? Opinion on my situation with another Mom

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 8/25/2004 5:52:56 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

teresacroughen@... writes:

She continues to write

me, pleading that I sign up my cards to fund her program!

UGH...Am I being selfish?

Thanks-

in Detroit

--------------------------------------------------------------------

NOPE!

Just tell her that you are going to sign up in a program for YOUR OWN Kids..

end of story!

***************************************************

K in Ft Lauderdale

Noah - 10/14/02 (31 weeker)

Jonah - edd 11/18/04 ( currently High Risk Pg.. not WLS related)

Open RNY - 12/02/03

-60 lbs.. give or take

[Guest guest]

This is off the pregnancy topic, but I need other parents opinions.

A longtime friend of mine has two girls; one a freshman in college,

the other a sophomore in school. My son is in first grade and as you

may know...the other son is due in three months.

I don't mind contributing to a good cause. I don't mind spending a

few dollars if it helps out a little ones' school...personal quota

for fundraisers, etc. But this friend is driving me bonkers!!!

We live in the Detroit area - it is one of the worst economical

states and has been for SEVERAL months. Our unemployment rate is

absurd and I've only been back to work for five months...after a

eight month layoff...and now...well, I'm in the third trimester and

hard times WILL come AGAIN! (My employer doesn't offer ONE HOUR of

maternity pay whether you've been there a month or ten years.)

Anyhow, she has enrolled herself into a college funding program where

a small percentage of ALL of her checking account and debit/credit

purchases go toward her daughters college tuitions. Sounds great

right....in my opinion, this is a wonderful program for parents,

relatives and loved ones to help out without actually making a

monetary donation. The only problem is that I have children of my own

that need tuition!

I have tried offering a donation check...that's not good enough.

I've tried offering to list the sophomores school name for my 'back

to school' puchases...that's not good enough. She continues to write

me, pleading that I sign up my cards to fund her program!

UGH...Am I being selfish?

Thanks-

in Detroit

[Guest guest]

My question is.......... why do you even associate with this person? People

can be users, even " friends " . I would seriously stop talking with this person.

You have alot going on right now; you dont need this aggrevated stress!

[Guest guest]

Nope. IMHO your friend is being selfish for not accepting what you have offered.

Tell her that there are a variety of student aid programs including grants,

loans and scholarships available but you have your own expenses to worry about.

Ferguson Rasley

mailto:dferguson@...

? Opinion on my situation with another Mom

This is off the pregnancy topic, but I need other parents opinions.

A longtime friend of mine has two girls; one a freshman in college,

the other a sophomore in school. My son is in first grade and as you

may know...the other son is due in three months.

I don't mind contributing to a good cause. I don't mind spending a

few dollars if it helps out a little ones' school...personal quota

for fundraisers, etc. But this friend is driving me bonkers!!!

We live in the Detroit area - it is one of the worst economical

states and has been for SEVERAL months. Our unemployment rate is

absurd and I've only been back to work for five months...after a

eight month layoff...and now...well, I'm in the third trimester and

hard times WILL come AGAIN! (My employer doesn't offer ONE HOUR of

maternity pay whether you've been there a month or ten years.)

Anyhow, she has enrolled herself into a college funding program where

a small percentage of ALL of her checking account and debit/credit

purchases go toward her daughters college tuitions. Sounds great

right....in my opinion, this is a wonderful program for parents,

relatives and loved ones to help out without actually making a

monetary donation. The only problem is that I have children of my own

that need tuition!

I have tried offering a donation check...that's not good enough.

I've tried offering to list the sophomores school name for my 'back

to school' puchases...that's not good enough. She continues to write

me, pleading that I sign up my cards to fund her program!

UGH...Am I being selfish?

Thanks-

in Detroit

Children are a blessing, and a gift from the Lord. -Psalm 127:3

[Guest guest]

Nope. IMHO your friend is being selfish for not accepting what you have offered.

Tell her that there are a variety of student aid programs including grants,

loans and scholarships available but you have your own expenses to worry about.

Ferguson Rasley

mailto:dferguson@...

? Opinion on my situation with another Mom

This is off the pregnancy topic, but I need other parents opinions.

A longtime friend of mine has two girls; one a freshman in college,

the other a sophomore in school. My son is in first grade and as you

may know...the other son is due in three months.

I don't mind contributing to a good cause. I don't mind spending a

few dollars if it helps out a little ones' school...personal quota

for fundraisers, etc. But this friend is driving me bonkers!!!

We live in the Detroit area - it is one of the worst economical

states and has been for SEVERAL months. Our unemployment rate is

absurd and I've only been back to work for five months...after a

eight month layoff...and now...well, I'm in the third trimester and

hard times WILL come AGAIN! (My employer doesn't offer ONE HOUR of

maternity pay whether you've been there a month or ten years.)

Anyhow, she has enrolled herself into a college funding program where

a small percentage of ALL of her checking account and debit/credit

purchases go toward her daughters college tuitions. Sounds great

right....in my opinion, this is a wonderful program for parents,

relatives and loved ones to help out without actually making a

monetary donation. The only problem is that I have children of my own

that need tuition!

I have tried offering a donation check...that's not good enough.

I've tried offering to list the sophomores school name for my 'back

to school' puchases...that's not good enough. She continues to write

me, pleading that I sign up my cards to fund her program!

UGH...Am I being selfish?

Thanks-

in Detroit

Children are a blessing, and a gift from the Lord. -Psalm 127:3

[Guest guest]

I think it is rude of her to ask more than once. You can either

choose to ignor her requests or flat out tell her no that you cannot

afford it - You need every penny for your own childern! Family is

different but even with family it would be rude to make so many

requests especially if they had children of their own. Would she do

the same right now if you set up an account for both of your

children? Probabally not especially since they are so young(or not

here yet) but it is never too early to think of these things. No I

think she is being rude and sombody needs to tell her so but that is

not necessarily your job and it could hurt your friendship if you do

not use tact. Thats my opinion. - Diane

> This is off the pregnancy topic, but I need other parents opinions.

>

> A longtime friend of mine has two girls; one a freshman in college,

> the other a sophomore in school. My son is in first grade and as

you

> may know...the other son is due in three months.

>

> I don't mind contributing to a good cause. I don't mind spending a

> few dollars if it helps out a little ones' school...personal quota

> for fundraisers, etc. But this friend is driving me bonkers!!!

>

> We live in the Detroit area - it is one of the worst economical

> states and has been for SEVERAL months. Our unemployment rate is

> absurd and I've only been back to work for five months...after a

> eight month layoff...and now...well, I'm in the third trimester and

> hard times WILL come AGAIN! (My employer doesn't offer ONE HOUR of

> maternity pay whether you've been there a month or ten years.)

>

> Anyhow, she has enrolled herself into a college funding program

where

> a small percentage of ALL of her checking account and debit/credit

> purchases go toward her daughters college tuitions. Sounds great

> right....in my opinion, this is a wonderful program for parents,

> relatives and loved ones to help out without actually making a

> monetary donation. The only problem is that I have children of my

own

> that need tuition!

>

> I have tried offering a donation check...that's not good enough.

> I've tried offering to list the sophomores school name for my 'back

> to school' puchases...that's not good enough. She continues to

write

> me, pleading that I sign up my cards to fund her program!

>

> UGH...Am I being selfish?

>

> Thanks-

> in Detroit

[Guest guest]

I think it is rude of her to ask more than once. You can either

choose to ignor her requests or flat out tell her no that you cannot

afford it - You need every penny for your own childern! Family is

different but even with family it would be rude to make so many

requests especially if they had children of their own. Would she do

the same right now if you set up an account for both of your

children? Probabally not especially since they are so young(or not

here yet) but it is never too early to think of these things. No I

think she is being rude and sombody needs to tell her so but that is

not necessarily your job and it could hurt your friendship if you do

not use tact. Thats my opinion. - Diane

> This is off the pregnancy topic, but I need other parents opinions.

>

> A longtime friend of mine has two girls; one a freshman in college,

> the other a sophomore in school. My son is in first grade and as

you

> may know...the other son is due in three months.

>

> I don't mind contributing to a good cause. I don't mind spending a

> few dollars if it helps out a little ones' school...personal quota

> for fundraisers, etc. But this friend is driving me bonkers!!!

>

> We live in the Detroit area - it is one of the worst economical

> states and has been for SEVERAL months. Our unemployment rate is

> absurd and I've only been back to work for five months...after a

> eight month layoff...and now...well, I'm in the third trimester and

> hard times WILL come AGAIN! (My employer doesn't offer ONE HOUR of

> maternity pay whether you've been there a month or ten years.)

>

> Anyhow, she has enrolled herself into a college funding program

where

> a small percentage of ALL of her checking account and debit/credit

> purchases go toward her daughters college tuitions. Sounds great

> right....in my opinion, this is a wonderful program for parents,

> relatives and loved ones to help out without actually making a

> monetary donation. The only problem is that I have children of my

own

> that need tuition!

>

> I have tried offering a donation check...that's not good enough.

> I've tried offering to list the sophomores school name for my 'back

> to school' puchases...that's not good enough. She continues to

write

> me, pleading that I sign up my cards to fund her program!

>

> UGH...Am I being selfish?

>

> Thanks-

> in Detroit

[Guest guest]

Hi . A few words come to mind when it comes to this so called

friend: demanding, shameless & inconsiderate.

I'm enrolled in one of those programs, UPromise, but I'd never ever

ask anyone to contribute. I think we all have enough on our own plates.

Getting back to your 'friend', can't her college freshman, you know,

work? I've been working since the age of 15...

It's not about being selfish, it's about taking care of #1.

WlsMomma

> This is off the pregnancy topic, but I need other parents opinions.

> A longtime friend of mine has two girls; one a freshman in college,

> the other a sophomore in school. My son is in first grade and as you

> may know...the other son is due in three months.

>

> I don't mind contributing to a good cause. I don't mind spending a

> few dollars if it helps out a little ones' school...personal quota

> for fundraisers, etc. But this friend is driving me bonkers!!!

>

> We live in the Detroit area - it is one of the worst economical

> states and has been for SEVERAL months. Our unemployment rate is

> absurd and I've only been back to work for five months...after a

> eight month layoff...and now...well, I'm in the third trimester and

> hard times WILL come AGAIN! (My employer doesn't offer ONE HOUR of

> maternity pay whether you've been there a month or ten years.)

>

> Anyhow, she has enrolled herself into a college funding program where

> a small percentage of ALL of her checking account and debit/credit

> purchases go toward her daughters college tuitions. Sounds great

> right....in my opinion, this is a wonderful program for parents,

> relatives and loved ones to help out without actually making a

> monetary donation. The only problem is that I have children of my own

> that need tuition!

>

> I have tried offering a donation check...that's not good enough.

> I've tried offering to list the sophomores school name for my 'back

> to school' puchases...that's not good enough. She continues to write

> me, pleading that I sign up my cards to fund her program!

> UGH...Am I being selfish?

> Thanks-

> in Detroit

[Guest guest]

Hi . A few words come to mind when it comes to this so called

friend: demanding, shameless & inconsiderate.

I'm enrolled in one of those programs, UPromise, but I'd never ever

ask anyone to contribute. I think we all have enough on our own plates.

Getting back to your 'friend', can't her college freshman, you know,

work? I've been working since the age of 15...

It's not about being selfish, it's about taking care of #1.

WlsMomma

> This is off the pregnancy topic, but I need other parents opinions.

> A longtime friend of mine has two girls; one a freshman in college,

> the other a sophomore in school. My son is in first grade and as you

> may know...the other son is due in three months.

>

> I don't mind contributing to a good cause. I don't mind spending a

> few dollars if it helps out a little ones' school...personal quota

> for fundraisers, etc. But this friend is driving me bonkers!!!

>

> We live in the Detroit area - it is one of the worst economical

> states and has been for SEVERAL months. Our unemployment rate is

> absurd and I've only been back to work for five months...after a

> eight month layoff...and now...well, I'm in the third trimester and

> hard times WILL come AGAIN! (My employer doesn't offer ONE HOUR of

> maternity pay whether you've been there a month or ten years.)

>

> Anyhow, she has enrolled herself into a college funding program where

> a small percentage of ALL of her checking account and debit/credit

> purchases go toward her daughters college tuitions. Sounds great

> right....in my opinion, this is a wonderful program for parents,

> relatives and loved ones to help out without actually making a

> monetary donation. The only problem is that I have children of my own

> that need tuition!

>

> I have tried offering a donation check...that's not good enough.

> I've tried offering to list the sophomores school name for my 'back

> to school' puchases...that's not good enough. She continues to write

> me, pleading that I sign up my cards to fund her program!

> UGH...Am I being selfish?

> Thanks-

> in Detroit