Chrystal

[Guest guest]

(((((Chrystal))))))

Wow, my dear...You certainly have had a go of it....Thank God

everyone is doing better now! What a scary experience.

Jonas sounds like a sweetheart which is awesome. Did they figure out

why his heart rate dropped and he wasn't breathing? Was it the cord?

I am so very glad he is okay...

As for the VBAC vs repeat section, I do know that it is a very

personal decision - and that it can be very safe to do. My sis in

law had one this past yr. Her labor was super quick (3rd baby) - she

didn't even have time to get her epidural and had something like 15

mins in hospital before she pushed him out. Precipitous labor like

that can also cause problems with uterine rupture, but everything

went very very smoothly.

I understand why you are feeling the way you do about your

hubby...Sounds like he wanted to save you the recovery of major

surgery? Its so hard when you feel you aren't being listened to or

validated by your spouse though...I truly hope that you can both get

through this really topsy turvy time and get back to loving

eachother and enjoying your beautiful family...

Wishing you peace and rest, Chrystal...

Good to hear from you and hope to hear from you again soon, time

permitting...

Hugs,

EDC Nov 10. 28weeks 5 days!

> Hi All,

>

> I know I have been very absent since Jonas was born.

>

> I have been trying to adjust to taking care of 2 kids and

basically doing it by myself because hubby is so busy with work.

Keeping the house clean, taking care of 8 animals, laundry,

breastfeeding, and trying to remember to eat and drink. Not to

mention getting over a massive kidney infection....uggh.

>

> I will say this about my labor experience. It was extremely

traumatic for all involved. I had a c-section with our first son

after 28 hours of non progressive labor and this time as soon as my

hubby found out about AVBAC he felt very gung ho that this is what

we should do and I was nervous and skeptical but thought I would try

it.

>

> On Friday before Jonas was born I had an allergic reaction to a

fire extinguisher after putting out a fire in our backyard....It

started contractions 2-5 minutes apart and I made quite a few trips

to labor and delivery and each time they said I was still stuck at 2

cm and not changed in effacement.

>

> Monday morning after another sleepless painfilled night they began

induction by breaking my water and then starting me on pitocin. I

went from 3-8 centimeters in just a few hours. My labor and

delivery nurses were fabulous. I got my epidural and spinal

combination and wasn't really feeling much of anything for a

while...then the epidural wore off and they cathetarized me and the

epidural was topped off and it started working again. Suddenly I

started barfing and feeling massive pressure. The L & D nurse put a

page in to call the doctor....The doctor didn't come...So the L & D

nurse checked me herself and put in another page for the doctor and

still the doctor didn't come. Jonas' heart rate dropped very low

and the L & D nurse put in another page and again the doctor didn't

come.....The L & D nurses got me ready to push and one of them ran

to find the doctor....who happened to be walking down the hall.

They came in and I started pushing with all my heart because I knew

something was terribly wrong. They pulled out the vacuum extraction

thing and attempted 3 times to get him out. Another doctor came in

and she wanted to take me for an emergency c-section but the other

doctor said let me try a few more times and they literally were

shouting at eachother. On the 4th or 5th try they got him out and he

was not breathing and he was taken away by the NICU team.

>

> Then I started having massive pain and bleeding and they were

going to take me for emergency surgery because they thought I had

ruptured my c-section scar. But they decided to wait and watch

while I was being sewn up. I had 2 massive tears and 2 cuts going

down to my rectum from the epesiotomy. The doctor sewed me for an

hour. Meanwhile I didn't know if my son was okay and I was

hysterical this whole time crying and praying. The doctors kept

telling me it wasn't my fault.

>

> And this is what we found out later.....

>

> The reason the doctors didn't come when paged is because they

weren't paged until 10 minutes after the nurse requested them. The

person at the communication center didn't think it was possible for

me to dilate as fast as I did and took it into their own hands not

to give the doctors the information from my labor and delivery

nurses....also the person gave the doctors the wrong information.

He told the doctors I was feeling pressure...not what was actually

happening. This person has been suspended pending

investigation....whatever that means.

>

> Jonas spent 4 days in the NICU and was intubated the first 24

hours. He had massive bruising and cuts on his head from the

vacuum. I stayed in the hospital 4 days because of the extent of

tearing and I literally couldn't walk...

>

> I went up to the NICU and breastfed him and held him. It is the

most horrible thing in the world to see your child in one of these

places. I was thankful to have it at my hospital but it is

heartbreaking. There were over 59 babies in the NICU and Jonas was

the biggest......some were smaller than our kitten and it just made

me cry so much for these women who come every day and sit vigil with

their tiny babies.

>

> When we left the hospital I felt happy and sad. I watched as

mothers had to turn away crying because they knew their babies would

not be coming home for quite a long time and I felt badly for being

so happy that we were going home as a family together.

>

> Does anyone know what I mean by this?

>

> As far as my marriage...I feel angry at myself and my hubby

because of the VBAC. He kept telling me it was better for me and I

didn't trust myself. Something deep in my head said don't do

it...it's not safe.....you know the dangers. My parents kept

telling me not to do it and even some people on this list told me

not to do it. I should have listened. But part of me wanted to

believe that something would finally go right and easily for us...I

was wrong and I feel so horribly guilty for what Jonas went through.

>

> He is so healthy and strong now but I just know how much more

wrong things could have gone - he could have died or I could have

died.

>

> My husband wants to be all lovey dovey towards me. He says he is

amazed by what I did and blah blah blah. I just feel mad at him.

He keeps telling me its over and to focus on the positive....he's

even talking about having another baby.

>

> I honestly don't think that I want to go through pregnancy ever

again. And at this point sex is not even something that is in my

thoughts with all the major construction that has gone on in my girl

parts. I looked at myself with a mirror and it just looks like

frankenstein down there........BLEK! Sorry if that is Too much

info..!

>

> And just so you all don't think I've fallen down the pit of Post

partum depression....I'm okay - honest. I am delighted in my son.

He is so beautiful. He is so much an easier baby than his big

brother. He breastfeeds like a champion, sleeps well, and just has

the sweetest little cry. I think being a mom the second time around

is so much easier. And its so nice I can actually shower every day

this time around..... would scream if I put him down and needed

constant holding....Jonas is happy to lay in his crib and watch his

fishy thing or his mobile.

>

> I'm thinking of going with the boys to my parents in California

for a few weeks to just have some space from hubby and maybe I can

feel loving towards him again. I know he knows how I feel but he is

not really taking it seriously...he's just doing the typical man

thing and acting as if nothing is wrong.

>

> Besides that I am so happy my kidney infection is gone and I am

able to eat a bit more normally again. I have to constantly remind

myself to eat and drink and I am still losing weight.....

>

> Again a weight recap...I weighed 226 when I conceived, 211 on the

day I had Jonas and now I weigh.....175. I had my Rny 2 years ago

in March....All my clothes are huge on me and my bra's are even too

big...! I love it.

>

> I am also faithfully taking my vitamins each day....something I

did not do when I was pregnant. I got these adult chewable vitamins

and I take mine everyday when I give our 4.5 year old his vitamins.

It's our daily ritual...ha ha.

>

> I'm counting the days until school starts for so I can take

some naps during the daytime...! He will be in 2 full days of

preschool which will be so nice!!!!!!He has a late birthday and

missed the cutoff date for kindergarten.

>

> So I just wanted to check in and say Hi - let you all know I'm

alive and just busy.

>

> If anyone wants to talk to me personally email me at

nowhiners@c... because I do try to check my email every day although

I don't often get to read all the posts because or Jonas

always need me as soon as Iog onto the computer. When I think to do

email...it seems like it is a cluster feeding day for Jonas and I am

definately not coordinated enough to type and breastfeed - ha ha.

>

> So thank you to anyone who got to the bottom of this....now I am

going to bed!

>

> Chrystal

>

> Wife to Jace - together 6 Years!

> Happy Mommy to - 4 Years Old!

> Baby Jonas Born August 2, 2004 8 Pounds & 8 Ounces!

> Zookeeper for 2 big dogs and 6 cats who let me feed them!

> http://chrystallife.50megs.com/

> http://members.ebay.com/aboutme/seeswensonauctions/

>

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