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>>>>>WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST

>>>>>She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.

>>>>>Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.

>>>>>Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.

>>>>>Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.

>>>>>And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.

>>>>>WOMEN'S REVENGE

>>>>> " Cash, check or charge? " I asked, after folding items the woman

wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote

control or a television set in her purse. " So, do you always carry your TV

remote? " I asked. " No, " she replied, " but my husband refused to come

shopping with me, so I figured this was the most legal evil thing I

could do to him. "

>>>>>UNDERSTANDING WOMEN (A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)

>>>>>I know I'm not going to understand women I'll never understand how

you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the

hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.

>>>>>MARRIAGE SEMINAR

>>>>>While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication, Tom

and his wife Grace listened to the instructor, " It is essential that

husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other. "

He addressed the man, " Can you describe your wife's favorite

flower? " Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, " It's

Pillsbury, isn't it? The rest of the story gets rather ugly, so I'll stop right

here.

CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS

>>>>>A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The

sales girl notices him and asks him if she ca help him. He answers

>that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him

down the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of

cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter. She says, confused, " Sir,

I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?

He answers, " You see, it's like this. Yesterday, I sent my wife to

>the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin

>of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's sooooooooooo much

cheaper. So, I figure if I have to roll my own ... so does she.

I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton! :-)

>>>>>WIFE VS. HUSBAND

>>>>>A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a

>>>>word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them

>wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules,

goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, " Relatives of yours? "

" Yep, " the wife replied, " in-laws. "

>>>>>WORDS

>>>>>A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use

a day...30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, " The reason has to

>be because we have to repeat everything to men... The husband then

turned to his wife and asked, " What? "

CREATION

>>>>>A man said to his wife one day, " I don't know how you can be so

stupid and so beautiful all at the same time. " The wife responded, " Allow

me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;

God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!

>>>>>

>>>>>BEAST

>>>>>Husband and wife were in the midst of a violent quarrel, and hubby

was losing his temper. " Be careful, " he said to his wife. " You will

bring out the beast in me. " So what? " his wife shot back. " Who is afraid of a

mouse? "

>>>>>WHO DOES WHAT

>>>>>A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the

>>>>>coffee each morning. The wife said, " You should do it, because you

get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee. "

The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you

should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee. "

Wife replies, " No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the

man should do the coffee. " Husband replies, " I can't believe that, show me. " So

she

fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at

the top of several pages, that it indeed says... " HEBREWS "

>>>>>

>>>>>Live well, Love much, Laugh often !

>>>>>Have a Wonderful day !!!!