Life Path changes

July 17, 2008

Once again I find myself reflecting on how my "life's path" has changed due to chronic illness. I question myself, am I on the right path, is this what I'm supposed to do with my life-- is researching the effects and treatments of sarcoidosis still the right way for me to continue on with my journey-- sharing the acts and challenges of living daily with this disease.

I didn't plan on this-- none of us did. We did not think our illness into reality, we do not keep ourself ill because of our thoughts, and we can't think ourself well. What we can do is embrace this journey and look at the small gifts it has brought into our life.

I know, you say "what gifts??" What the hell has this brought me beside pain, a loss of financal security, personal and professional identity, a loss of friendships, or maybe even relationships and marriages. To stay in this place of pain and loss is only going to rob us of appreciating the small gifts that are around us-- so we come to each other, and ask what can I do to find a "quality of life" in this chapter of our existence.

With this in mind, I still find that the "gift" is that I've had to slow down-- some days to a full stop. I've had to learn to listen to others and keep an open heart and mind-- some days - most days, this is the biggest challenge. Trying to walk a tightrope between the sadness of the losses, and the joy of the online friendships is hard. All we can do is try not to piss too many off by setting up perimeters that keep balance in all we do. Is this even attainable? I don't know, at best-- it is most imperfect.

When we put Titles on other-- be it racial, spiritual, disabled, unable, feeble minded, closed minded, righteous, indignent, overpowering-- you get the idea.. We limit ourself to what our preconceived idea is that directs our idea of that person. How many times have we all found that we lost out because we decided not to participate because we think the person presenting their concept is not a "good" person-- "good" by our idea of what is "good."

I had the opportunity to sit with a wonderful woman just a couple of days ago. She has lost her vision to macular degeneration, and has been totally blind for the last several years. We were talking about this loss, and whether the loss of vision versus the loss of hearing, which would you choose? She shared that she was grateful that it was her vision she has lost-- as now she has to rely on what comes from someones speech as her "judgement" of others, instead of relying on her "visual" prejudices that sight imposed.

Needless to say, this made me think-- ok. I'm losing part of the way my body and mind have always functioned, but what has been replaced. When I don't get caught up in anothers ideas of right and wrong, then I am free to listen-- with an open heart and open mind. I think for me that is part of the beauty of this group. We can be "anonymous" as we are unseen. This opens up the opportunity to speak freely-- openly, and without prejudice. Add a title-- and that all changes. This is actually what is behind keeping the group generic in our faith. I don't want anyone to miss out on a message that will come from someone that is saying what you need to hear--- without all those preconceived notions.

Today, I'll look for the beauty of messages in each of your posts, and hope that you'll find that someone -- anyone, will touch your heart with the love and compassion we all deserve.

Heartfully

Tracie

NS Co-owner/moderator

July 17, 2008

well put Tracie, Every day is a different journey, and I feel blessed if I wake up to another day, and take that one day at a time. Yesterday I got called by both my Rhuemy and Pulmonologist about my lab work, my Liver enzyme's are high and I had

an appt. with my Pulmon today, OK that was a little concerning as I usually have to make my appt a month ahead, But all is well, well except I need to not take my next Methotrexate dose on Sunday, I can still get my Remicade on

Wed. but have to have labs rechecked after being off Metho for awhile. So I live for change, and know that each day will bring more change, and that's OK. I hope you are doing OK, I hear sadness in your writing? I hope you know even with the diversity of this group you

are so very loved by so many. Think of all those who love you when you awake and when you go to sleep, and know you are being held and lead by God's hand in all that you do and say. You touch many hearts, I know mine has been touched by your loving kindness

May you have a blessed day, every day. Love to ya, Marla

Once again I find myself reflecting on how my " life's path " has changed due to chronic illness. I question myself, am I on the right path, is this what I'm supposed to do with my life-- is researching the effects and treatments of sarcoidosis still the right way for me to continue on with my journey-- sharing the acts and challenges of living daily with this disease.

I didn't plan on this-- none of us did. We did not think our illness into reality, we do not keep ourself ill because of our thoughts, and we can't think ourself well. What we can do is embrace this journey and look at the small gifts it has brought into our life.

I know, you say " what gifts?? " What the hell has this brought me beside pain, a loss of financal security, personal and professional identity, a loss of friendships, or maybe even relationships and marriages. To stay in this place of pain and loss is only going to rob us of appreciating the small gifts that are around us-- so we come to each other, and ask what can I do to find a " quality of life " in this chapter of our existence.

With this in mind, I still find that the " gift " is that I've had to slow down-- some days to a full stop. I've had to learn to listen to others and keep an open heart and mind-- some days - most days, this is the biggest challenge. Trying to walk a tightrope between the sadness of the losses, and the joy of the online friendships is hard. All we can do is try not to piss too many off by setting up perimeters that keep balance in all we do. Is this even attainable? I don't know, at best-- it is most imperfect.

When we put Titles on other-- be it racial, spiritual, disabled, unable, feeble minded, closed minded, righteous, indignent, overpowering-- you get the idea.. We limit ourself to what our preconceived idea is that directs our idea of that person. How many times have we all found that we lost out because we decided not to participate because we think the person presenting their concept is not a " good " person-- " good " by our idea of what is " good. "

I had the opportunity to sit with a wonderful woman just a couple of days ago. She has lost her vision to macular degeneration, and has been totally blind for the last several years. We were talking about this loss, and whether the loss of vision versus the loss of hearing, which would you choose? She shared that she was grateful that it was her vision she has lost-- as now she has to rely on what comes from someones speech as her " judgement " of others, instead of relying on her " visual " prejudices that sight imposed.

Needless to say, this made me think-- ok. I'm losing part of the way my body and mind have always functioned, but what has been replaced. When I don't get caught up in anothers ideas of right and wrong, then I am free to listen-- with an open heart and open mind. I think for me that is part of the beauty of this group. We can be " anonymous " as we are unseen. This opens up the opportunity to speak freely-- openly, and without prejudice. Add a title-- and that all changes. This is actually what is behind keeping the group generic in our faith. I don't want anyone to miss out on a message that will come from someone that is saying what you need to hear--- without all those preconceived notions.

Today, I'll look for the beauty of messages in each of your posts, and hope that you'll find that someone -- anyone, will touch your heart with the love and compassion we all deserve.

Heartfully

Tracie

NS Co-owner/moderator

-- Marla Bramer Independent Beauty Consultant Kaymbramer@... www.marykay.com

'I know the plans I have for you, declared the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you; Plans to give you a future and a hope

July 17, 2008

Marla, I guess I am and have been going through some depression lately, and with being cooped up with all the smoke, tonight again, it has dropped down into the night, and is "hazardous" for those with "good" lungs. It's downright dangerous for those of us with crap for lungs.

So many times though-- when I know I'm fighting my way back out of depression, it helps me to see that there are ways to look at what is good going on around us-- if only we open our minds to it. That is what I'm saying to everyone, don't let your personal judgements make you decide not to share this journey. It's hard to know what and how to balance all the demands of 500 plus members, demands may not be the right word, but the needs - is probably a better way to state this.

We all have needs. We all want answers, and we want them now. We know that having to await the bureaucratic decision makers action- that we are really not in control. At least not the kind of control we thought we had when we were "well."

How do we get from "wellness" to "wholeness?" Sometime we end up in the "hole" part of the journey, and some days we get a gleamse of being "whole."

For me, it has been a part of a deep spiritual journey, that is both one of faith and more-- one of "spirituality without the influence of others concept of right and wrong." It's hard to explain and when you are in the "hole" it's hard to see that it is a journey.

A good friend of mine states that I need to come back to Taking It One Day At A Time....

Love to all,

Tracie

Re: Life Path changes

well put Tracie, Every day is a different journey, and I feel blessed if I wake up to another day, and take that one day at a time. Yesterday I got called by both my Rhuemy and Pulmonologist about my lab work, my Liver enzyme's are high and I had an appt. with my Pulmon today, OK that was a little concerning as I usually have to make my appt a month ahead, But all is well, well except I need to not take my next Methotrexate dose on Sunday, I can still get my Remicade on Wed. but have to have labs rechecked after being off Metho for awhile. So I live for change, and know that each day will bring more change, and that's OK. I hope you are doing OK, I hear sadness in your writing? I hope you know even with the diversity of this group you are so very loved by so many. Think of all those who love you when you awake and when you go to sleep, and know you are being

held and lead by God's hand in all that you do and say. You touch many hearts, I know mine has been touched by your loving kindnessMay you have a blessed day, every day. Love to ya, Marla

On Fri, Jul 18, 2008 at 2:42 AM, tracie feldhaus <tiodaat2001@ yahoo.com> wrote:

Once again I find myself reflecting on how my "life's path" has changed due to chronic illness. I question myself, am I on the right path, is this what I'm supposed to do with my life-- is researching the effects and treatments of sarcoidosis still the right way for me to continue on with my journey-- sharing the acts and challenges of living daily with this disease.

I didn't plan on this-- none of us did. We did not think our illness into reality, we do not keep ourself ill because of our thoughts, and we can't think ourself well. What we can do is embrace this journey and look at the small gifts it has brought into our life.

I know, you say "what gifts??" What the hell has this brought me beside pain, a loss of financal security, personal and professional identity, a loss of friendships, or maybe even relationships and marriages. To stay in this place of pain and loss is only going to rob us of appreciating the small gifts that are around us-- so we come to each other, and ask what can I do to find a "quality of life" in this chapter of our existence.

With this in mind, I still find that the "gift" is that I've had to slow down-- some days to a full stop. I've had to learn to listen to others and keep an open heart and mind-- some days - most days, this is the biggest challenge. Trying to walk a tightrope between the sadness of the losses, and the joy of the online friendships is hard. All we can do is try not to piss too many off by setting up perimeters that keep balance in all we do. Is this even attainable? I don't know, at best-- it is most imperfect.

When we put Titles on other-- be it racial, spiritual, disabled, unable, feeble minded, closed minded, righteous, indignent, overpowering- - you get the idea.. We limit ourself to what our preconceived idea is that directs our idea of that person. How many times have we all found that we lost out because we decided not to participate because we think the person presenting their concept is not a "good" person-- "good" by our idea of what is "good."

I had the opportunity to sit with a wonderful woman just a couple of days ago. She has lost her vision to macular degeneration, and has been totally blind for the last several years. We were talking about this loss, and whether the loss of vision versus the loss of hearing, which would you choose? She shared that she was grateful that it was her vision she has lost-- as now she has to rely on what comes from someones speech as her "judgement" of others, instead of relying on her "visual" prejudices that sight imposed.

Needless to say, this made me think-- ok. I'm losing part of the way my body and mind have always functioned, but what has been replaced. When I don't get caught up in anothers ideas of right and wrong, then I am free to listen-- with an open heart and open mind. I think for me that is part of the beauty of this group. We can be "anonymous" as we are unseen. This opens up the opportunity to speak freely-- openly, and without prejudice. Add a title-- and that all changes. This is actually what is behind keeping the group generic in our faith. I don't want anyone to miss out on a message that will come from someone that is saying what you need to hear--- without all those preconceived notions.

Today, I'll look for the beauty of messages in each of your posts, and hope that you'll find that someone -- anyone, will touch your heart with the love and compassion we all deserve.

Heartfully

Tracie

NS Co-owner/moderator

-- Marla Bramer Independent Beauty Consultant Kaymbramer (AT) marykay (DOT) com www.marykay. com 'I know the plans I have for you, declared the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you; Plans to give you a future and a hope

July 17, 2008

Tracie, I hope you get a chance to get out of there and find some semi clean air to breath, I know sometimes you drive to the beach, is that a possibility? That would be nice to hear the ocean and feel the breeze. It's been hot here, probably not as hot as there,

but today it was cooler and we had a nice breeze, I will just stand there and feel the air, for some reason that feels so good. I hope you get a chance to get out, I would be more then depressed if I were house bound as long as you have been.

I am blowing you some of our clear clean Rocky Mtn air to you, take a deep breathand feel the air and the hope that is coming with it, all we have is hope, (hope is believing).I am home all day tomorrow give me a call if you are up to a chat. " OK " .

more love to you, Marla

Marla, I guess I am and have been going through some depression lately, and with being cooped up with all the smoke, tonight again, it has dropped down into the night, and is " hazardous " for those with " good " lungs. It's downright dangerous for those of us with crap for lungs.

So many times though-- when I know I'm fighting my way back out of depression, it helps me to see that there are ways to look at what is good going on around us-- if only we open our minds to it. That is what I'm saying to everyone, don't let your personal judgements make you decide not to share this journey. It's hard to know what and how to balance all the demands of 500 plus members, demands may not be the right word, but the needs - is probably a better way to state this.

We all have needs. We all want answers, and we want them now. We know that having to await the bureaucratic decision makers action- that we are really not in control. At least not the kind of control we thought we had when we were " well. "

How do we get from " wellness " to " wholeness? " Sometime we end up in the " hole " part of the journey, and some days we get a gleamse of being " whole. "

For me, it has been a part of a deep spiritual journey, that is both one of faith and more-- one of " spirituality without the influence of others concept of right and wrong. " It's hard to explain and when you are in the " hole " it's hard to see that it is a journey.

A good friend of mine states that I need to come back to Taking It One Day At A Time....

Love to all,

Tracie

Re: Life Path changes

well put Tracie, Every day is a different journey, and I feel blessed if I wake up to another day, and take that one day at a time. Yesterday I got called by both my Rhuemy and Pulmonologist about my lab work, my Liver enzyme's are high and I had

an appt. with my Pulmon today, OK that was a little concerning as I usually have to make my appt a month ahead, But all is well, well except I need to not take my next Methotrexate dose on Sunday, I can still get my Remicade on

Wed. but have to have labs rechecked after being off Metho for awhile. So I live for change, and know that each day will bring more change, and that's OK. I hope you are doing OK, I hear sadness in your writing? I hope you know even with the diversity of this group you

are so very loved by so many. Think of all those who love you when you awake and when you go to sleep, and know you are being

held and lead by God's hand in all that you do and say. You touch many hearts, I know mine has been touched by your loving kindnessMay you have a blessed day, every day. Love to ya, Marla

On Fri, Jul 18, 2008 at 2:42 AM, tracie feldhaus <tiodaat2001@ yahoo.com> wrote:

Once again I find myself reflecting on how my " life's path " has changed due to chronic illness. I question myself, am I on the right path, is this what I'm supposed to do with my life-- is researching the effects and treatments of sarcoidosis still the right way for me to continue on with my journey-- sharing the acts and challenges of living daily with this disease.

I didn't plan on this-- none of us did. We did not think our illness into reality, we do not keep ourself ill because of our thoughts, and we can't think ourself well. What we can do is embrace this journey and look at the small gifts it has brought into our life.

I know, you say " what gifts?? " What the hell has this brought me beside pain, a loss of financal security, personal and professional identity, a loss of friendships, or maybe even relationships and marriages. To stay in this place of pain and loss is only going to rob us of appreciating the small gifts that are around us-- so we come to each other, and ask what can I do to find a " quality of life " in this chapter of our existence.

With this in mind, I still find that the " gift " is that I've had to slow down-- some days to a full stop. I've had to learn to listen to others and keep an open heart and mind-- some days - most days, this is the biggest challenge. Trying to walk a tightrope between the sadness of the losses, and the joy of the online friendships is hard. All we can do is try not to piss too many off by setting up perimeters that keep balance in all we do. Is this even attainable? I don't know, at best-- it is most imperfect.

When we put Titles on other-- be it racial, spiritual, disabled, unable, feeble minded, closed minded, righteous, indignent, overpowering- - you get the idea.. We limit ourself to what our preconceived idea is that directs our idea of that person. How many times have we all found that we lost out because we decided not to participate because we think the person presenting their concept is not a " good " person-- " good " by our idea of what is " good. "

I had the opportunity to sit with a wonderful woman just a couple of days ago. She has lost her vision to macular degeneration, and has been totally blind for the last several years. We were talking about this loss, and whether the loss of vision versus the loss of hearing, which would you choose? She shared that she was grateful that it was her vision she has lost-- as now she has to rely on what comes from someones speech as her " judgement " of others, instead of relying on her " visual " prejudices that sight imposed.

Needless to say, this made me think-- ok. I'm losing part of the way my body and mind have always functioned, but what has been replaced. When I don't get caught up in anothers ideas of right and wrong, then I am free to listen-- with an open heart and open mind. I think for me that is part of the beauty of this group. We can be " anonymous " as we are unseen. This opens up the opportunity to speak freely-- openly, and without prejudice. Add a title-- and that all changes. This is actually what is behind keeping the group generic in our faith. I don't want anyone to miss out on a message that will come from someone that is saying what you need to hear--- without all those preconceived notions.

Today, I'll look for the beauty of messages in each of your posts, and hope that you'll find that someone -- anyone, will touch your heart with the love and compassion we all deserve.

Heartfully

Tracie

NS Co-owner/moderator

-- Marla Bramer Independent Beauty Consultant

Kaymbramer (AT) marykay (DOT) com www.marykay. com 'I know the plans I have for you, declared the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you; Plans to give you a future and a hope

-- Marla Bramer Independent Beauty Consultant Kaymbramer@... www.marykay.com

'I know the plans I have for you, declared the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you; Plans to give you a future and a hope

July 18, 2008

yes that was very touching and true

Many Blessings and Hugs Abouhamama

Tracie that was beautiful.

Michele (FL)

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July 18, 2008

Tracie that was beautiful.

Michele (FL)

July 18, 2008

Hi Tracie,I really appreciate your post today, and understand what your mean, because no matter how I feel when I awake in the morning the following is my promise for the the day every dayI PROMISE MYSELFTo be so strong that nothing can disturb my peace of mind.To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person I meet.To make all my friends feel that there is something, worthwhile in them.To look at the sunny side of everything and make my optimism come trueTo think only of the best, to work only for the best, and expect only the best.To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as I am about my own.To forget the

mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievement of the future.To wear a cheerful expression at all times and give a smile to every living creature I meet.To give so much time to improving myself that I have no time to criticize others.To be too large for worry, too noble anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.To think well of myself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud words, but in great deeds.To live in the faith that whole world is on my side, so long as I am true to the best that is in me.Shyrose Keira "You cannot do a kindness too soon. because you never know how soon it will be too late." Life Path changesOnce again I find myself reflecting on how my "life's path" has changed due to chronic illness. I

question myself, am I on the right path, is this what I'm supposed to do with my life-- is researching the effects and treatments of sarcoidosis still the right way for me to continue on with my journey-- sharing the acts and challenges of living daily with this disease. I didn't plan on this-- none of us did. We did not think our illness into reality, we do not keep ourself ill because of our thoughts, and we can't think ourself well. What we can do is embrace this journey and look at the small gifts it has brought into our life. I know, you say "what gifts??" What the hell has this brought me beside pain, a loss of financal security, personal and professional identity, a loss of friendships, or maybe even relationships and marriages. To

stay in this place of pain and loss is only going to rob us of appreciating the small gifts that are around us-- so we come to each other, and ask what can I do to find a "quality of life" in this chapter of our existence. With this in mind, I still find that the "gift" is that I've had to slow down-- some days to a full stop. I've had to learn to listen to others and keep an open heart and mind-- some days - most days, this is the biggest challenge. Trying to walk a tightrope between the sadness of the losses, and the joy of the online friendships is hard. All we can do is try not to piss too many off by setting up perimeters that keep balance in all we do. Is this even attainable? I don't know, at best-- it is most imperfect. When we put Titles on

other-- be it racial, spiritual, disabled, unable, feeble minded, closed minded, righteous, indignent, overpowering- - you get the idea.. We limit ourself to what our preconceived idea is that directs our idea of that person. How many times have we all found that we lost out because we decided not to participate because we think the person presenting their concept is not a "good" person-- "good" by our idea of what is "good." I had the opportunity to sit with a wonderful woman just a couple of days ago. She has lost her vision to macular degeneration, and has been totally blind for the last several years. We were talking about this loss, and whether the loss of vision versus the loss of hearing, which would you choose? She shared that she was grateful that it was her vision she has lost-- as now she has to rely on

what comes from someones speech as her "judgement" of others, instead of relying on her "visual" prejudices that sight imposed. Needless to say, this made me think-- ok. I'm losing part of the way my body and mind have always functioned, but what has been replaced. When I don't get caught up in anothers ideas of right and wrong, then I am free to listen-- with an open heart and open mind. I think for me that is part of the beauty of this group. We can be "anonymous" as we are unseen. This opens up the opportunity to speak freely-- openly, and without prejudice. Add a title-- and that all changes. This is actually what is behind keeping the group generic in our faith. I don't want anyone to miss out on a message that will come from someone that is saying what you need to hear--- without all those preconceived notions.

Today, I'll look for the beauty of messages in each of your posts, and hope that you'll find that someone -- anyone, will touch your heart with the love and compassion we all deserve. HeartfullyTracieNS Co-owner/moderator

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July 18, 2008

Shyrose,

This is beautiful. Thank you for sharing.