Re: [SPAM]RE: Re: Getting my son into college

[Guest guest]

My two cents too

When my daughter graduated we went all out with help of my mother. She had an apt. by a jr. college, a job right and ready and 2 days to start. She decided to become a nanny and went to NY. She was under contract so stayed for the entire year. Came home and Was able to get into the University of Wisconsin, Madison. 1st semester did great, 2nd semester partied out. What a loss the girl is a wiz in all she does. After years of blaming myself for not pushing enough I had to realize she is of age and on her own, to make her own mistakes. Her education will not help me it was always for her. She had to want it. She is now 36 years old with one beautiful daughter who is every bit the smart child she was. I will push her and help her as much as I can. But I won't do it for her. My daughter is a CNA like I was and is not living up to her ability. I am sad for her, as long as she is doing well and trying to raise her daughter in a good way I guess I did the best I could. She often states that she should have listened to her mother and grandmother. She is in full regret knowing she could have done so much more. All we can do as parents is support and advise them and PRAY they make a smart choice. I also have a 32 year old son who never wanted anything but to be a farm hand; He is doing very well for him and his family.

So I guess I did ok, they are happy and gave me 4 beautiful grandkids.

Sorry for the babble. I just had to add to it.

Bless and health to all.

Jackie

[sPAM]RE: Re: Getting my son into college

This is just my 2 cents, I have a son who just finished high school in May, well when he was in 9th, 10th, and so on, I kept telling him he needed to keep his grades up to get into college, he is a smart kid but got lazy one year, maybe 10th, anyway he missed getting into college here local by 1 point, now he is doing his first year at Jr. College and has to keep his grades up and be full time then he can transfer into College at semester or next year, I think that now he wishes he would of listen, although he is saving a ton of money by taking these classes at a Jr. College instead of university.

I guess my point is that we some times need to let them deal with their actions or lack of.

My older son is still home and not doing much, he has some mental health issues but I’ve been told I am an enabler, and need to back out of the role, so guess I wasn’t with the 2nd one and he is figuring it out for himself, does this make any sense. I guess don’t make yourself crazy over it, if he wants to go he will make it happen, myself like you was on my own for college too, being one of 6, my parents were just happy when we graduated from high school, college was up to me. I too was moved out living on my own working full time going to night school. So sometimes I think we make life too easy for them J I hope that helps?? Marla

From: Neurosarcoidosis [mailto:Neurosarcoidosis ] On Behalf Of kathy_ceamooreSent: Friday, September 28, 2007 3:13 PMTo: Neurosarcoidosis Subject: Re: Getting my son into college

>> Hello All,> > This is so off topic from what is being discussed in group, but I wanted to find out if anyone else has gone through or is currently going through this. My son is a senior in high school. This kid is BRILLIANT but besides getting good grades, he is not doing anything to actually get into college. To get him to simply give me his choices of schools, was like an act of Congress. I give him tasks to complete with deadlines and he doesn't follow through. Now, I know teenagers can be flaky, so I don't give him too much instruction at once. But GOOD GRIEF this kid hasn't completed anything I have asked him to do. I'm not exaggerating, nothing! I am allowing this kid to seriously stress me out. > > When I graduated from high school, I got myself into college and found my own apartment off campus and got myself a job to pay for it all. I didn't depend on my parents to get anything done for me. Well, as the oldest of five children, my mother had already told me that if I wanted to get into school, I better do it by myself cuz they had no money for me for school and she had to deal with the rest of my siblings (one of whom was in drug rehab at the time).> > Anywhoooo...> > I'm just so angry right now because he missed a deadline to schedule all the prospective college's open house dates and put them on the calendar, so I went and did it. Am I enabling him by doing all the leg work when he doesn't? I don't know. He says he wants to go to college, but Geez...> > If I don't get a response about this, I'm thankful that I at least was able to vent my frustration. Cuz seriously, if I have to deal with his attitude for another millisecond, Imma have to pick up something blunt and rusty and do some damage.> > Naa Koshie> > > "How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of the weak and the strong. Because someday in life you will have been all of these." > > ~ Washington Carver>Dear Naa,Your son sounds like my older brother-He was out of high school for more than three years before he decided to go to colledge. It took him more than four months to decide on a colledge (He choose one close to home) And than when he got in, He flunked out in the first semester. Mabe some people are just chronic underachievers. I hope this is not true of your son and that he will wake up and understand that this could effect the rest of his life. We're Praying for you and for him, Good Luck.