Re: Re: Other Parents!! and a different perspective

June 5, 2004

Jodi,

My absolutely typical (I really hate " normal " as a description) 15 1/2 teenage

boy will still hold my hand in public and came panicing out of the bathroom

yesterday wearing only a towel because there was a spider in the bathtub and he

needed me to take care of it.

He'd die of mortification if his friends or the world at large knew that! I

think it's great that Max is secure enough to turn to you for reassurance when

he needs it . There are plenty of grown men who haven't learned how to ask for

help when they need it. Far from being a baby I think it shows wisdom, maturity

and courage.

Re: Other Parents!! and a different perspective

Pat,

I think you did a wonderful job of handling and the other

woman. I just hate it when strangers, or even friends, think they

have the right to butt in and interfere. It makes me so mad and as

I get older, I get less tolerant of it. But what I do, which is not

so good for me, is then become self-conscious and wonder if I

handled things properly. I get a bit depressed about it instead of

letting it go, as my husband always tells me to do. I'm learning,

though.

Now, from a different side, I have an almost opposite problem with

people who tell me that I don't let Max do enough for himself. They

look at him as a young teen (not many believe he is almost 16) and

that we " baby " him. Oh, if only they knew how far he has come and

how much we have let go. If only they knew that he gives himself a

shot every night, counts out his meds several times a day and

administers them to himself, bandages his own g-j button, manages

his own feeding pump when needed, and makes his own phonecalls to

the psychologist when he wants to talk to her. If only they knew

that if he wants to see a movie and does not have a friend to go

with him, he will go by himself without a care in the world. If

only they knew how a negative comment can send him into an anxiety

attack which can cause a week of vomiting, so we carefully step in

when we know he needs the support. And if my son wants to hold my

hand in a crowd or for a quick reassurance, then so be it. It's not

hurting anyone. Who cares?

Why can't people just mind their own business???!!!! We'd all be

better off.

Jodi Z.

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