busy reading posts

[Guest guest]

Been reading the posts from the last few weeks and it kind of scares

me when I read some of the things that you all have had to go

through. When I read Andres comments about not all horror stories, I

really identified with that. I am so afraid of my future!!

On the other hand Laurie, I appreciated so much of the information

you provided..Kimber and thanks for the " hello again " .. I'm

sorry that you have diabetes..Patty I wish I could give you a big hug

and tell you to live for today, and be happy for each day that you

have. There is no point going through life looking through the rear

view mirrow. We all have parts of our past that we would rather not

have..but that is part of growth and healing. I was called today from

the dr office and asked to come in asap and so that freaks me out a

lot. Maybe it's just nothing but I do know that tests were done the

day I had such a bad attack. That's a week now, and tho the pain

is " average " it leans heavily on the border line. I had such a

difficult time at work today, feeling nauseated, feeling weak,

feeling pain and it makes me wonder how so many of you that have been

dealing with this go to work day after day. I just wanted to come and

sit in a corner and suck my thumb and feel sorry for myself. Do any

of you get worse pain when you are very emotional? I had a

very " traumatic night " about 10 days ago and had instant pain..then a

few days later was when I had the attack. I'm wondering if that

brought it on. My doc says there is no explaining why I get it..and

it seems that I am hearing different from the group. Someone, sorry I

forgot who, said something about finding the reasons for the pain.

That makes me feel there are reasons. Sorry if I'm rambling..I'm just

very needy, lonely and scared tonight. I am so in awe of how you all

seem to be so strong and wish I could be more that way.

My best to everyone..Tum

[Guest guest]

Tum,

I am sorry to hear you are having a hard time. But I had to comment on what

you said about not being strong. You are strong! You fight this disease every

day and you have the strength to do it! Be proud of yourself! When I get kind

of down and feel like I can't take anymore and people tell me well you don't

look sick! I think of a song that I love by Twila Paris. It says, They don't

know that I come running home when I fall down. They don't know that I cry when

noone is around. Then it says Deep inside this armour ,the warrior is a child.

So every now and then we all are the child inside and not the warrior and it

is o.k! Some days we are the child and some days the warrior but we still

fight! My faith really gets me through some days when I know I don't have enough

strength of my own. Hang in there! I am thinking of you and consider yourself

hugged!!!

Angie in SC

" The happiest of people don't necessarily have the

best of everything; they just make the best of everything that comes along

their way. "