Church and the diet

[Guest guest]

I'm so bummed! We've haven't taken back to church since

December, because he had such separation anxiety. He would scream

and cry unconsolably, unless one of his parents stayed with him. I

found myself missing church service nearly every week, and when

's dad stayed with him, I missed sitting in service WITH MY

HUSBAND. Not only that, but would get very aggressive with many

of the kids in sunday school, and had a few actual " rolling on the

ground, pulling hair " fights with another non-verbal boy in his

class. We finally just began switching back and forth, who could go

to church, and who would say home with Ry, or Joe would go to first

service, meet me in the parking lot between services, where we'd

switch cars and he'd take off to the park so that I could attend

2nd service.

Today is the first day of our church's switch to one service, and Joe

had an all-day Austism meeting to attend to, and I was scheduled to

teach the 1-year-olds in Sunday School. Dropped off in the 2-

year old todder class, and he had no problem leaving me, since there

were so many fun toys awaiting. I stressed the importance of his

GF/CF diet, with NO GRAHAM CRACKERS OR CHEERIOS, and left his

favorite fruit snacks as an alternative.

When I picked him up, the teacher informed me that he ate his fruit

snacks, then grabbed some graham crackers from one of the other kids,

ran off and ate them before anyone could get them away from him.

He's been completely GF for over a month, CF for 2.5 months. He

usually didn't even eat graham crackers before he was on the diet,

because he just had no interest.

It's such a struggle to even get him to church, and now when he does

show interest in staying without mom or dad, his diet goes out the

window.

Sorry for the long post.... just frustrated at the graham cracker

incident.

Diane Gallant

mom to , 3.1 ASD

[Guest guest]

I stopped going to all my playgroups for the same reason. I simply

cannot control my son's evironment anywhere outside of my own home.

<<<Sorry>>>>,

> I'm so bummed! We've haven't taken back to church since

> December, because he had such separation anxiety. He would scream

> and cry unconsolably, unless one of his parents stayed with him. I

> found myself missing church service nearly every week, and when

> 's dad stayed with him, I missed sitting in service WITH MY

> HUSBAND. Not only that, but would get very aggressive with

many

> of the kids in sunday school, and had a few actual " rolling on the

> ground, pulling hair " fights with another non-verbal boy in his

> class. We finally just began switching back and forth, who could

go

> to church, and who would say home with Ry, or Joe would go to first

> service, meet me in the parking lot between services, where we'd

> switch cars and he'd take off to the park so that I could

attend

> 2nd service.

>

> Today is the first day of our church's switch to one service, and

Joe

> had an all-day Austism meeting to attend to, and I was scheduled to

> teach the 1-year-olds in Sunday School. Dropped off in the 2-

> year old todder class, and he had no problem leaving me, since

there

> were so many fun toys awaiting. I stressed the importance of his

> GF/CF diet, with NO GRAHAM CRACKERS OR CHEERIOS, and left his

> favorite fruit snacks as an alternative.

>

> When I picked him up, the teacher informed me that he ate his fruit

> snacks, then grabbed some graham crackers from one of the other

kids,

> ran off and ate them before anyone could get them away from him.

> He's been completely GF for over a month, CF for 2.5 months. He

> usually didn't even eat graham crackers before he was on the diet,

> because he just had no interest.

>

> It's such a struggle to even get him to church, and now when he

does

> show interest in staying without mom or dad, his diet goes out the

> window.

>

> Sorry for the long post.... just frustrated at the graham cracker

> incident.

>

> Diane Gallant

> mom to , 3.1 ASD

[Guest guest]

> We have just come to the point that we just don't go

> anywhere with .

Just yesterday we went to Chilis and I was

> reminded of why we don't take anywhere. He

> screamed constantly, cried, took off his shoes, threw

> his food, etc. We got the worst look from the people

> at the table beside us, and my husband almost lost it

> and started yelling at them. >

You know what? I really DO NOT GIVE A " BIP-BIP " ABOUT WHAT

PEOPLE MAY OR MAY NOT THINK if I take my son out and he doesn't

behave like a <good normal child>. I usually just stare back at them

when they stare at us.

But I AGREE WITH YOU 100% that we are only able to control our

children eating in our own homes. That is sad but true. But in a few

years, when the illness is going to either really show for what and

how it is, or your child will have recovered, it will not matter

anymore as much. And if he doesn't recover people will " see " that

your child is different because children do certain things at certain

ages...Unluckily, autism is an illness that has no external sign

unlike, for example down syndrome. So your child " looks normal " but

acts weird...at about age five or so, it will show that he is not

a " regular " child and other people will stop stare.

I use sign language with my son, though he's non verbal and I

wonder if he even understands what I sign to him-othen than " no stop

that " -. But I found it very helpful: people will somehow think that

if he can't hear maybe he's got other problems too, and they usually

look the other way.

[Guest guest]

> We have just come to the point that we just don't go

> anywhere with .

Just yesterday we went to Chilis and I was

> reminded of why we don't take anywhere. He

> screamed constantly, cried, took off his shoes, threw

> his food, etc. We got the worst look from the people

> at the table beside us, and my husband almost lost it

> and started yelling at them. >

You know what? I really DO NOT GIVE A " BIP-BIP " ABOUT WHAT

PEOPLE MAY OR MAY NOT THINK if I take my son out and he doesn't

behave like a <good normal child>. I usually just stare back at them

when they stare at us.

But I AGREE WITH YOU 100% that we are only able to control our

children eating in our own homes. That is sad but true. But in a few

years, when the illness is going to either really show for what and

how it is, or your child will have recovered, it will not matter

anymore as much. And if he doesn't recover people will " see " that

your child is different because children do certain things at certain

ages...Unluckily, autism is an illness that has no external sign

unlike, for example down syndrome. So your child " looks normal " but

acts weird...and you are <a bad parent>. BUT YOU ARE NOT!!!

At about age five or so, it will show that he is not a " regular "

child and other people will stop stare.

I use sign language with my son, though he's non verbal, and I

wonder if he even understands what I sign to him-other than " no! stop

that " -. But I found it very helpful: people will somehow think that

if he can't hear maybe he's got other problems too, and they usually

look the other way.

This works for me...so far; AND YES I AS WELL GAVE UP CHURCH

LONG TIME AGO when was about 6 months old. Maybe I was already

sensoring that he didn't like crowded places, who knows?

Anyway, BEST OF LUCK, AND USE YOUR JUDGEMENT, BECAUSE, YOU ARE

THE PARENT AND ONLY YOU KNOW WHAT'S BEST FOR YOUR CHILD. No one else

will. Never mind the other people!

Cristina-WA

[Guest guest]

> > We have just come to the point that we just don't go

> > anywhere with .

Thank you to everyone who responded. I guess I just needed to vent,

but it's also so frustrating trying to juggle what was our " normal

life " before we ever heard of the BIG A, and the life that has taken

over since.

After my earlier post re: church, was in great spirits, and I

decided to give the movies a try. His dad was still away at the all-

day Autism meeting, and his 16-yr-old step brother was up for

giving " Shrek " a try. It actually was quite fun, and we arrived

early enough to be able to find perfect seats in the first row behind

the divider wall, so that Ry could stand up, and lean over or hold

onto the wall when he wanted to, without bothering people in front of

us (since there were none). This was our first movie with in a

theater since Toy Story 2.

He actually made it through 2/3 of the movie, clapping through some

parts, laughing hysterically where all could hear, but he was having

a blast. When he tired of the film, beginnings of a melt-down

ensued, and I spent the last 45 minutes of the movie in the lobby,

while he " played " video games. (he hasn't yet figured out that they

can be more interesting if you put money into the slot -- just likes

to watch the moving pictures and blinking lights, which is fine by

me.)

Anyway, at one point he did have a major meltdown, when I was trying

to keep him away from the escaltor inside the lobby. He flung

himself on the floor, kicked, screamed, reached up to grab a huge

handful of my hair..... you get the picture. A couple close by

walked right up to us, and the man said " It's about time that you got

control of that boy. "

YIIIIIIKKKKKKKKEEEEEEES! Have heard of people approaching parents,

not understanding the first thing about what was going on, but this

was the first time I was actually approached about it. I had been so

jazzed that did extremely well for more than half of the movie,

that his tantrum didn't even phase me. Of course I didn't ignore it,

but just ensured that he was away from glass, on the floor, and could

no longer reach my hair. No potential harm to himself or others. We

were fine.

All I could say was, " This is not about controlling him....he has

Autism. If you are an expert with Autism, I would very much

appreciate your help, because we can use all the help we can get. If

you aren't, I suggest you learn more about it before passing

judgement in the future. " The man left in a hurry.

I can just imagine the subsequent discussion between the couple,

about keeping children home if they have such behavior problems.

Well we do most of the time. We're couch potatoes most evenings, are

lucky if we have one date night every-other-month, and haven't eaten

in a real restaurant with for at least 18 months. But I refuse

to lock him in a cage and keep him away from public eyes.

Guess it must have been that graham cracker at church afterall ......

Diane Gallant

mom to , 3.1 ASD, and worth every bit of the fight we have in us

(BTW, there was a different couple sitting in the next row, where the

man was watching before the movie started. was being

difficult, and had begun to cry loudly and hit me, which I was able

to stop fairly quickly. I promised the man that I would take

out of the theater if he did that during the movie, but that he was

only fussy waiting for the movie to start. This man and his wife

were very friendly, and actually smiled over at us several times

during the movie at 's squeals of delight or clapping during

appropriate times during the movie. Not everyone is insensitive to

our kids' plight!)

[Guest guest]

I just got back from my in-laws and my youngest got a hold of cookies, and

cheesies. Now, he has diarrhea.

I don't know of a way to keep everything away from him when not at home.

I'm frustrated!

Lolita

>I stopped going to all my playgroups for the same reason. I simply

>cannot control my son's evironment anywhere outside of my own home.

[Guest guest]

Hi there! We have struggled with the same thing. Right now it seems to be

working and I'll tell you how. We take Rice Crackers, bananas or mini

muffins I've made (all gfcf of course) and tell the nursery workers that

ours is the only food the girls can have. We bring enough for all the kids

to have, and that way no other snacks are offered. Of course, the nursery

workers love it and the other parents too...no one but us brings snacks

anymore. It is expensive but worth it. I find I REALLY need that time at

church right now. The rest of the week I'm stuck here at home while she

has ABA therapy. Plus she is finally (at 3 1/2 yrs) willing to be left in

the nursery! In the fall I'm going to pay a couple of her ABA tutors to go

with her to Sunday school a few times until she can be left there on her

own. Right now she is still in the nursery with her 2 yr. old sister and

babies. Everyone knows about her autism (actually PDD) so are supportive.

Hugs, H

Email if you have other questions about it.

[Guest guest]

About the movie incident...I think you handled it so well! I've almost

wanted someone to say something to me (instead of all the nasty looks I get)

so I could " vent " at them a little. But none has had the nerve yet....just

nasty looks. Thanks for setting them straight for all of us, LOL!

Hugs, H

[Guest guest]

Hi

When my DD started Sunday School, the teacher would only bring stuff for

snacks that she could eat. She called and asked before classes started what

things she could bring, since she didn't want DD eating something different

and taking food from the other kids.

Margaret

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 6/18/01 9:22:41 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

laura_j_Luster@... writes:

> Eat it when we are not there. It is cruel to eat

> stuff like this in front of him. He is too young to understand why

> he can't have it, so don't do it. blah blah blah blah blah. Even

> after all of this, my SIL was wanting to feed him from her plate, at

> OUR house, only just last night. Family simply don't get it.

> Friends get it less.

>

>

>

,

There are many of us who have the same struggles. I have a MIL who refused

to change her Christmas dinner from lasagna to roast beef or turkey. Now, I

know I should expect everyone to accommodate my son, but his own grandmother

told me to just " shove the highchair! in the corner and bring some of his

food for him " - my son was 2.5 at the time and did not sit in a high chair,

lasagna used to be his favorite food, and HE IS A PERSON. So and I

stayed home and my husband took our other two children there. This woman

cares more about serving the food she wants to serve than about her own

grandson. There are many more stories, but that one illustrates my point.

Sadly, our children help us realize who really cares and who doesn't.

Happily, most of my friends are more than happy to accommodate us, even to

the point of purchasing special snacks when we come to visit. They call me

ahead of time and ask what they can serve that can have. If you can,

try to seek out those types of people in your life and limit your exposure to

the ones who can't or won't understand.

M

[Guest guest]

Whenever we are in public, I follow him around like a puppy dog. At

a park, if he sees something he wants, he'll pick it up off the

ground. I am going to get him a med-elert bracelet and place a

sticker on him that says 'Don't feed me, I might go into shock.'

because well-meaning parents hand him things like teddy grahams,

etc. He is so good at begging.

I won't go anymore unless it is just he and I. I have a 1.5 year old

that will run off if ignored, so parks are out for the rest of the

summer unless daddy goes with us.

At the in-laws, I just go into mega-nagging mode - don't feed him,

don't offer to feed him, don't ask me in front of him if he can have

something from your plate - no, no, no. and I will feed him.

Put everything up. Eat it when we are not there. It is cruel to eat

stuff like this in front of him. He is too young to understand why

he can't have it, so don't do it. blah blah blah blah blah. Even

after all of this, my SIL was wanting to feed him from her plate, at

OUR house, only just last night. Family simply don't get it.

Friends get it less.

> I just got back from my in-laws and my youngest got a hold of

cookies, and

> cheesies. Now, he has diarrhea.

>

> I don't know of a way to keep everything away from him when not at

home.

> I'm frustrated!

>

> Lolita

>

>

> >I stopped going to all my playgroups for the same reason. I simply

> >cannot control my son's evironment anywhere outside of my own home.