Got a case of the blues

[Guest guest]

I know that I have spoken on here a hundred times how we will cycle

through are emotions much like how one might feel after loosing a

loved one. Yet we just do it over and over again without any end.

I thought that I would have an end, some closure, but I haven't not

yet anyway.

I just cant seem to get any stronger. I know its been only about 14

weeks but am I expecting too much. I still have pain after eating

and that depends on how much I eat. I am so tired and weak that I

need to still rest during the day. I take tons of vitamins and

suppplements and make sure to take them with the creon so that I can

absorb it all. My blood sugars are fine and I take very little

insulin if any at all. I am just so weak.

At first I thought it was because I was doing so little, so I tried

to increase my activity. You know the more you do the more you will

do, well all that did was aggrivate the pain more. It has gotten to

the point that I asked my pcp for some Dilaudid for break through

pain as I was taking way too much vicodan and was concerned about

too much tylenol.

The pain is nothing like I had before at all. If it was I would be

banging on the door of the ER and paging the surgeon stat. Its just

a very achey pain and nausea after I eat. I have been told it will

get better. But I threw up twice last weekend. havn't done that in

a very long time.

The doc told me it will get better and to be honest with ya'll I

really dont want to talk with him anymore. I want to be done with

all this, maybe its just too soon. I dont know, I cried on the way

home yesterday and couldn't explain it to my kids, they just dont

understand. We were going to watch a movie after dinner, but I had

to go lay down because I thought I was going to throw up.

I know it hasn't been that long since the total and I should count

my blessings, and I do. Really. I feel 1000% better then I used

to, but I just dont feel well. Maybe its just too soon but it sure

has me feeling depressed. I have been on the verge of crying all

day. I'll phase out of this, I know that, but I am so glad that I

can tell ya'll how I am truly feeling. Ya'll are the only ones who

understand and it does feel good to get it off my chest. I think I

can tell ya'll anything and you wont think I belong in a looney bin,

well at least not most of ya'll. I hope I phase out of this soon, I

didn't even want to get out of bed this morning and that is very

unlike me.

Thanks for listening,

[Guest guest]

Hey ,

I'm so sorry you are feeling bad. Do you take an antidepressant? What about

seeing a psychiatrist? I go to theapy just to talk about what is going on. It

helps me alot. I can't really talk to family members because they already worry

enough about me. I did start a journal last month just to write down what

happened during the day and it helps also. It can be so discouraging when you

feel so good for a while and then you don't have energy to even get out of bed

but you push yourself just for your family. I feel for you girl. My son tells

me he is so worried about me and I hate that. He is almost 18 and he should be

out having fun with his friends instead of worring about me.

I don't know much about the healing time for a total pancrectomy(if that is the

right word) but you have been through alot. I know it takes several weeks to

get my energy back from a panc attack. I want you to know I am here for ya

anytime so please let us know how you are doing.

Thinking of you

Patty Duley

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[Guest guest]

,

I know how depressing alwayss feeling sick and being weak is. I watch all

of my friends go out drinking and partying, staying up all night, dancing

for hours, and eating whayever they want. Sometimes watching them gets me

very upset and depressed but then I have to remember that I am lucky to be

alive. With how bad I got pancreatitis the first time if I was a little

older or it was 10 years ago I would have been deam. So I think that

sometimes you need to put everything into perspective and say thank g-d that

I am alive.

I don't know you very well but I wish you all the best, and if you need

anything I would gladly give you any help that I can.

I hope that you start feeling better, I know this is a corny phrase but

" Time heals all wounds "

And rember that thinking positive can help you heal, so the happier that

your thoughts are the quicker you will get better (The power of optomism!)

Best Wishes,

a