Re: OT Tori - was New here~ pregnant and just diagnosed..

[Guest guest]

>>>While I agree with you that the main thing is having a safe, healthy baby

I

really do think that it matters how they get into our lives. I think birth

can be a profoundly empowering experience that brings couples closer and

strengthens their confidence in their inherent ability to parent their child

An unfullfilling birth experience can undermine that confidence. I think

women should be in control of the birth and not made to feel like helpless

bystanders, whether they choose to birth in a hospital, birth center, or at

home.<<<<

Hi Tori, I hope you get your birthing center! But know that Evergreen is a

wonderful place to have a baby too if that is where it has to happen - the

nurses are so nice and are really into " family friendly births " too - they

will do everything they can to make the dad as involved as possible and to

give the mom all the control she needs.

And no matter the circumstances, your baby's birth will be an amazing and

wonderful experience - and that is coming from someone who's birthing

experience was far from what she expected or wanted - it really will be

amazing whatever happens. But you know what? If it goes exactly as you have

planned, I'll be really surprised (happy for you, but surprised since

babies have a way of letting you know from the beginning that you are no

longer in charge of certain things and for awhile anyway, almost nothing is

going to go as planned

Hang in there, I hope you hear soon!

Pam B.

[Guest guest]

Hi Pam,

I'm really not anti-hospital and I chose Evergreen because it's rated as one

of the top 5 hospitals in which to give birth in the US. I love my doctor

and know that if I do have to have my baby in the hospital, she'll do

everything she can to make it the kind of birth experience I want. But there

are some things about hospitals that I just can't get past. No matter how

nice the rooms look and how kind the nurses are, it's still a hospital. Some

women feel safer in hospitals just in case something goes wrong, but I feel

incredibly uncomfortable in hospitals and start to focus on everything that

can go wrong and feel my body tense. For me, hospitals are places that

people go to die, not where life begins. I know that seems harsh and maybe

even offensive to some, but that's how I feel and it's hard to get past a

life-long fear of hospitals in a few months. Another thing that bothers me

about a hospital birth is not knowing if my doctor will be on-call when I go

into labor. It seems quite odd to me that you spend 9 months building a

relationship with a doctor who may not be the one to show up to the birth.

It's like hiring someone to coach you for the Olympics, training with him for

9 months, then he sends some other guy to coach you for your big game. I

doubt you'd be in top form under such circumstances. That would never happen

in the sports world, how is it acceptible during birth, the most trying and

important time of a woman's life?

I realize that birth is not something that we have the ability to plan. I'm

just trying to be honest with myself about my fears and do what I can to

create a safe and comfortable birth environment. The more comfortable I feel

with the choices my husband and I make, the more I'll be able to handle those

things we cannot control. I have an appt with my OB today and I have a list

of things that either scare me about hospital births or that I feel are

important for my birthing environment. Discussing these things and hearing

her opinion will ease my fears in case I end up with a hospital birth.

Peace,

Tori

In a message dated 5/18/2003 10:27:36 PM Pacific Daylight Time,

PamB@... writes:

> Hi Tori, I hope you get your birthing center! But know that Evergreen is a

> wonderful place to have a baby too if that is where it has to happen - the

> nurses are so nice and are really into " family friendly births " too - they

> will do everything they can to make the dad as involved as possible and to

> give the mom all the control she needs.

>

> And no matter the circumstances, your baby's birth will be an amazing and

> wonderful experience - and that is coming from someone who's birthing

> experience was far from what she expected or wanted - it really will be

> amazing whatever happens. But you know what? If it goes exactly as you have

> planned, I'll be really surprised (happy for you, but surprised since

> babies have a way of letting you know from the beginning that you are no

> longer in charge of certain things and for awhile anyway, almost nothing is

> going to go as planned

>

> Hang in there, I hope you hear soon!

>

> Pam B.

>