Re: Having a bad day----->Melody

[Guest guest]

((((((Melody))))))

Yes, you are an analyzer - I can see that by the post...But sweetie,

you are a grieving woman right now...You have to let yourself cry

and let yourself get through this in whatever way the grief

manifests. Its only been one month. I can only imagine too how hard

it was to be around your pregnant friends. It just makes the ache

that much more acute...

If you feel that the grief is too consuming, perhaps you could talk

to your Dr (or ? therapist, miscarriage support group) about the

possibility of depression....

Your posting is a good thing, Mel...You are reaching out and one

day, life will get better.

Sending big hugs and prayers,

> Hi everyone...

> Just feeling really sad today and wanted to share. Tomorrow marks

the 1

> month anniversary of our miscarriage (my first pregnancy). The

first week was

> hard, but I thought I was handling things really well. Sundays

are the worst for

> me for some reason (even though the miscarriage happened on a

Friday).

> There's been a baptism (I'm Lutheran...so we baptize babies) every

week in church

> since our m/c. This morning I sang a song by Christian singer

Sara Groves

> (does anyone know of her?? She's so awesome) called " He's Always

Been Faithful. "

> It was so hard to get through. As a matter of fact, at both

services that I

> sang the song at, I barely made it through the song. I did make

it through,

> but as soon as I was done I went into my office (I'm the Director

of Children's

> Ministry at my church) and just sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. The

past few

> days have been almost as hard as when we first had our m/c. I'm

an analyzer.

> I want to know WHY this is happening. My best guesses??? 1)

Tomorrow is the

> one month anniversary. 2) I've spent some time recently with two

of my best

> friends who are both pregnant (one due Dec. 24 and the other due

March 5...two

> weeks before my due date). 3) This Thursday (8/26) my hubby and

I were

> scheduled to go to our first pre-natal class. 4) A week from

tomorrow (8/30) was

> the date of my first pre-natal visit. 5) I'm starting to take

down the

> wallpaper in the guest room which was supposed to be the nursery.

So now that I

> know why I've been so weepy lately, why doesn't it help?? I just

wish I could

> get my head around it and quit crying. I just hurt so badly. I

wasn't

> expecting this. I thought it was behind me. I found out last

week that I have to

> wait until the end of Oct. to TTC. The only reason is because I

had my Rubella

> vaccine on 7/28. At first I was bummed about having to wait, but

now I'm

> glad. Not only will it give me time to get some things (the guest

room/nursery)

> done before (if) we get pregnant...but now I'm realizing that I

have to take

> yet more time to mourn the death of our baby. This sounds

horrible, but I

> thought the worst was over. I thought I was " over it. " Now I

realize I'm not and

> probably never totally will be.

>

> OK...I'm done rambling now. Thanks for letting me get that off my

chest.

> Time to go have a good cry and then get ready for Vacation Bible

School tonight.

> I have 9 kids registered for Arts Camp...which is turning into

Arts

> Camp/mini- service project camp. I'm excited about it and about

spending time with

> these 9 kids. They're so awesome. I just wish I were happier.

>

> You guys rock!!!

>

> Love and peace...

> Melody

>

> Dr. Clayton---River Falls Area Hospital

> Highest weight: 298 lbs (July 2001)

> Surgery weight: 269 lbs (April 30, 2002)

> Current weight: 148 lbs (October 2003)

> " Before " size: 26/28 and 3X

> " After " size: 10/12 and M/L

>

>

>