Fw: Family Post 1

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> Graves Letters Post 1

>

> I'm posting this here from another board for the new people who still

don't

> understand about this disease and are afraid or had thought they were

crazy

> ... or told " it's all in your head " . In January of this year (almost 4

years

> after diagnosis) I hit rock bottom and somehow found myself on the

computer

> looking up this disease. On the day I found my first GD board I spent

hours

> and hours just reading and crying, relieved to know I wasn't alone

anymore,

> that others had experienced some of the worst sides to this disease and

KNEW

> what I was going through and could understand. This post here and the next

> one I am sending are the 2 I printed up and made my husband and kids

> read...it helped more than anyone could know to make a difference in

myself

> and my family once they too began to understand.

>

> I do want to note that this person had chosen RAI for treatment, same as I

> did...that RAI is a PERMANENT option, once done, there is no going back

and

> trying to obtain remission or using any other treatment. Since I have been

> the RAI route (rushed into it without first learning about this

> disease...all treatments etc.) I just want to say that this is NOT a

*quick*

> fix for GD, there are repercussions down the road using this treatment as

> the first step, and the permanent step.

>

> In this post, some of the symptoms may seem extreme, I have experienced

many

> of them myself...after RAI and I was left to go hypo ( " because hypo is

> easier to treat " ...NOT) there are a whole set of other symptoms. There is

no

> set pattern of symptoms, not everyone will experience all of these.

>

> I hope that these two posts will help others newly diagnosed the way they

> helped me.

> Jody

>

> Post # 1

>

> What you have described been there, and the worst is that I remember being

> there, in hell. It seems I have suffered with this since I was a teenager,

> but my parents who both have thyroid problems didn't notice it in me. I am

> 39 years old and feel sometimes like 60. My severe moments started in

9/98.

> I started to throw up and wouldn't stop, I kept loosing weight and could

> not control bladder or other side movement. Ended up wearing adult diapers

> so I don't have an accident. Could not work for 6 months and then lost the

> job I had because they said my sort term disability expired and I was too

> embarassed to go on long term disability. My hair was falling out and

fast,

> even my eyebrows and eye lashes were beginning to thin out fast. My pubic

> area was experiencing the same, as well as my arms and legs. My vision was

> changing fast. I didn't know but I got blurred vision at first then double

> vision. That was fun! On the lighter side of this, I was able to see money

> on the street, contact lenses on the floor, every spec of dirt, twice and

> even found jewelry walking one day, that no one else could see, but I

could

> cause I saw it twice. On the heavier and more dangerous side was that

> driving was becoming a hit-or-miss. Trying to place a cookie sheet in the

> oven, I had to close one eye and try to center the objective. My eyes were

> dry and crusty, never slept for more than 3 hrs at a time and then I was

> sleeping 18 hours a day and still felt totally wiped out. Could not get

off

> the couch or bed, could not take care of my 3 year old, or my 10 year old

or

> my 13

> year old. I had no interest in sex, fun, laughing, the only thing was

> crying. I could not eat without choking, I could not stop my heart from

> racing, my pulse was so high that I though a freight train was going by. I

> was having 12-18 bowl movements a day. I was having panic and anxiety

> attacks, I considered suicide, but didn't know why? I was very depressed,

I

> dropped out of evening classes because I could not stay awake. Nothing I

ate

> had any flavor to it, then the worst started to occur, I was loosing my

> memory. I could not remember where I was going, who I was, I had to start

> writing notes as to what I am suppose to do every minute of the day. I had

> to write directions to my doctors office and read them as I was driving.

>

> I was experiencing severely heavy periods, leg and muscle cramps, shaking,

> back aches, and my speech was now becoming slurred. My for a 37 year old,

I

> was falling apart. Nobody knew what to do to make me feel better, I could

> not stand noise, I didn't want quiet, I didn't want lights, but didn't

want

> dark. There was nothing anyone could do to make me feel better or worse.

>

> The other thing was occurring simultaneously is I was getting gray very

> fast. I had never had gray hair, and within 2 week period, I was looking

> like I was in my late 50's. It was like watching my life go past my eyes

and

> mirror fast and furry. It was like watching Tim in the movie the

Santa

> Clause. It scared me, and everything I did or everywhere I went, I felt

that

> this was my last moments. I know this was not right, but didn't know how

to

> help myself, until one day, this person who I knew was a type A

individual,

> very aggressive, very intelligent, very outgoing, very flexible and very

> confident was not the person I saw in the mirror and did not like it. My

> road to recovery was to start with the RAI. After 3 months of having RAI,

I

> was beginning to see some changes but not fast enough. I push myself a lot

> to the extreme and now I couldn't even get myself going.

>

> I started by looking at old pictures and memorizing faces, names,

> birthdates, addresses and other information of family members I forgot. I

> started to memorize phone numbers, directions, and sports trivia. I

started

> to use a day timer again and organize my life and

> thoughts. I got a new job that I love and respect and they respect me. I

> love my husband more today than yesterday and I know I need him forever as

> well as my children. I started doing things with them again. Not fast, but

> slowly, went to their sports practices. During my recoup time, I kept my 3

> year old at home from day care and she was my angel. She would get up in

the

> am and bring me juice and turn on the t.v. so I can watch cartoons to make

> me feel better. She use to bring me a wash cloth for when I got my hot

> flashes, my older children took it upon themselves to clean, wash and cook

> while I was held in GD purgatory. My husband loved me every second and

tried

> so hard to make me forget my condition and kept telling me how much he

loved

> me and it will be ok. When I felt good, even for a few minutes, I let them

> know and we did something together.

>

> I gained a lot of weight from going hypo, and now I am hoping that I can

> start loosing. Last night I returned to school, I have 6 classes left

before

> I finish my Bachelors degree in Int'l Business Management and it was

> wonderful. The greatest feeling I got was that I took notes and remembered

> the lecture and told my family about it.

>

> I have rambled on enough, but I can't help thinking that I am a better

> person and kinder person, then I was before GD. I thank my god for his

> patience with me and thank my family for being there. I know it's hard and

> it seems impossible to concur, but we are warriors and we don't give up,

> just like GD doesn't give up. Keep smiling everyone and have a good and

> healthy weekend. It is wonderful to be able to share with so many of you

my

> experiences that others could not understand, thanks so much to the people

> who put in so much work on this site and everything that they are doing to

> bring more awareness, God Bless you.