T - You might be a Floridian if---- (humor)

[Guest guest]

<<< You might be a Floridian if----

<<<

<<< You exhibit a slight twitch when introduced to anyone with the first

<<< names of Charley, Frances, Ivan or Jeanne.

<<<

<<< Your freezer never has more than $20 worth of food in it

<<< any given time.

<<<

<<< You're looking at paint swatches for the plywood on your windows to

<<< accent the house color.

<<<

<<< You think of your hall closet/saferoom as " cozy. "

<<<

<<< Your pool is more accurately described as " framed in " than " screened

<<< in. "

<<<

<<< Your freezer in the garage now has only homemade ice in it.

<<<

<<< You no longer worry about relatives visiting during the

<<< summer months.

<<<

<<< You, too, haven't heard back from the insurance adjuster.

<<<

<<< You now understand what that little " 2% hurricane deductible " phrase

<<< really means.

<<<

<<< You're putting a collage together on your driveway of roof

<<< shingles from

<<< your neighborhood.

<<<

<<< You were once proud of your 16 " electric chain saw.

<<<

<<< Your Street has more than 3 " NO WAKE " signs posted.

<<<

<<< You now own 5 large ice chests.

<<<

<<< Your parrot can now say " hammered, pounded and hunker down. "

<<<

<<< You recognize people in line at the free ice, gas and

<<< plywood locations.

<<<

<<< You stop what you're doing and clap and wave when you see a

<<< convoy of

<<< power company trucks come down your street.

<<<

<<< You're depressed when they don't stop.

<<<

<<< You have the personal cell phone numbers of the managers

<<< for plywood,

<<< roofing supplies and generators at Home Depot on your speed dialer.

<<<

<<< You've spent more than $20 on " Tall white kitchen bags " to

<<< make your own

<<< sand bags.

<<<

<<< You're considering upgrading your 16 " to a 20 " chainsaw.

<<<

<<< You know what " Bar chain oil " is.

<<<

<<< You're thinking of getting your wife the hard hat with the

<<< ear protector

<<< and face shield for Christmas.

<<<

<<< You now think the $6000 whole-house gener ator seems reasonable.

<<<

<<< You look forward to dis cussions about the merits of

<<< " cubed, block and

<<< dry ice. "

<<<

<<< Your therapist refers to your condition as " generator envy. "

<<<

<<< You fight the urge to put on your winter coat and wool cap

<<< and parade

<<< around in front of your picture window when you finally get

<<< power and

<<< your neighbor across the street, with the noisy generator,

<<< doesn't get

<<< electric.

<<<

<<< And finally, you might be a Floridian if:

<<<

<<< You ask your sister up north to start saving the Sunday Real Estate

<<< classifieds!

<<<

<<<

<<<

<<<