

> this is hard in life, but needed. You take care.

> After that plastic surgery, I'm coming to see you.

> Take before and after pictures ( not to post) just

> so you can see where you've

> come from. I Happy Dancing for you my friend.

> Donna J.

>

> Pamela A Marsh wrote:

> Martha, I did not get confused. I know you said

> is

> was a man she was seeing that works with her and not

> her husband who is the abuser. I just know that her

> husband needs prayer just as much as she does just

> in

> case this thing gets really ugly and he finds out

> about it.

>

> Take care.

>

> Pam Marsh

>

> --- Pamela A Marsh

> wrote:

>

> > Martha, first I would like to say that I am sorry

> > about the abuse your friend is enduring. I have

> > been

> > married now for 17 years this year but with my

> > husband

> > for 19 years. I don't know what I would do if my

> > husband treated me that way.

> >

> > I am not a doctor, nurse, psychologist,

> psychiatrist

> > or any of those things but the one thing I do know

> > is

> > that your friend has to WANT to get help. We

> could

> > plead with her to do what we know is best which

> > would

> > be to leave him alone or to try to get some one to

> > assist her with getting him to leave her alone. I

> > mean we never know what he is doing or how he is

> > threatening her if she tries to leave. We just

> > don't

> > know. She has to want it before she will make a

> > change.

> >

> > Whatever the outcome, just know I will whisper her

> > name as well as her husband when I pray. I hope

> you

> > will be fine behind all of this. Its hard to see

> > your

> > friend being hurt and not really being able to do

> > anything to help.

> >

> > You be safe and be encouraged.

> >

> > Pam Marsh

> >

> > --- nursefera2 wrote:

> >

> > > I have this Friend. She's married. Before she

> was

> > > married she was

> > > having a relationship with a guy who was

> outwardly

> > > really nice to her,

> > > but abusing her behind closed doors. She made

> > > excuses for him, but I

> > > would sometimes see the bruises. The abuse got

> > worse

> > > and worse.

> > > Finally she decided he was really not good for

> > her.

> > > She met this other

> > > guy, married him, and life was good.

> Except...Mr.

> > > Wrong lives in her

> > > neighborhood, and works at her work place. So

> > she'd

> > > see him every day.

> > > He's incredibly seductive and won't leave her

> > alone.

> > > Now they're having an affair. She's promised to

> > love

> > > and cherish the

> > > guy she married. But she's carrying on with Mr.

> > > Wrong. Started with a

> > > kiss here and there, and now she's thrown all

> her

> > > vows of faithfulness

> > > to the winds. She's bruised again, she's making

> > > excuses for Mr. Wrong

> > > again, and...

> > > She's gaining all her weight back.

> > > Martha

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

> >

> > __________________________________________________

> >