Guest guest Posted August 26, 2004 Report Share Posted August 26, 2004 I am starting to be concerned with Jake being portrayed as the " baby " when he is with his friends. He is 4 1/2 years old. He loves to play " baby " and get wrapped in a blanket and drink from his baby bottle, especially when his " girl " friends are over. They love to take care of him and he just loves to be taken care of. He doesn't normally do this with his male friends, but they also seem to be less interested in playing " boy " things with him (soccer, running, racing) simply because they know he can't keep up. So, Jake seems to gravitate to his younger buddies because he physically more like them. Any suggestions on how to curb this. It is starting to break my heart because I don't want him to be left out once he starts kindergarten next year. I also don't know how to stop having him percieved as the " baby doll " .....it doesn't help that he just loves it!!!!! Alison Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 26, 2004 Report Share Posted August 26, 2004 Interesting that he likes it! also always had to play the baby part " before GH " , and she didn't seem to dislike it either. However, once she really grew, she told me that " now that I am taller I don't always have to play the baby. " And last night, when she was writing this letter for a fundraiser, she wrote about that memory, of when she was small and her friends always picked her up and when they played family, she always had to play the baby. If they are playing at your house, maybe you can quietly interject that " maybe someone else can play tbe baby this time, and he can play the daddy or the mommy or the brother. " ( I say mommy because I am learning that at young ages, these kids switch roles sometimes). Jenn > I am starting to be concerned with Jake being portrayed as the " baby " > when he is with his friends. He is 4 1/2 years old. He loves to play > " baby " and get wrapped in a blanket and drink from his baby bottle, > especially when his " girl " friends are over. They love to take care > of him and he just loves to be taken care of. He doesn't normally do > this with his male friends, but they also seem to be less interested > in playing " boy " things with him (soccer, running, racing) simply > because they know he can't keep up. So, Jake seems to gravitate to > his younger buddies because he physically more like them. > > Any suggestions on how to curb this. It is starting to break my heart > because I don't want him to be left out once he starts kindergarten > next year. I also don't know how to stop having him percieved as the > " baby doll " .....it doesn't help that he just loves it!!!!! > > Alison Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 26, 2004 Report Share Posted August 26, 2004 Interesting that he likes it! also always had to play the baby part " before GH " , and she didn't seem to dislike it either. However, once she really grew, she told me that " now that I am taller I don't always have to play the baby. " And last night, when she was writing this letter for a fundraiser, she wrote about that memory, of when she was small and her friends always picked her up and when they played family, she always had to play the baby. If they are playing at your house, maybe you can quietly interject that " maybe someone else can play tbe baby this time, and he can play the daddy or the mommy or the brother. " ( I say mommy because I am learning that at young ages, these kids switch roles sometimes). Jenn > I am starting to be concerned with Jake being portrayed as the " baby " > when he is with his friends. He is 4 1/2 years old. He loves to play > " baby " and get wrapped in a blanket and drink from his baby bottle, > especially when his " girl " friends are over. They love to take care > of him and he just loves to be taken care of. He doesn't normally do > this with his male friends, but they also seem to be less interested > in playing " boy " things with him (soccer, running, racing) simply > because they know he can't keep up. So, Jake seems to gravitate to > his younger buddies because he physically more like them. > > Any suggestions on how to curb this. It is starting to break my heart > because I don't want him to be left out once he starts kindergarten > next year. I also don't know how to stop having him percieved as the > " baby doll " .....it doesn't help that he just loves it!!!!! > > Alison Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 26, 2004 Report Share Posted August 26, 2004 Alison Adam had similar problems in kindergarten. I don't remember him always acting the baby but I'm sure he was often assigned that role. There were always so many other things going on that I never got around to figuring out a way to solve having others treat him like a baby and well, one day it just stopped. The kids move on. One thing I wanted to share was that I have noticed with Adam (he'll be 12 in Oct.) is that he too gravitates to younger kids to play with. On our street there are only younger boys but at school his buddies have been in a younger grade. I have noticed from watching what goes on on our street (there is one younger boy on our street that Adam never plays with.........but he's into sports only). I realized that the kids Adam chooses to hang out with are more creative and use their imagination. Adam can spend all day with this one boy and they imagine dueling (a la Yu-Gi-Oh) and running around imagining big elaborate situations. I guess I clued into this because when I was a kid I was always outside from first light until dark but I could either play with others or not, it never bothered me because I was always making up these fantastic adventures in my mind (I use to think I was Wonder Woman LOL). I've watched Adam and he is exactly like that. So.........do you think your son is more inclined to play with the girls because that is the way girls tend to be? They are more into imagination play and pretend. Right now they are of the age to play house and he can only have 2 roles.........dad or baby. What would happen if you watched a bit more closely and tried to figure out what the kids are imagining and then gently re direct Jake into a role that might be more age appropriate? Something that wouldn't upset the girls? I don't know, depending on what they are doing you could say " hey guys........why doesn't Jake play the father? And I'll give you an old hat, a tie, and some car keys and you can come home from work? " (I know that sounds really sexist, I'm just thinking off the top of my head, but handing him some cool props would be key to making it work). As far as school goes, again this is where what I noticed all seemed to fit. The boys my son did make friends with were the ones who brought Pokemon cards to school or game boys. I tried to teach him to play basketball or this tennis throwing game that is popular (catch it in your baseball cap); he enjoyed it but it didn't hold his attention for long. Not like these cards and the game boy. I was just devastated when the school banned all the cards etc. It really left him in the lurch. Adam can spend hours playing with figurines (super heros, even stupid plastic cows from some old set or other, he will imagine it to be something else). I try to reinforce this with him, and try to get him to use that imagination in his story telling/writing for school as something he " is good at " . Just thinking out loud. But for Jake, you might watch and see if you see what I have mentioned in him and then you can set up age appropriate situations for him (like let him take cards to school to trade or show off or whatever). Just watch and see if you can find what will work and then set it up so he has the same stuff (I always figured it was WELL worth the money). Sorry for the long answer. Debby Playing " Baby " > I am starting to be concerned with Jake being portrayed as the " baby " > when he is with his friends. He is 4 1/2 years old. He loves to play > " baby " and get wrapped in a blanket and drink from his baby bottle, > especially when his " girl " friends are over. They love to take care > of him and he just loves to be taken care of. He doesn't normally do > this with his male friends, but they also seem to be less interested > in playing " boy " things with him (soccer, running, racing) simply > because they know he can't keep up. So, Jake seems to gravitate to > his younger buddies because he physically more like them. > > Any suggestions on how to curb this. It is starting to break my heart > because I don't want him to be left out once he starts kindergarten > next year. I also don't know how to stop having him percieved as the > " baby doll " .....it doesn't help that he just loves it!!!!! > > Alison > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 27, 2004 Report Share Posted August 27, 2004 Alison- Just my 2¢ but I remember being the " baby " when we played house for YEARS. I actively enjoyed that role and know that I would always try to " be the baby " through age 9 or 10...at which time I outgrew playing house <G>. However, during that time I also played hide and seek (I was a GOOD hide and seeker...could fit into spots that no one else even thought of <G>), skelly (skully? it might have been a NY regional game...flicking a clay-filled milk bottle cap in a grid), kickball, roller skates, bicycle, etc. Most of the kids I played with were about a year younger than me...not so much because of our physical similarities but mainly because there were no kids exactly my age on my block and the " one year younger " kids were as close as I could get to my own age <G>. Then again, I was a girl. it might be different for Jake, since he's a boy. -Sharon- Just an RSS kid who grew up Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 28, 2004 Report Share Posted August 28, 2004 Alison, I have the same problem with my 6 year old daughter. We just started her in Kindergarten. Last year in preschool she was always being picked up and " handled " . Older girls in the higher classes just loved her and wanted to hug her. She loved it, too, but she knew I wasn't happy with it. We have tried to concentrate on her behavior instead of dealing with the other kids' behavior by making her aware of what " age appropriate " behavior should be, but I don't know if we're succeeding. I guess we'll find out as the year goes on. I wish I had an answer for you (or you had one for me!). I am so frustrated by this, but can't seem to make her aware of why she should handle this differently. Sherri D. Mom to 6 year old twins - Abby (RSS) and Sam (non RSS) > I am starting to be concerned with Jake being portrayed as the " baby " > when he is with his friends. He is 4 1/2 years old. He loves to play > " baby " and get wrapped in a blanket and drink from his baby bottle, > especially when his " girl " friends are over. They love to take care > of him and he just loves to be taken care of. He doesn't normally do > this with his male friends, but they also seem to be less interested > in playing " boy " things with him (soccer, running, racing) simply > because they know he can't keep up. So, Jake seems to gravitate to > his younger buddies because he physically more like them. > > Any suggestions on how to curb this. It is starting to break my heart > because I don't want him to be left out once he starts kindergarten > next year. I also don't know how to stop having him percieved as the > " baby doll " .....it doesn't help that he just loves it!!!!! > > Alison Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 29, 2004 Report Share Posted August 29, 2004 It's funny that all of your kids enjoy playing baby and liked to be picked up and handled. I was the exact opposite - I HATED being the baby and being picked up and carried around. I also don't remember having to play the baby more than once...I remember simply telling the kids that I would not play the baby and that I wanted to be the mommy and everyone acquiesced (although I was a very bossy kid <grin>). That was the end of that, and from then on, I always played the mom or the sister. I also loathed being picked up by friends, classmates, and my brother and I would throw a fit every time someone even attempted to pick me up. My classmates got the message pretty quickly <g>. I think it also helped that my pre-school, kindergarten and first grade teachers were exceptional and they would patiently explain to my classmates that I was their age and it was not appropriate for me to be picked up. Now, on the other hand, my younger (non-rss) brother quickly realized that the fastest way to aggravate me was to pick me up, so he would do it when he was mad at me. I specifically remember fights that would end with him picking me up and holding me there while I screamed bloody murder...LOL. My parents put an end to this pretty quickly, but you've got to give the kid credit for picking up on exactly what would push my buttons . We are now 22 and 20 and very close (and he hasn't picked me up in years!). ~Hillary 22, RSS Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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