Re: to Sandy in CA

June 3, 2005

Sandy, oh so true,

sometimes I think some of the docs need to have just

one good attacks to show them how this disease hurts

and then they would know how to effectivly treat it.

Or at the least they should have to perform the

procedures on each other before doing us!!!! Then

maybe we'd see a difference in everything. I haven't

had a stent since '00 and that was enough for me.

sandy

reno

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October 29, 2005

Your are right, I do have a hard time talking about my feelings,

especially bad feeling, or fearful ones. That is why I write. I

have been riting since I was 8 years old. Have had several published

in local and state mags. It is my release. I scribble my feelings

in this little journal, some I share but most are just my own

personal release. Like a diary I guess, that rhymes or haiku's.

I have tried to talk with my friends about my fears but then it only

frightens them and then I feel quitly for making them upset. I used

to have a priest I trusted, but he has moved on. My husband, well

just cant be bothered. I am so glad that I have all of you to open

up with, I know that you understand and will open up in return. I am

forver grateful fot that. I dont know what I would have done without

ya'll.

I am just so terrified at the prospect of having yet again another

big operation. They just never work out for me and I always end up

worse. I need to face reality that there is a good chance I will

never return to my profession. We'll see. I " m not trying to be a

downer, just realistic.

Thanks again for your kind words and support. I hope you are doing

well.

Warmly,

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