Re: Re: Tonsils Coming Out...New Pain...and Coping with Family Updated

[Guest guest]

Everyone, Thank you so much for your comments. Like we all say over and over again...It is so nice to know we are not alone in these issues! I made an attempt to bring everyone together before Abigail has surgery, but I haven't gotten a response yet. I left a message on their answering machine, and wrote an email...however they haven't written back or called. The message was simple. I invited them over for a BBQ next weekend so that we could all spend some quality time together before Abigail is run down from the surgery. When I made the effort it gave them two weeks notice. So far...nothing. As odd as this sounds, it feels like they only come around for bragging rights...so that they can say, "oh we were there." It isn't right, but it is so much like when my grandmother died a couple years ago. There were family members that never did anything for her, never even called her. Then, each time they thought she was about to die they rushed in. When she was ok,

but before she was well enough to know they were there...they were gone. In the end they were patting themselves on the back for beingt here when she died. I didn't understand then, and I don't understand now. I guess I just expect more than a phone call every few months.

I am hoping that something will give and a week from now I will write that everyone came together and shared a wonderful BBQ with the children.

Thx for listening.

scrod98 wrote:

You know, every family is different. My 13 year old son just spent 30days in the hospital and the only time my father visited was when hecame along with the Pastor. My mother never came up at all. Manytimes we would love to have family around, even if they were a painabout things. And no, they don't show up for the other things. Mymom will come for birthday parties, but my dad always seems to be busywith one thing or another. He is actually doing things, not hiding,but would love to see him clear his calendar just once. As I tried toexplain to him once, with mito, he may turn around one day and nothave one of his grandchildren anymore.I will get off my rant now <sorry>My wife's mom helps out a lot with watching the other kids during drappointments and when someone is in hospital.Rod---

In Mito , "mr_lucy" <mr_lucy@y...> wrote:> > Hi Guys! > Well we scheduled Abigail's tonsilectomy. We will be going in on May > 2nd. My husbands mom is coming to visit while we go through this in > case Abigail has to stay in the hospital for a few days. This will > help out a lot with our oldest daughter. Mikaela gets really upset > when Abigail is away. After the last visit she is more aware of what > is happening. > The only things bothering me about Abigail right now is that she is > having muscle pain in her back, and legs. Sunday she had a fit over > the pain. Today she is fine. I just don't know what to think. I get a > sick feeling in my stomache. So, once again I will probibly call the > dr. for wisdom. Does anyone else have this sort of pain?> I have one more question...in regard to family and coping with > illness. My husband's step mother

who has had nothing to do with our > family since December, and never responds to email called to talk to > Abigail on Sunday. They spoke for only a couple minutes, and then that > was it. It is really weird...she is front and center when Abigail is > in the hospital or when she is having surgery. "Oh I want to be there > for you..." Then she vanishes and it is like we don't even exist. I > just do not know what to make of this. Not to mention when she > is "there for us" she mannages to make us even more upset. Just her > being there makes us feel more upset rather than comforted. Does > anyone else have people that seem to be atracted to the high drama, > and then just aren't there otherwise? How much do you offer extended > family? Marc and I seem to manage things better when there aren't half > a dozen people at the hospital with us. It is as if we get more > strength just from eachother.

Am I depriving people if I say that it > is better to see them after Abigail is settled, and we have > perspective about her condition? > > Thx for listening! > > MystPlease contact mito-owner with any problems or questions.

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