Re: [SPAM] Jackie I loved your post , would like some advice from the group

[Guest guest]

Judy

I really know how hard it is not to be able to do the fix for the offspring. I also know how very hard it is to sit and watch them dig themselves in deeper and deeper. I have had to sit and watch both of my children fall in debt so far that they would never get out. Bankruptcy is a choice but I know how bad it makes one feel. I have been there. It is humiliating even if you are the only ones that know about it. I have also been involved with credit counselors and I found it didn't work for me. Maybe I got a bad one I don't know. With the bk I have actually been able to bring my credit score back to a safe range. They didn't touch my house or my cars. I guess it is a necessity. I filed in 2001 and am now better than I have ever been. I have been granted credit cards again (which I have refused many of them) a set limit is mandatory on most of them that has been offered. It is not easy epically with the illness that needs constant attention but it is doable. In the meantime you need to take care of you. You can listen all you can but know that this is your adult children's cross to bare. And like I said I know it is hard.

We can only love them now, they are adults. Now is the time to take care of you. As for your son being so sick I pray that he gets better and better. At the very least learn how to cope with his illness. We can't always change things but we can learn to deal with the ups and downs.

Listen to Tracie, she is so very knowledgeable about almost everything it seems. She has helped me more than once. Just reading all the posts from this wonderful group has helped very much.

If you ever need to just talk this is the place. and I am here also.

Please remember we are woman and we can handle things that others (men) can't. Stay strong and Lots and Lots of HUGS.

Cyber to Hugs to you.

Jackie

[sPAM] Jackie I loved your post , would like some advice from the group

Jackie your note was what I needed. Life has been very uncomfortable and unsetteling. I am going to a a counselor who was in charge of our psych department when I worked in the inner city health center.Tomorrow they will attempt to do a bone marrow biopsy again. Dr. Baughman feels sure that my bone marrow has granulomas and that is why my bone marrow has been so sick.My son who was diagnosed with pulmonary sarcoid was hit in the tummy by a plane he was working on privetally so no workmans comp. He is now experiencing a hard not movable mass in his abdomen that he can feel when touching his abdomen. He will have another catscan and then so a surgeon for evaluation.He is very much in debt as so many young families are now adays.He doesn.t believe he has any disability insurance and he and his wife just can't get it straight that they are in debt way over their heads, To the tune of a second mortgauge for $50000 . His wife works part time as a nurses aide.. This is the son who was diagnosed with pulmonary sarcoidosis last year. We flew to Cincinnati to see Dr. Baughman. Who had wonderful treatment options and his cough is now gone.They have ordered another CT of his abdomen and made a consultation appointment with a good local surgery group. If he needs to have abdominal surgery and is off from work for 6 weeks he could possibly lose everything. And we just don't have the money to pay their bills.It is hard for nurses to be uinable to fix something.My husband who really a great person told me not to worry, they have chosen this lifestyle and that maybe losing their home will be what is necessary for them to see that they are living a life beyond their income ability. I know he is right. It still makes me hurt to see them act so irresponsaibly. about a year before they bought their home I suggested that they talk to a friend who is a terrific realtor and find out what the payments would be for the the type of house they were looking for;. Then each month put the amount over their current mortguage into the bank until they decide to buy that home. Then evaluate what changes in their life style would be necessary to buy the new home. Of course they chose to not do that.Everyone I need some help dealing with all of this. Most of all I need advice and a hug.Your buddy,Judy in PA