Kara - Hang in there

[Guest guest]

Dear Kara:

I have read your posts with great sympathy. It sounds flippant to say

" been there, done that " but I think I really do understand what you're

going through. Keep in contact with this group - they've helped me

keep my sanity and my sense of humor, and I honestly think they've

saved my life.

When I first experienced the excruciating pain of acute pancreatitis

and was hospitalized for 5 days, I was also a community college

student. I was able to catch up on what I'd missed and complete that

semester. However, when the next semester began and I was enrolled in

several more classes, I found I couldn't keep up - too sick, too

tired, etc. It seemed that learning about CP, getting to doctor

appointments, studying nutrition, and so forth was a full-time effort.

I had 2 part-time jobs, besides school, and I just could not keep up.

At the time, I was afraid I'd always feel that tired, and sick, and

depressed. But it got better. It took a lot more time, but the

priority is health and well-being. And family. School and work may

seem to be very important, but when we have to prioritize - what means

the most to you? Maybe you can't do it all - not right now, anyway.

It's discouraging, but it's not the end of the world.

What if it were the end? If you knew you had only a few months to

live? Would you spend them at work and school? Since I had a

previous brush with mortality, I've tried to remember that each day is

a gift and that each evening I want to be satisfied with how I spent

my time.

So I won't be finishing my degree as soon as I'd hoped. In fact, it's

dragged out several more years that I'd hoped. But things do have a

way of working out. I love the quote at the end of one of our

member's e-mails that paraphrased means things work out best for those

who make the best of how things work out.

I agree with a couple of the members who've encouraged you to do what

you can, and not to give up on your dreams. But taking the time to

take care of yourself, even if it means delaying the fulfillment of

your dream, isn't going to put an end to your college degree. Try not

to stress out about the funding. Your counselor at school wants you

there and will help you. Ask for help from all your professors.

Don't be discouraged if one gives you a negative response. Not

everyone will be sympathetic and understanding, unfortunately. But I

think you'll be surprised how many people do want to help.

And it often does get better... it has for me. I'm working almost

full-time and have completed another semester (just 1 class!) and am

slowly but steadily adding up my credits. Working gives me the

medical insurance I need, and I love my job. I've also been able to

get college credits for my job! My employer allows me to work from

home some of the time, and if I'm having a bad week pain-wise, I'll

leave work early and make up the time another day.

Each one of us with CP is different. I guess I'm one of the lucky

ones that doesn't have severe, constant pain and nausea. In fact, my

symptoms seem to rotate - 1 week of nausea, then a week of horrible

gas, then a good week, then a week of pain/pressure in the chest...

But only one symptom at a time! I take daily meds, but so far it

doesn't interfere with concentration. I'm able to cook low-fat meals

and enjoy them after many, many months of trial and error. And though

I've been married and divorced and on my own for many years, I depend

on my Mom and Dad for so many things. And they seem to like to be

needed. When I'm doing better, I do what I can for them, but I accept

their help, too. Let your family help you if they can.

This has turned out to be a very long message. Sorry, everyone. I

hope, Kara, that I can encourage you to hang in there. It does get

better, really. Having the kind support of this group will be of

utmost importance during the bad times. We all wish you the best.

Aloha,

Chris