Re: O.T. Anxiety - hang in there !!!! LONG

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

Although I'm new to the board and new to Graves (if indeed I have it - still

waiting to see my doc and get all the test results next week - talk about

anxiety! LOL) I wanted to send a note of encouragement to you.

Although my own kids are mostly grown, I well remember the stresses of being

a mommie with little ones underfoot. I was a stay-at-home mom and did think

that at times I wasn't going to make it through that stage myself. Hang in there

my dear - this stage does pass and there will come a time when you can look

back on it and remember only the joys.

Now apart from platitudes like that, which I know can seem like cold comfort

at best, let me chime in with a couple of suggestions. Since my hubby was the

only one who worked, I know what life on a shoestring budget is like. First

off - do you have some other mom's who stay home with their kids as friends? If

so, arrange play dates at the park with them. Just getting out of the house

and letting your 7 year old zoom around the play equipment while you sit on a

blanket under a tree with your twins along with some other moms and kids can be

very therapeutic.

If you don't know any mommies at home, try to meet some. Do you have a

library in your town? They almost all have some type of summer reading programs

and

your oldest would enjoy their activities. Plus you would meet other moms

bringing their kids! How about a park and recreation department? They have all

kinds of programs (some of which are free) and if you can possibly scrimp and

squeeze that budget a little tighter, perhaps you could do a class or two. I

know

they offer mommy and me classes for little ones as well.

Check out the local churches in your community. Not trying to proselytize you

by any means, but Sunday schools and nurseries can provide a much needed

break away from the kids, and allow you to have some time for just you and God.

Most churches also offer vacation bible schools during the summer months. They

are usually pretty cheap and any church worth it's salt should be willing to

work with you on the fees if they seem like they are too steep.

You mentioned that you are breast feeding......is there a local Le Leche

League around you? Perhaps that would be a good support group for you right now.

Kudos to you for doing that btw! :-) I breast-fed my 3, although only the

oldest got more than a couple of months....sniff, sniff.....it's such a precious

memory to me now.

You have internet access, so use that google search engine and see what kind

of sites you can find that have cheap ideas for play, projects and

entertainment for your kids. Here's a couple links to get you started:

<A

HREF= " http://familyfun.go.com/crafts/season/feature/famf0602_feat_borebust/ " >Fam\

ilyFun: Summer Boredom Busters</A>

<A HREF= " http://www.all-babynkids.com/r4.htm " >Kids Activities</A>

<A

HREF= " http://www.christian-parent.com/activities.shtml " >Christian-Parent.com:

For Kids</A>

For any supplies these sites have that you don't already have on hand, try

the local thrift stores. My kids used to love going to those places and having a

" treasure hunt " so to speak. :-)

I just recently took up yoga to help me with my anxiety levels. I can't say

that I'm a walking poster child for the stress-free life yet, but the

relaxation techniques and stretching have helped. Could you perhaps work in 15

to 30

minutes sometime during the day for some of that? If it could help me, I'm sure

it works for others too.

Do you have some type of activity that you do for recreation? Do you sew, or

cross-stitch or paint or do something that brings you pleasure? It's important

that you have something for yourself. Let me know if you do cross-stitch or

would like to learn. I have some things I would be glad to send you.

If you have to, use that electronic baby-sitter for some time for yourself.

Don't feel bad about it either. Sure, folks abuse it and you have to keep an

eye on the content, but like so many other technological advances of the 20th

century, I say " Boy, I'm glad I was born now instead of anytime in the past! " I

know I tend to romanticize the past somewhat at times (probably from all the

historical fiction I read) but I know deep down that life was much tougher back

then.

I'm kind of an anal type gal, and used to sweat the load big time over the

state of my house. Just in case you push your own buttons their too, , let

me say that I probably regret that more than a lot of the other things I did.

Let it go......it will all still be there when you feel like getting around to

it. And clutter and such never killed anyone so far as I know. I still repeat

that to myself when I stress over the house. And it's funny, no one but me

ever drove themselves nuts over it! None of my friends or the rest of my family

ever lost any sleep over the state of my house. Hopefully you aren't as anal

as I am.....but I wanted to touch on that just in case. :-)

Now in case I'm mistakenly given the impression that I am so together, and

had it all figured out back then as well as now, let me just say

this....... " HAH!!! " I've got older teens at home that make me want to pull my

hair frequently

(well, maybe not that anymore since it's falling out quite nicely on it's own

now)! I've screwed up and messed up and climbed the walls plenty....still do.

Don't beat yourself up & get all anxious about feeling anxious. Sometimes we

have to just acknowledge that we are feeling those feelings and that helps us

on our way to pass thru them. If you ever need an ear to vent into, just email

me, okay?

I know you'll likely get a ton of helpful advice and encouragement from the

great folks on this list. Take care, and I'll be thinking of you and say a

prayer for you.