I need some support and help.

[Guest guest]

I am having some problems at home and hope that someone maybe in my

shoes or someone that has been in my shoes can lend some hope or

strength to do what I must.

I am 24 weeks pregnant with my first. Totally unplanned. I didnt

think I could have children of my own. The father and I had only

known each other for 3 months when I conceived. I thought he was

great but needed to grow up and act responsible at the age of 31.

Since I have been pregnant he has promised to do this and do that to

take care of us. We now live together and have for 3 months. But it

has been some of the most stressful days of my life. I just found out

that he has been lying this whole time about money. How much he

makes, how much he owes in back child support, how much he has paid

into bills etc.

Last week I came home to an eviction notice because of unpaid rent. I

was so mad. Previous to that 6 weeks ago I came home to the power

being turned off and then just 2 weeks ago the cable was turned off.

Granted I make plenty of money to take care of myself and him if I

had to in good style. But because he has promised and insisted that

he can and wants to do this I have left it in his hands. Consiquently

I have spent most of my funds buying new furniture and getting ready

for baby.

With this notice on the door I began to question what was really

going on. (note: I have been seeing a counselor who has opened my

eyes alot in the past few months to some other issues I have with him

and she has said that she didnt think it was going to change and that

since I feel that he is not my " Ideal " mate that I needed to really

look into my relationship.)

Well When I questioned him he just danced all around the subject.

Long story short he lied lied lied about so many things I couldnt

believe it. I even called his mom (who I dont think knows I am

pregnant by the way) and she threw it all back at me and said that I

should have listen to her when she advised me to let him live in low

income housing and save his money etc. She said that I came in with

my " I can fix anything attitude " and pushed him to live a high life

style. Well I am sorry but a 2 bedroom apartment for only $625/month

is nothing. In our area housing goes for alot more than that and I am

use to have alot nicer than that.

Needless to say I do not trust him much. Not that he would be

cheating on me but the financial lying is just to much. I gave him 30-

60 days to stop and straighten up or else I am leaving. My family and

friends all say I need to go now. But I just emptied my bank account

to keep us in our current apartment and I have furniture left to pay

for. So the soonest I could arrange other living arrangments would be

30-60 days away. I feel like staying will make it all harder and then

I think about leaving and him being with someone else and that makes

me cry.

I dont know what to do. I wanted so much more from a partner or

spouse. More than I think he would ever be able to give me. Doesnt

change the fact that I have feelings involved and a baby on the way.

We have talked and promised each other that no matter the outcome we

will always be friends for the baby's sake.

Any help would be appreciated.

Thanks, Shalonda

RNY 9/11/03

300+/17?/??? dont want to know what the scale says now!!!

EDD 1/8-9/05 with baby boy Malachi.