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hi all, i need your advice.

my dauighter,32 months started new kindergarden.till now she was with an

opper who did an excellent job of fedding her. in her new place she is with

25 more children.she mannage socially very well with the others but REFUSE

to eat at all. only drinking water...and it is about 6 hours (12 hours

including the night...).

i tried to give the food that she likes,ask them to feed her while she is

playing...but nothing helps. more than that,she ask for mommy when they

offer meals.

i thought to ask the opper to come for few hours to show the team how to

feed her... dont know what to do.. when she comes home she is hungry and

eats .

i feel there is a little bit of stress in the kindergarden cause they cannot

make her eat. shell i ask them to leave her alone for a while?

maybe it will take time .but what if not?

hope all of you well..everywhere!

thank you for any advice,tikva

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Hi Tikva,

Haven't heard from you in a while. I hope all is well.

We faced the same problem when started in kindergarten. The

school suggested a couple of things.

First ( as suggested by the school) we let him alone for a while and

let him get used to his new friends and school. It does take a while.

We also sent snacks of his favorite food, so that if he did get

hungry he could eat. The school let him eat whenever, even if it

wasn't snack time. After a while, when it was clear that he wasn't

going to eat at all, they tried an aide to encourage him to eat. it

was clear pretty quick that the aide was clueless. So what ended up

happening was my wife would go the school ( it was only a block away)

for snack time and feed him his favorite snacks.

During all this we were checking his calories. After a while, my wife

cut back on the days she went to school. He didn't eat on those days

but ate when he came home. Again, we checked how many calories he was

eating. From this we learned, that he was actually eating more by

missing the school snack and eating when he came home.

Please keep in mind that for us, kindergarten was only a half day, 4

days a week.

I hope this helps.

Ken M

:)

> hi all, i need your advice.

> my dauighter,32 months started new kindergarden.till now she was

with an

> opper who did an excellent job of fedding her. in her new place she

is with

> 25 more children.she mannage socially very well with the others

but REFUSE

> to eat at all. only drinking water...and it is about 6 hours (12

hours

> including the night...).

> i tried to give the food that she likes,ask them to feed her while

she is

> playing...but nothing helps. more than that,she ask for mommy when

they

> offer meals.

> i thought to ask the opper to come for few hours to show the team

how to

> feed her... dont know what to do.. when she comes home she is

hungry and

> eats .

> i feel there is a little bit of stress in the kindergarden cause

they cannot

> make her eat. shell i ask them to leave her alone for a while?

>

> maybe it will take time .but what if not?

>

> hope all of you well..everywhere!

>

> thank you for any advice,tikva

>

> _________________________________________________________________

> The new MSN 8: advanced junk mail protection and 2 months FREE*

> http://join.msn.com/?page=features/junkmail

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Share on other sites

Tikva

I'm not sure what an opper is. I'm assuming it was some form of preschool

day care? Were there other children present when she was with the opper?

I'm wondering if you can go in and feed her. It's too long to go without

eating, but I would hazard a guess that she is not use to the action of the

other 25 kids and she is so excited watching them, playing that she is just

not eating.

I have heard that some RSS children do not recognize that feeling of hunger.

I remember a few years ago one mom explaining that her baby never cried as

an infant because he never " felt " hungry.

She has to eat.

Here are some suggestions you might try........

1. if you can go in and have her sit with you and eat.

2. if the opper can go....do that but if it's you or the opper make sure one

of the kindergarten staff is right there too (so that your daughter can

begin to associate eating with this new person)

3. if you can't do 1 or 2; can someone take her out of the room somewhere

quiet and not so distracting to have a quick snack? Even if she went out and

ate something small (that only took maybe 3 minutes to eat) and she went out

every 1/2 hour or so........that would help.

4. Is it possible for the kindergarten to leave some food on a table for her

and she may just wander over in a quiet moment on her own and take a bite? I

know that sounds impossible (as a teacher it would be hard) because the

other kids will want to eat her food........but if it was handled well, a

special table where your daughter has some food sitting out and she goes

over on her own? that might work

Ultimately you want her to eat when the other kids do and RSS kids have to

even eat more often than that.

Does the kindergarten have any suggestions?

The one thing you must tell the kindergarten.......is for them to NOT make

this a big deal. If the staff are following your daughter around all day

saying 'you have to eat' she will never eat because she will love that

attention more. The best thing to do is to have them stop asking her and try

some of the above strategies.

Good luck and let us know if you figure something out that works.

Debby

eating in kindergarden

> hi all, i need your advice.

> my dauighter,32 months started new kindergarden.till now she was with an

> opper who did an excellent job of fedding her. in her new place she is

with

> 25 more children.she mannage socially very well with the others but

REFUSE

> to eat at all. only drinking water...and it is about 6 hours (12 hours

> including the night...).

> i tried to give the food that she likes,ask them to feed her while she is

> playing...but nothing helps. more than that,she ask for mommy when they

> offer meals.

> i thought to ask the opper to come for few hours to show the team how to

> feed her... dont know what to do.. when she comes home she is hungry and

> eats .

> i feel there is a little bit of stress in the kindergarden cause they

cannot

> make her eat. shell i ask them to leave her alone for a while?

>

> maybe it will take time .but what if not?

>

> hope all of you well..everywhere!

>

> thank you for any advice,tikva

>

> _________________________________________________________________

> The new MSN 8: advanced junk mail protection and 2 months FREE*

> http://join.msn.com/?page=features/junkmail

>

>

>

>

>

>

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In my son's Kindergarden class the whole class has little snacks

different times of the day so nobody notices that Connor is having a

snack. And they are so funny because I usually send in 5 or six

crackers or something and the class makes sure Connor eats them all.

They will all tattle if he tries to throw them away or give his

snacks away.

Maybe your childs teacher will also go along with this idea. It

works for us.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Hi,

It was funny to read this, because our Victor (4 in December) just

started Kindergarten in August. He used to be with a " child-minder "

(according to my dictionary). She takes care of 4-5 children at

home, which makes it quite quiet during the meals. She gave him puré

for 5-months babies, with extra fat, kethup and so on, and he was

the fastest of them all to empty the plate. But it took him some

time to get used to this too, in the beginning.

We use the mixer at home to make a puré of the dinner, it's the

smoothest way to feed him (I am feeding him and reading a book, is

he spoilt?).

But when starting Kindergarten, in a group with 4-5-year-old kids,

we decided it's time to get him used from the beginning to eat the

food that is served there.

We have spent much time in planning how to introduce this to him and

have informed all we could think of that has influence on the food

and feeding at the Kindergarten. The cook makes puré of meat, fish

or anything she thinks will be hard for him to chew.

Socially he gets well along with his new friends and he finds it

great to be at the Kindergarten. The staff is great there.

But during the meals, he spends much time in observing the other

children, and less time in eating himself. The first week, he ate

almost nothing. Then he started eating the potato puré(with extra

butter and MaxiJul), pasta or rice, and sometimes sausage. The last

week, he even had a sandwhich in the afternoon, and one at breakfast

(he rarely eats breakfast at home). This last week, he has also

tried meatballs, chicken with curry sauce and other things he

usually doesn't want to try. He is served the nourishment drinks,

that we provide for, but he doesn't drink much of that there.

He eats more in the evenings and especially at nights than he did

before, and so far, we feel comfort with that he gets what he needs.

No weight loss so far. I think, all we can do is give him time to

get used to the food and the new enviroment, and don't pick on him

too much: " You have to eat " . This was also the advice we got from

his logoped.

One thing I have learned the last 3 years is that the more nervous I

am and the more I try to make him eat, the more he refuses. If I

trust him to decide when he is hungry and when the food tastes good,

he tends to eat more, and sometimes even with the wonderful " Mmmmm "

when eating.

But I must admit, we had lots of worries the first weeks, " For how

long can we let this go on? " , " What alternatives are there? " .

I hope you will find ways to solve this, Tikva.

/Camilla

> > hi all, i need your advice.

> > my dauighter,32 months started new kindergarden.till now she was

> with an

> > opper who did an excellent job of fedding her. in her new place

she

> is with

> > 25 more children.she mannage socially very well with the others

> but REFUSE

> > to eat at all. only drinking water...and it is about 6 hours (12

> hours

> > including the night...).

> > i tried to give the food that she likes,ask them to feed her

while

> she is

> > playing...but nothing helps. more than that,she ask for mommy

when

> they

> > offer meals.

> > i thought to ask the opper to come for few hours to show the

team

> how to

> > feed her... dont know what to do.. when she comes home she is

> hungry and

> > eats .

> > i feel there is a little bit of stress in the kindergarden cause

> they cannot

> > make her eat. shell i ask them to leave her alone for a while?

> >

> > maybe it will take time .but what if not?

> >

> > hope all of you well..everywhere!

> >

> > thank you for any advice,tikva

> >

> > _________________________________________________________________

> > The new MSN 8: advanced junk mail protection and 2 months FREE*

> > http://join.msn.com/?page=features/junkmail

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Share on other sites

Hi,

It was funny to read this, because our Victor (4 in December) just

started Kindergarten in August. He used to be with a " child-minder "

(according to my dictionary). She takes care of 4-5 children at

home, which makes it quite quiet during the meals. She gave him puré

for 5-months babies, with extra fat, kethup and so on, and he was

the fastest of them all to empty the plate. But it took him some

time to get used to this too, in the beginning.

We use the mixer at home to make a puré of the dinner, it's the

smoothest way to feed him (I am feeding him and reading a book, is

he spoilt?).

But when starting Kindergarten, in a group with 4-5-year-old kids,

we decided it's time to get him used from the beginning to eat the

food that is served there.

We have spent much time in planning how to introduce this to him and

have informed all we could think of that has influence on the food

and feeding at the Kindergarten. The cook makes puré of meat, fish

or anything she thinks will be hard for him to chew.

Socially he gets well along with his new friends and he finds it

great to be at the Kindergarten. The staff is great there.

But during the meals, he spends much time in observing the other

children, and less time in eating himself. The first week, he ate

almost nothing. Then he started eating the potato puré(with extra

butter and MaxiJul), pasta or rice, and sometimes sausage. The last

week, he even had a sandwhich in the afternoon, and one at breakfast

(he rarely eats breakfast at home). This last week, he has also

tried meatballs, chicken with curry sauce and other things he

usually doesn't want to try. He is served the nourishment drinks,

that we provide for, but he doesn't drink much of that there.

He eats more in the evenings and especially at nights than he did

before, and so far, we feel comfort with that he gets what he needs.

No weight loss so far. I think, all we can do is give him time to

get used to the food and the new enviroment, and don't pick on him

too much: " You have to eat " . This was also the advice we got from

his logoped.

One thing I have learned the last 3 years is that the more nervous I

am and the more I try to make him eat, the more he refuses. If I

trust him to decide when he is hungry and when the food tastes good,

he tends to eat more, and sometimes even with the wonderful " Mmmmm "

when eating.

But I must admit, we had lots of worries the first weeks, " For how

long can we let this go on? " , " What alternatives are there? " .

I hope you will find ways to solve this, Tikva.

/Camilla

> > hi all, i need your advice.

> > my dauighter,32 months started new kindergarden.till now she was

> with an

> > opper who did an excellent job of fedding her. in her new place

she

> is with

> > 25 more children.she mannage socially very well with the others

> but REFUSE

> > to eat at all. only drinking water...and it is about 6 hours (12

> hours

> > including the night...).

> > i tried to give the food that she likes,ask them to feed her

while

> she is

> > playing...but nothing helps. more than that,she ask for mommy

when

> they

> > offer meals.

> > i thought to ask the opper to come for few hours to show the

team

> how to

> > feed her... dont know what to do.. when she comes home she is

> hungry and

> > eats .

> > i feel there is a little bit of stress in the kindergarden cause

> they cannot

> > make her eat. shell i ask them to leave her alone for a while?

> >

> > maybe it will take time .but what if not?

> >

> > hope all of you well..everywhere!

> >

> > thank you for any advice,tikva

> >

> > _________________________________________________________________

> > The new MSN 8: advanced junk mail protection and 2 months FREE*

> > http://join.msn.com/?page=features/junkmail

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Camilla,

thank you for telling me about victor.you right , when we are nerves they

refuse more to eat. so i work on myself and ask the stuff in the

kindergarden to do so ... but it is almost one month... and she lost 0.5

kilo (1.1 pound) !.. and now the question is how far i will let it go?

anyway Mai is sick now with a flew so she is at home for few days...i hope

when she will come back to the kinder they will realise how it is important

to pay attention in feeding her..

tikva

om: " pocarvidsson "

>Reply-To: RSS-Support

>To: RSS-Support

>Subject: Re: eating in kindergarden

>Date: Mon, 27 Sep 2004 20:52:43 -0000

>

>Hi,

>It was funny to read this, because our Victor (4 in December) just

>started Kindergarten in August. He used to be with a " child-minder "

>(according to my dictionary). She takes care of 4-5 children at

>home, which makes it quite quiet during the meals. She gave him puré

>for 5-months babies, with extra fat, kethup and so on, and he was

>the fastest of them all to empty the plate. But it took him some

>time to get used to this too, in the beginning.

>We use the mixer at home to make a puré of the dinner, it's the

>smoothest way to feed him (I am feeding him and reading a book, is

>he spoilt?).

>But when starting Kindergarten, in a group with 4-5-year-old kids,

>we decided it's time to get him used from the beginning to eat the

>food that is served there.

>We have spent much time in planning how to introduce this to him and

>have informed all we could think of that has influence on the food

>and feeding at the Kindergarten. The cook makes puré of meat, fish

>or anything she thinks will be hard for him to chew.

>

>Socially he gets well along with his new friends and he finds it

>great to be at the Kindergarten. The staff is great there.

>But during the meals, he spends much time in observing the other

>children, and less time in eating himself. The first week, he ate

>almost nothing. Then he started eating the potato puré(with extra

>butter and MaxiJul), pasta or rice, and sometimes sausage. The last

>week, he even had a sandwhich in the afternoon, and one at breakfast

>(he rarely eats breakfast at home). This last week, he has also

>tried meatballs, chicken with curry sauce and other things he

>usually doesn't want to try. He is served the nourishment drinks,

>that we provide for, but he doesn't drink much of that there.

>

>He eats more in the evenings and especially at nights than he did

>before, and so far, we feel comfort with that he gets what he needs.

>No weight loss so far. I think, all we can do is give him time to

>get used to the food and the new enviroment, and don't pick on him

>too much: " You have to eat " . This was also the advice we got from

>his logoped.

>One thing I have learned the last 3 years is that the more nervous I

>am and the more I try to make him eat, the more he refuses. If I

>trust him to decide when he is hungry and when the food tastes good,

>he tends to eat more, and sometimes even with the wonderful " Mmmmm "

>when eating.

>

>But I must admit, we had lots of worries the first weeks, " For how

>long can we let this go on? " , " What alternatives are there? " .

>

> I hope you will find ways to solve this, Tikva.

>

>/Camilla

>

>

> > > hi all, i need your advice.

> > > my dauighter,32 months started new kindergarden.till now she was

> > with an

> > > opper who did an excellent job of fedding her. in her new place

>she

> > is with

> > > 25 more children.she mannage socially very well with the others

> > but REFUSE

> > > to eat at all. only drinking water...and it is about 6 hours (12

> > hours

> > > including the night...).

> > > i tried to give the food that she likes,ask them to feed her

>while

> > she is

> > > playing...but nothing helps. more than that,she ask for mommy

>when

> > they

> > > offer meals.

> > > i thought to ask the opper to come for few hours to show the

>team

> > how to

> > > feed her... dont know what to do.. when she comes home she is

> > hungry and

> > > eats .

> > > i feel there is a little bit of stress in the kindergarden cause

> > they cannot

> > > make her eat. shell i ask them to leave her alone for a while?

> > >

> > > maybe it will take time .but what if not?

> > >

> > > hope all of you well..everywhere!

> > >

> > > thank you for any advice,tikva

> > >

> > > _________________________________________________________________

> > > The new MSN 8: advanced junk mail protection and 2 months FREE*

> > > http://join.msn.com/?page=features/junkmail

>

_________________________________________________________________

Help STOP SPAM with the new MSN 8 and get 2 months FREE*

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