why do I bother?

[Guest guest]

Kara,

Yes, I read ALL of your post. Thanks for venting. It will not only

help you but it also helps me too. Just to know that there are lots

of people out there just like me and they know EXACTLY what I'm

going through. I do hope you can get some relief soon. Have you

considered changing doctors? I have had to do that a couple of

times because I was having mental breakdowns just thinking that it

was " all in my head " (as some of the docs said). I had to hit a

really bad low in order for me to take charge of my medical

situation. It wasn't fun being in that low either. I cried for

almost 24 hours straight. I also looked longingly at the bar full

of liquor at the restaurant, (I'm a recovering addict for 16 years),

wishing I could drown myself for awhile and just forget everything.

I don't know how I pulled through that either, but somehow I did and

I didn't get that drink. I finally got mad enough to take matters

into my own hands and be my own patient advocate. Yes, it took me

another 2 years to find a great doctor, but hey, I DID find one. I

am finally on a road that I can handle (for most days), with the

help of pain meds. I will keep you in my thoughts and hope that you

can find relief soon.

Take care

Kris in TN

[Guest guest]

Why do you bother?...

Because even though you don't have any answers yet, that doesn't

mean you won't have any ever.

Because even though you don't have a solution to your pain yet, that

again doesn't mean you won't ever.

Because, even though the studies seem hard now to cope with, at the

end you could have an excellent degree and you can say..I did this

and under these conditions and I am a much stronger person for it.

Change your doctor. I did this recently. I was at a loss as to

finding a doctor who would understand CP, and all my other

conditions that are majorly life changing. A doctor who wouldn't be

scared to say I don't know..I'll have to find out for you, one who

was strong enough to not fob me off to the next doctor as has

happened so many times. I think I have found him.

All I did was go to the phone book of Gastroenterologists and

started at the letter A and made phone calls. I asked the question...

Do you have a GI there who knows something about CP and FAP (my

other condition) and would be willing to treat me? "

The second clinic I called, the nurse told me she knew the exact

doctor for me. I made an appointment and came away impressed after

my first consultation with him.

You need to find a good PCP, GI and Pain Management specialist. I'd

be starting by calling around the PCP. Perhaps he/she could write a

letter to your school board, explaining the situation, and they

could make further allowances for you? Next step would be for them

to get you a good Pain specialist who would help you with pain meds

that would give you the freedom to at least be able to concentrate

on your studies more than your pain. Then I would be picking up the

phone and dialing Indiana to see Dr Lehman if there are no other

GI's as informative about CP. Actually, I remember reading about the

University of Southern California Medical Center having a pretty

good hold on CP and pain management...perhaps you could give that

hospital a call and see what can be done at that end...If I remember

correctly, you are near San Fransisco?

You bother because there is a reason for you having this illness,

whether it is for reasons to instill in you the need to fight and

win against the unknown, make you stronger in body and in mind...or

even if it is to make the doctors stronger in their understandings,

knowledge and remedies of this disease.

You bother because you have a child (no matter what their age) who

doesn't want to be parentless, who wants to have a mother to love

and who is there to love him/her. And you have parents, brothers and

sisters who want their child and siblings to love and for you to

love them back. This is what family is for, to be there for you in

the good times and in the bad times. These are enough blessings

alone for you to bother.

If you wish to email me privately regarding your bowel movements,

feel free, I would be only too happy to try and help you....they are

my specialty, seeing as I only have 8 inches of colon and have many

many many per day and they are always changing *L*...

Sincerely,

Ward

PAI Administration Support Staff

dceward@...

[Guest guest]

Kara,

I just want to let you know that I am sending many hugs your way.

Hugs,

Crystal

[Guest guest]

Hi again Kara,

I didn't check the PAI board until after I emailed you my number and

my suggestions for

seeing Dr. L at UCD. Been out of town a couple days and just caught

up with the board,

including your Mar 14 post and the responses.

I'm not much at expressing my feelings well as so many did who

responded to you. I'm

sure my wife can attest to that. She's been in pain this week with

two infected root canals

and TMJ. The TMJ compels her dentist to work in short periods spread

over several weeks,

rather than getting it over in one or two visits. At least I can

give her a hug when she's

crying as she tries to eat, as she comforted me when I was having

lots of pancreatitis pain.

Yes, some of us can sound like cockeyed optimists, but I think

expressed the

truth when she said there's a reason for our infirmities. My

strength in dealing with these

things has been my faith. I don't know how I could have faced the

problems and pains in

my life without the assurance I have of God's love for me. And I

know my illness has

reordered my priorities, made me more sensitive to other's hurts, and

given me

opportunities to comfort them.

Below are a few quotes that have helped my understanding and I hope

may be of some

help to you and others. I realize statements like these can sound

like foolish optimism

from Dr. Pangloss of Voltaire's " Candide " , unless you've come to

know the Lord and

accept what he's done for us. Trust me; no, trust God's word, that

he has plans for you,

even if things look dark now.

Praying for you. Feel free to call me if you're feeling down (or

even if you're not).

Kurt

" Our weaknesses increase our capacity for sympathy and ministry. We

are far more likely

to be compassionate and considerate of the weaknesses of others. God

wants you to have

a Christlike ministry on earth. That means other people are going to

find healing in your

wounds. Your greatest life messages and your most effective ministry

will come out of

your deepest hurts. The things you're most embarrassed about, most

ashamed of, and

most reluctant to share are the very tools God can use most

powerfully to heal others. "

" The Purpose Driven Life " , Rick Warren, pg 275

2 Corintheians 12:7-10 - repeatedly entreated God to take away

his " thorn in the

flesh " , which some think may have been epilepsy, but learned to

accept it and all his other

difficulties because they served to remind him to depend on God,

rather than self.

" God himself made us what we are and gave us new lives in Christ

Jesus, and long ages

ago he planned that we should spend those lives helping others. "

Ephesians 2:10 (Living

Bible)

>

> Warning-this may be long and depressing, but I really need to get

it

> out and I feel I have no where to turn.

I REALLY REALLY need a hug right now.

> For those of you brave enough to actually read this, kudos. I'm

> impressed. if you made it this

> far, thank you very much for the sympathetic shoulder. (im just

> gonna pretend, ok?)

[Guest guest]

Kara,

lots of hugs from me to you. I'm sorry that you are hurting today (or

the 13th - sorrry I was gone so I wasn't able to help that day). I hope

MR. P has settled down some today. If your doctor is giving you that

much trouble, find a new one. I've had to do that a time or too. After

all you (or your insurance) is paying her to help you. If she isn't,

stop paying her and find one more worthy of you. As for continueing

with school, it will have to be your decision. I also had problems with

pancreatitis when I was in college, however, at that time I was only

have the occasionaly acute attack, not the chronic that I am dealing

with now. As it was, I had to take a year off and then go back when I

was feeling better. As for the TC/ICT, research it as much as you can,

but I have known some people in the group to have had it done and have

gotten back their lives because of it. The doctor that I've heard

recommended the most for this surgery is Dr. Sutherland in

Minnesota. I think if you go to the PAI Yahoo site and look at the

doctors database on the database page, you can get his contact

information.. Maybe talking with either him or his secretary Anne Marie

Pappas, it will help you decide if you really want to go through with

this right now.

Anytime you want to talk and I'm online, feel free to contact me via IM.

Or you can even call me if you want to actually hear a voice since I'm

not all that far from you. I think I email you my phone numbers. If I

haven't, ask me for them and I'll email them to you.

Kimber

--

Kimber

Vallejo, CA

hominid2@...

Note: All advice given is personal opinion, not equal to that of a licensed

physician or health care professional.