? Opinion on my situation with another Mom

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 8/25/2004 5:52:56 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

teresacroughen@... writes:

She continues to write

me, pleading that I sign up my cards to fund her program!

UGH...Am I being selfish?

Thanks-

in Detroit

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NOPE!

Just tell her that you are going to sign up in a program for YOUR OWN Kids..

end of story!

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K in Ft Lauderdale

Noah - 10/14/02 (31 weeker)

Jonah - edd 11/18/04 ( currently High Risk Pg.. not WLS related)

Open RNY - 12/02/03

-60 lbs.. give or take

[Guest guest]

This is off the pregnancy topic, but I need other parents opinions.

A longtime friend of mine has two girls; one a freshman in college,

the other a sophomore in school. My son is in first grade and as you

may know...the other son is due in three months.

I don't mind contributing to a good cause. I don't mind spending a

few dollars if it helps out a little ones' school...personal quota

for fundraisers, etc. But this friend is driving me bonkers!!!

We live in the Detroit area - it is one of the worst economical

states and has been for SEVERAL months. Our unemployment rate is

absurd and I've only been back to work for five months...after a

eight month layoff...and now...well, I'm in the third trimester and

hard times WILL come AGAIN! (My employer doesn't offer ONE HOUR of

maternity pay whether you've been there a month or ten years.)

Anyhow, she has enrolled herself into a college funding program where

a small percentage of ALL of her checking account and debit/credit

purchases go toward her daughters college tuitions. Sounds great

right....in my opinion, this is a wonderful program for parents,

relatives and loved ones to help out without actually making a

monetary donation. The only problem is that I have children of my own

that need tuition!

I have tried offering a donation check...that's not good enough.

I've tried offering to list the sophomores school name for my 'back

to school' puchases...that's not good enough. She continues to write

me, pleading that I sign up my cards to fund her program!

UGH...Am I being selfish?

Thanks-

in Detroit

[Guest guest]

,

No way are you being selfish. Actually, to me it sounds like your friend is

being the selfish one. Also, I would NEVER sign my CC up for anything for

someone else. If she is truly a friend she will understand that you and your

family are also getting ready to have MAJOR extra expenses with the new baby and

one less person working in the household and that YOU are going to have

serious financial responsibilities. Take care of you and yours first, if she

can't

understand that, then I would question her friendship. Sorry if I am being

blunt, but the more I think about your situation, the more I am getting angry

with your " friend " who seems like she hasn't even considered your family and

situation. :-)

(http://lilypie.com/)

[Guest guest]

,

No way are you being selfish. Actually, to me it sounds like your friend is

being the selfish one. Also, I would NEVER sign my CC up for anything for

someone else. If she is truly a friend she will understand that you and your

family are also getting ready to have MAJOR extra expenses with the new baby and

one less person working in the household and that YOU are going to have

serious financial responsibilities. Take care of you and yours first, if she

can't

understand that, then I would question her friendship. Sorry if I am being

blunt, but the more I think about your situation, the more I am getting angry

with your " friend " who seems like she hasn't even considered your family and

situation. :-)

(http://lilypie.com/)

[Guest guest]

My question is.......... why do you even associate with this person? People

can be users, even " friends " . I would seriously stop talking with this person.

You have alot going on right now; you dont need this aggrevated stress!

[Guest guest]

Just a short update/input on my original post.

My husband just left for work...when I mentioned the dilemma to him

he became defensive and asked how she could expect us to do something

like that when we're having such a hard time financially and have a

child (and another on it's way) of our own.

He said that she can't be a real good friend if she can't understand

why we're not willing to participate.

Then the Roth Educational fund came up...my son has a ROTH IRA that

we're only able to afford $10 monthly. What's next? Is she going to

expect us to stop depositing that small amount into his fund and

start one for her kids? How about six months from now...heck - why

start a small life insurance policy for our newborn? Why not just

take out an insurance policy for her kids while we're at it?

Unbelievable...

in Detroit

[Guest guest]

Just a short update/input on my original post.

My husband just left for work...when I mentioned the dilemma to him

he became defensive and asked how she could expect us to do something

like that when we're having such a hard time financially and have a

child (and another on it's way) of our own.

He said that she can't be a real good friend if she can't understand

why we're not willing to participate.

Then the Roth Educational fund came up...my son has a ROTH IRA that

we're only able to afford $10 monthly. What's next? Is she going to

expect us to stop depositing that small amount into his fund and

start one for her kids? How about six months from now...heck - why

start a small life insurance policy for our newborn? Why not just

take out an insurance policy for her kids while we're at it?

Unbelievable...

in Detroit

[Guest guest]

Hi Theresa,

I guess I am confused. Have you signed yourself up for this

program. I am not entirely sure how it works....but I have seen some

like this and from what I can recall....it costs you *nothing* to

join and works the same way frequent flyer miles seem to work. Lets

say they give 1/2 % for every dollar you spend....back to the college.

Why not look into it and sign yourself/children up? Is that a

possibility? If you dont want to sign yourself up or are unable to

do it (maybe they have some limitation like the child actually being

in college)....Then, If it isnt going to actually COST you

anything....why not just do it?

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[Guest guest]

Hi Theresa,

I guess I am confused. Have you signed yourself up for this

program. I am not entirely sure how it works....but I have seen some

like this and from what I can recall....it costs you *nothing* to

join and works the same way frequent flyer miles seem to work. Lets

say they give 1/2 % for every dollar you spend....back to the college.

Why not look into it and sign yourself/children up? Is that a

possibility? If you dont want to sign yourself up or are unable to

do it (maybe they have some limitation like the child actually being

in college)....Then, If it isnt going to actually COST you

anything....why not just do it?

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