Having a bad day

[Guest guest]

Hi everyone...

Just feeling really sad today and wanted to share. Tomorrow marks the 1

month anniversary of our miscarriage (my first pregnancy). The first week was

hard, but I thought I was handling things really well. Sundays are the worst

for

me for some reason (even though the miscarriage happened on a Friday).

There's been a baptism (I'm Lutheran...so we baptize babies) every week in

church

since our m/c. This morning I sang a song by Christian singer Sara Groves

(does anyone know of her?? She's so awesome) called " He's Always Been

Faithful. "

It was so hard to get through. As a matter of fact, at both services that I

sang the song at, I barely made it through the song. I did make it through,

but as soon as I was done I went into my office (I'm the Director of Children's

Ministry at my church) and just sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. The past few

days have been almost as hard as when we first had our m/c. I'm an analyzer.

I want to know WHY this is happening. My best guesses??? 1) Tomorrow is the

one month anniversary. 2) I've spent some time recently with two of my best

friends who are both pregnant (one due Dec. 24 and the other due March 5...two

weeks before my due date). 3) This Thursday (8/26) my hubby and I were

scheduled to go to our first pre-natal class. 4) A week from tomorrow (8/30)

was

the date of my first pre-natal visit. 5) I'm starting to take down the

wallpaper in the guest room which was supposed to be the nursery. So now that I

know why I've been so weepy lately, why doesn't it help?? I just wish I could

get my head around it and quit crying. I just hurt so badly. I wasn't

expecting this. I thought it was behind me. I found out last week that I have

to

wait until the end of Oct. to TTC. The only reason is because I had my Rubella

vaccine on 7/28. At first I was bummed about having to wait, but now I'm

glad. Not only will it give me time to get some things (the guest room/nursery)

done before (if) we get pregnant...but now I'm realizing that I have to take

yet more time to mourn the death of our baby. This sounds horrible, but I

thought the worst was over. I thought I was " over it. " Now I realize I'm not

and

probably never totally will be.

OK...I'm done rambling now. Thanks for letting me get that off my chest.

Time to go have a good cry and then get ready for Vacation Bible School tonight.

I have 9 kids registered for Arts Camp...which is turning into Arts

Camp/mini- service project camp. I'm excited about it and about spending time

with

these 9 kids. They're so awesome. I just wish I were happier.

You guys rock!!!

Love and peace...

Melody

Dr. Clayton---River Falls Area Hospital

Highest weight: 298 lbs (July 2001)

Surgery weight: 269 lbs (April 30, 2002)

Current weight: 148 lbs (October 2003)

" Before " size: 26/28 and 3X

" After " size: 10/12 and M/L

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 8/22/2004 5:05:41 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

mnmkids4@... writes:

I just wish I were happier.

You guys rock!!!

Love and peace...

Melody

-------------------------------------------------

Melody,

It is NOT uncommon for women to get PPD after a miscarriage.

Besides the sadness... your body is experiencing a hormone madness.

From experience.. it is HARD as HECK to be pg the same time someone else is..

and then your pg doesn't materialize.

While each of us grieves differently and in different time spans.. it

wouldn't hurt to talk to your OBGYN about your sadness.. and if you are

experiencing

any mood swings...etc.

((( hugs )))

***************************************************

K in Ft Lauderdale

Noah - 10/14/02 - 31 weeker

Jonah - edd 11/18/04 ( currently High Risk Pg.. not WLS related)

Open RNY - 12/02/03

262/200/someday maybe in the 120's??

[Guest guest]

What you are feeling is quite normal. I cried from time to time for many

months. I had 2 MC's and after the second one I thought I was going to lose it

completly. I still wonder about those 2 babies, what were they, what would they

have looked like, how old the would be now. All normal stuff. I know having

Emerson has helped drastically, I have not forgotten the other 2 but it sure has

helped heal my heart and I am praying your heart will be healed soon too.

God Bless, Robin

Wife to Pup for 15 years

Mommy to-

and

(twin boys, 8 years) and

Daughter Madison- age 5 1/2

and new Mommy to-

Emerson Roger born

July 28, 2004 at 4:11 am

8lbs 7 oz, 20 1/2 inches long.

[Guest guest]

Melody,

Your right, you probably won't ever get over it but maybe it would be wise to

speak to a professional about your feelings. I'm sure that everything you are

going through is normal, though I have never had a m/c so I can't speak from

experience, but just to make sure that you have all your feelings settled before

you and hubby start trying again might be a good idea. Hang in there and take

things one day at a time and don't beat yourself up for being sad. I'm sending

positive vibes your way!!!

Axelrod

Having a bad day

Hi everyone...

Just feeling really sad today and wanted to share. Tomorrow marks the 1

month anniversary of our miscarriage (my first pregnancy). The first week was

hard, but I thought I was handling things really well. Sundays are the worst

for

me for some reason (even though the miscarriage happened on a Friday).

There's been a baptism (I'm Lutheran...so we baptize babies) every week in

church

since our m/c. This morning I sang a song by Christian singer Sara Groves

(does anyone know of her?? She's so awesome) called " He's Always Been

Faithful. "

It was so hard to get through. As a matter of fact, at both services that I

sang the song at, I barely made it through the song. I did make it through,

but as soon as I was done I went into my office (I'm the Director of

Children's

Ministry at my church) and just sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. The past few

days have been almost as hard as when we first had our m/c. I'm an analyzer.

I want to know WHY this is happening. My best guesses??? 1) Tomorrow is the

one month anniversary. 2) I've spent some time recently with two of my best

friends who are both pregnant (one due Dec. 24 and the other due March 5...two

weeks before my due date). 3) This Thursday (8/26) my hubby and I were

scheduled to go to our first pre-natal class. 4) A week from tomorrow (8/30)

was

the date of my first pre-natal visit. 5) I'm starting to take down the

wallpaper in the guest room which was supposed to be the nursery. So now that

I

know why I've been so weepy lately, why doesn't it help?? I just wish I could

get my head around it and quit crying. I just hurt so badly. I wasn't

expecting this. I thought it was behind me. I found out last week that I

have to

wait until the end of Oct. to TTC. The only reason is because I had my

Rubella

vaccine on 7/28. At first I was bummed about having to wait, but now I'm

glad. Not only will it give me time to get some things (the guest

room/nursery)

done before (if) we get pregnant...but now I'm realizing that I have to take

yet more time to mourn the death of our baby. This sounds horrible, but I

thought the worst was over. I thought I was " over it. " Now I realize I'm not

and

probably never totally will be.

OK...I'm done rambling now. Thanks for letting me get that off my chest.

Time to go have a good cry and then get ready for Vacation Bible School

tonight.

I have 9 kids registered for Arts Camp...which is turning into Arts

Camp/mini- service project camp. I'm excited about it and about spending time

with

these 9 kids. They're so awesome. I just wish I were happier.

You guys rock!!!

Love and peace...

Melody

Dr. Clayton---River Falls Area Hospital

Highest weight: 298 lbs (July 2001)

Surgery weight: 269 lbs (April 30, 2002)

Current weight: 148 lbs (October 2003)

" Before " size: 26/28 and 3X

" After " size: 10/12 and M/L

[Guest guest]

melody, you may never be " over it " but with time it will get easier. you are

completely normal. maybe you can talk to your dr or a psych. about it? maybe

that would help, so you can see you are normala dn they can help you thru it.

but let me warn you, even if you are pregnant on the time, your due date will be

a hard day to get past, you have days a head of you that will be hard, but it's

all normal. try to enjoy VBS and Arts Camp and try to be happy for the kids,

but know that you are okay and it's okay to cry and get weepy. there is nothing

wrong with crying. no one would ever blame you or look down on you for that.

hugs, jenn

aka mom2ben99 (jennilee75@...)

Kay Independent Beauty Consultant

http://www.marykay.com/koopmans

I have all your summer care needs...tanning lotion, sunblock, even sunblock for

your lips, get yours today!

Having a bad day

Hi everyone...

Just feeling really sad today and wanted to share. Tomorrow marks the 1

month anniversary of our miscarriage (my first pregnancy). The first week was

hard, but I thought I was handling things really well. Sundays are the worst

for

me for some reason (even though the miscarriage happened on a Friday).

There's been a baptism (I'm Lutheran...so we baptize babies) every week in

church

since our m/c. This morning I sang a song by Christian singer Sara Groves

(does anyone know of her?? She's so awesome) called " He's Always Been

Faithful. "

It was so hard to get through. As a matter of fact, at both services that I

sang the song at, I barely made it through the song. I did make it through,

but as soon as I was done I went into my office (I'm the Director of

Children's

Ministry at my church) and just sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. The past few

days have been almost as hard as when we first had our m/c. I'm an analyzer.

I want to know WHY this is happening. My best guesses??? 1) Tomorrow is the

one month anniversary. 2) I've spent some time recently with two of my best

friends who are both pregnant (one due Dec. 24 and the other due March 5...two

weeks before my due date). 3) This Thursday (8/26) my hubby and I were

scheduled to go to our first pre-natal class. 4) A week from tomorrow (8/30)

was

the date of my first pre-natal visit. 5) I'm starting to take down the

wallpaper in the guest room which was supposed to be the nursery. So now that

I

know why I've been so weepy lately, why doesn't it help?? I just wish I could

get my head around it and quit crying. I just hurt so badly. I wasn't

expecting this. I thought it was behind me. I found out last week that I

have to

wait until the end of Oct. to TTC. The only reason is because I had my

Rubella

vaccine on 7/28. At first I was bummed about having to wait, but now I'm

glad. Not only will it give me time to get some things (the guest

room/nursery)

done before (if) we get pregnant...but now I'm realizing that I have to take

yet more time to mourn the death of our baby. This sounds horrible, but I

thought the worst was over. I thought I was " over it. " Now I realize I'm not

and

probably never totally will be.

OK...I'm done rambling now. Thanks for letting me get that off my chest.

Time to go have a good cry and then get ready for Vacation Bible School

tonight.

I have 9 kids registered for Arts Camp...which is turning into Arts

Camp/mini- service project camp. I'm excited about it and about spending time

with

these 9 kids. They're so awesome. I just wish I were happier.

You guys rock!!!

Love and peace...

Melody

Dr. Clayton---River Falls Area Hospital

Highest weight: 298 lbs (July 2001)

Surgery weight: 269 lbs (April 30, 2002)

Current weight: 148 lbs (October 2003)

" Before " size: 26/28 and 3X

" After " size: 10/12 and M/L

[Guest guest]

My thoughts and prayers are with you as you recover from this

ordeal. I have never lost a child, but I know when my mother died, I

found that grief went in waves. The first rush of grief was like a

tidal wave that almost swept me away. Then slowly the tidal wave

receded and I came out of my fog. But that doesn't mean the waves

don't come and go, come and go.........(as waves do). Please know

that although I don't agree that time HEALS, I do beleive that time

lessens the pain. Take it easy and do give yourself time to begin

the healing process before moving on to TTC. (That's in MHO). Good

luck. And God bless.

> Hi everyone...

> Just feeling really sad today and wanted to share. Tomorrow marks

the 1

> month anniversary of our miscarriage (my first pregnancy).

[Guest guest]

A big hug, Melody. You're still grieving & healing will be a

process, but sounds the baptisms are too much of a trigger. It

would be for me too. I'm Lutheran too, & I bawl uncontrollably from

joy.

Thankfully, you're now protected from Rubella & your future bb will

be protected.

Don't know if you want my advice, but I'd say to be sure you get

your vits & iron etc in prep for ttc. I'm a first timer & pg is

pretty taxing.

God bless, honey.

WlsMomma

> Hi everyone...

> Just feeling really sad today and wanted to share. Tomorrow marks

the 1

> month anniversary of our miscarriage (my first pregnancy).Love and

peace...

> Melody

>

> Dr. Clayton---River Falls Area Hospital

> Highest weight: 298 lbs (July 2001)

> Surgery weight: 269 lbs (April 30, 2002)

> Current weight: 148 lbs (October 2003)

> " Before " size: 26/28 and 3X

> " After " size: 10/12 and M/L

[Guest guest]

Melody,

I really think it's a-okay to be sad. Let yourself. You've got a

lot going on to remind you of your little angel that you will have

to wait so long to meet. Have faith that you will be okay, and all

IS okay, the feelings you have included. I have never experienced a

loss as great as yours but know loss in other ways. Remember this

is all a process and no one can say what is right or wrong. If you

need to lean on this group while you go through tough times, that is

what we are all here for! Remember that!

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers!

Jeanette in IL

Lap RNY 5-9-03 264/147/135??

Mommy to Sammy 10/23/00

TTC since 7/04

> Hi everyone...

> Just feeling really sad today and wanted to share. Tomorrow marks

the 1

> month anniversary of our miscarriage (my first pregnancy). The

first week was

> hard, but I thought I was handling things really well. Sundays

are the worst for

> me for some reason (even though the miscarriage happened on a

Friday).

> There's been a baptism (I'm Lutheran...so we baptize babies) every

week in church

> since our m/c. This morning I sang a song by Christian singer

Sara Groves

> (does anyone know of her?? She's so awesome) called " He's Always

Been Faithful. "

> It was so hard to get through. As a matter of fact, at both

services that I

> sang the song at, I barely made it through the song. I did make

it through,

> but as soon as I was done I went into my office (I'm the Director

of Children's

> Ministry at my church) and just sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. The

past few

> days have been almost as hard as when we first had our m/c. I'm

an analyzer.

> I want to know WHY this is happening. My best guesses??? 1)

Tomorrow is the

> one month anniversary. 2) I've spent some time recently with two

of my best

> friends who are both pregnant (one due Dec. 24 and the other due

March 5...two

> weeks before my due date). 3) This Thursday (8/26) my hubby and

I were

> scheduled to go to our first pre-natal class. 4) A week from

tomorrow (8/30) was

> the date of my first pre-natal visit. 5) I'm starting to take

down the

> wallpaper in the guest room which was supposed to be the nursery.

So now that I

> know why I've been so weepy lately, why doesn't it help?? I just

wish I could

> get my head around it and quit crying. I just hurt so badly. I

wasn't

> expecting this. I thought it was behind me. I found out last

week that I have to

> wait until the end of Oct. to TTC. The only reason is because I

had my Rubella

> vaccine on 7/28. At first I was bummed about having to wait, but

now I'm

> glad. Not only will it give me time to get some things (the guest

room/nursery)

> done before (if) we get pregnant...but now I'm realizing that I

have to take

> yet more time to mourn the death of our baby. This sounds

horrible, but I

> thought the worst was over. I thought I was " over it. " Now I

realize I'm not and

> probably never totally will be.

>

> OK...I'm done rambling now. Thanks for letting me get that off my

chest.

> Time to go have a good cry and then get ready for Vacation Bible

School tonight.

> I have 9 kids registered for Arts Camp...which is turning into

Arts

> Camp/mini- service project camp. I'm excited about it and about

spending time with

> these 9 kids. They're so awesome. I just wish I were happier.

>

> You guys rock!!!

>

> Love and peace...

> Melody

>

> Dr. Clayton---River Falls Area Hospital

> Highest weight: 298 lbs (July 2001)

> Surgery weight: 269 lbs (April 30, 2002)

> Current weight: 148 lbs (October 2003)

> " Before " size: 26/28 and 3X

> " After " size: 10/12 and M/L

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I think you are totally justified in morning the death of your child. After

everything you have been through to make yourself healthier I think that you

need to feel all of the emotions of this the same way we all had to feel the

emotions after WLS. I had a miscarriage right before I got pregnant with my

son. I actually didn't even realize I had a miscarriage until I went in for the

ultrasound with my son and they found scarring and a cyst and asked if it was

possible. I remembered a time a few weeks before my son was conceived when I

know now that it must have been a miscarriage. I also have a friend who is a

preschool teacher who has been through two of them. Please know that you are

totally right in the feelings that you are having and you are probably on a

hormone swing too. Work through the grief now and look forward to October when

you will be able to start trying again. God works in very mysterious ways but

he is always around when you need him.

Thinking of you,