Guest guest Posted August 1, 2004 Report Share Posted August 1, 2004 Hi everyone! Well, it's rainy and cloudy and grey in the Twin Cities today, which I'm thankful for. It matches my mood today and now I have a " reason " to sleep. As some of you know, I'm the children's minister at our church. I LOVE my job. This was my first week back at church (on Sunday) since I had my miscarriage on July 23rd. It was tough. Usually on Sunday's (at least during the summer) my only real responsibilities are to do the children's sermons at our early and late service. Well, today I also had to lead our contemprorary service because the regular director was out of town. I love doing that. It started out OK...until we came to the middle of the service and there was a baptism. Being Lutheran, we baptize babies. Now baptisms always bring a tear to my eye anyway, but today was just horrible in light of my miscarriage. What made it worse??? The baby's name was Caleb...the same name Mark and I picked out if we would have had a boy. I just cried and cried and cried. After crying so much I had to get up in front of everyone to finish the service along with the others in the Praise Team. I feel like my head is going to explode now (you know how you get a headache after you cry so much?). What a tough day for Mark and me. He's in Minneapolis for a continuing education class for work today so I'm glad he can get his mind off of it...at least I hope he's able to get his mind off of " things " and concentrate. I'm going to go take a nap. Thanks for listening to me vent you guys. This is so hard!!! Love and peace... Melody Surgeon: Dr. Clayton, River Falls Hospital, River Falls, WI Surgery Date: 04/30/02 Highest Weight: 298 lbs. Today's Weight 160 lbs (although my lowest was a year ago at 144 lbs...and that ticks me off) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 1, 2004 Report Share Posted August 1, 2004 In a message dated 8/1/2004 1:09:01 PM Eastern Daylight Time, mnmkids4@... writes: but today was just horrible in light of my miscarriage. What made it worse??? The baby's name was Caleb...the same name Mark and I picked out if we would have had a boy. I just cried and cried and cried. After crying so much I had to get up in front of everyone to finish the service along with the others in the Praise Team. I feel like my head is going to explode now ( --------------------------------- oh how hard that must have been for you! In my old " mommy group " a woman and I became pg at the same time... but I m/c. I had to take a step back... because it was just too difficult to watch her tummy grow and the excitement of the other mommies.... planning her shower.... This whole experience is just so fresh for you... and it does take time to heal... but for me at least.. it never really " goes away " . I can tell you that now I am pg again... I have that hope back...and not that I am " replacing " my lost baby... but there is a sense of moving on... if that makes any sense.. My cousin's wife had a baby at the same time I was to be due... and they named the girl Abbie... which was also the name I had chosen for a girl. It *IS* hard... but crying and mourning is VERY helpful and needed. Expressing sorrow and grief is healthy for both you and hubby. (( big hugs to you!!!)) I believe that God doesn't give us more then we can handle.... and that some of life's obstacles are practice for our futures. God will bless you guys with a family if that is your desire. I tell my sister that all the time... and for them.. after years of infertility treatments.. and finally the Dr's telling them.. it's " over " .. my sister and her husband have accepted and now looking into adoption!!! I am so thrilled for them!! ( I am adopted.. and my 5 brothers and sisters are Bio to my adoptive mom -- I am the oldest ) I am not a patient person.. and hate waiting... sometimes I wish " God's Time " would co incide with MY time tables.. K in Ft Lauderdale Mommy to: Noah - 10/14/02 Jonah - edd 11/18/04 *************************************************** Have a Website? Get Paid Weekly! Cpa Empire by OptinRealBig - Make Money! Free Job Listings - Add Your Link FREE http://www.NetBizMoms.com http://www.Handcrafted-Crosses.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 1, 2004 Report Share Posted August 1, 2004 I am sorry you have still having bad days like this. If you do not start to feel better soon it would not hurt to see a councelor to talk to. I know after my MC I was really depressed for a couple weeks and had some bad crying spells but it got better each day. I hope you feel better soon. God Bless, Robin Wife to Pup for 15 years Mommy to- and (twin boys, 8 years) and Daughter Madison- age 5 1/2 and new Mommy to- Emerson Roger born July 28, 2004 at 4:11 am 8lbs 7 oz, 20 1/2 inches long. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 1, 2004 Report Share Posted August 1, 2004 Hi again everyone!! Thanks for the pick-me-up notes of encouragement. I did take a little tiny nap (maybe 20 minutes) and I'm feeling better. It was a " me " kind of day. I played games on the computer, drank a mocha, had pizza for lunch and then went to work out. I'm feeling pretty good...except feeling guilty about eating the pizza. Oh well!!! Gotta scoot. I think Mark is home from his long day!! Love and peace...and THANK YOU!!! Melody Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 1, 2004 Report Share Posted August 1, 2004 oh melody, i'm so sorry. you have every right to cry, glad you are going to be able to nap after such a hard day, it will get easier as time goes by, hugs. aka mom2ben99 (jennilee75@...) Kay Independent Beauty Consultant http://www.marykay.com/koopmans I have all your summer care needs...tanning lotion, sunblock, even sunblock for your lips, get yours today! Tough Day Hi everyone! Well, it's rainy and cloudy and grey in the Twin Cities today, which I'm thankful for. It matches my mood today and now I have a " reason " to sleep. As some of you know, I'm the children's minister at our church. I LOVE my job. This was my first week back at church (on Sunday) since I had my miscarriage on July 23rd. It was tough. Usually on Sunday's (at least during the summer) my only real responsibilities are to do the children's sermons at our early and late service. Well, today I also had to lead our contemprorary service because the regular director was out of town. I love doing that. It started out OK...until we came to the middle of the service and there was a baptism. Being Lutheran, we baptize babies. Now baptisms always bring a tear to my eye anyway, but today was just horrible in light of my miscarriage. What made it worse??? The baby's name was Caleb...the same name Mark and I picked out if we would have had a boy. I just cried and cried and cried. After crying so much I had to get up in front of everyone to finish the service along with the others in the Praise Team. I feel like my head is going to explode now (you know how you get a headache after you cry so much?). What a tough day for Mark and me. He's in Minneapolis for a continuing education class for work today so I'm glad he can get his mind off of it...at least I hope he's able to get his mind off of " things " and concentrate. I'm going to go take a nap. Thanks for listening to me vent you guys. This is so hard!!! Love and peace... Melody Surgeon: Dr. Clayton, River Falls Hospital, River Falls, WI Surgery Date: 04/30/02 Highest Weight: 298 lbs. Today's Weight 160 lbs (although my lowest was a year ago at 144 lbs...and that ticks me off) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 1, 2004 Report Share Posted August 1, 2004 I know nothing can say or bring your little caleb back to you. I'm sorry that you are having to go through this. You seem to have strong faith in the Lord and the is what will get you through these difficult times. Always remember, " If the Lord brings you to it, He will bring you through it. " May God bless you and your family...... Sheila Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.