Re: : Teratoma cysts

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

thank you for sharing your story. It sounds horrifying too. I have

found that it is therapuetic to talk to other's about things like this

that have similar experiences. My first year after that awful

surgery, I found that I had verbal diarrhea about it....I had to talk,

talk, talk. even to stranges it seemed........now, after five years, I

find that I can't say much about it or even want to think about it.

Which is good I think, because it means I am not so obsessed

over the events and am over the " why me's " . Interesting too that

we went through similar things at about the same time.

My theory about what went wrong with me is that when they

removed the intestine and other organs to do the abdominal

washout, that the pancreas was either directly harmed by

manipulation or that the blood supply was temporarily or

intermittently obstructed causing me to have that acute attack

during the surgery. You are so right that manipulating the

intestines in that manner has got to be the most painful type of

surgery. I know , who had something simialr, was told

by her surgery that this is one of the most painful procedures. I

know it ranks right up there with grossness! Also what you

mentioned about blood and body fluid sticking to organs and

causing damage is right on too. In my case, it wasn't blood but

the exudent from the infections. I had adhesions and

obstructions to the intestines all over at that time, I am hoping

that the adhesions are limited now. Know way to tell....but there

is always a little concern in the back of my head about them and

that they may cause another bowel obstruction. Interestingly,

there is a possibility that our similarities with ovarian cysts and

pancreatitis could be the surgeries, not the cysts themselves.

Maybe it was the fluid accumulation in the abdomen or the

manipulation of our innards during surgery. I was told too, that it

is very hard to get things back inside in the exact same place. As

well as the healing that may lead to adhesions tugging and

pulling and twisting our abdominal stuff.

From what you have posted about a possible link to ovarian

cysts and pancreatitis, as well as the inpu form others, has

piqued my curiosity. I am going to see if I can find anything in the

literature. But the idea that your gyn doctor mentioned - the

endometriosis attaching itself to the pancreas is sound I would

think. That tissue can go anywhere and it can be catastrophically

damaging. A friend of mine had emergency surgery for a

perforated bowel a few weeks before my first surgery in May

2000 because the endo ate through her intestine. She was one

very, very sick person. I think she ended up with multiply

surgeries and hospital stays. She is doing real well now though.

I agree that supressed anger is damaging and while I am still

very hurt and have no respect for that doctor, I do not feel that I

am in turmoil anymore about her. That first year I was very

depressed and confused........But I have made personal peace

within I think....I still maintain a certain degree of skepticism

though and I make sure that she gets no referrals from me or the

people I work for. They are well aware of what she did to me. I

wanted to file a complaint against her but when I started the

process I was warned that I was putting my job in danger (we

work for the same employer). So I dropped any formal compalint

process. You are so right about doctors being unprofessional

and that their behaviour should have given us a clue. But like

you, I felt I had no choice and really, she was the first doctor that I

interacted with as an adult patient. Even though I work with

doctors, I was still under the illusion that the " first, do no harm "

was a deep seated philosophy for each doctor. My biggest

examples of her being unprofessional to me was her comment

when I came in for an unscheduled follow-up two weeks

post-surgery (my wound had burst, I was vomitting and had a

temp of 102.x). Her comment? first was that a temperature of

102.x was " normal " because many people have higher temps

than others.....and then when she asked what kind of activity I

was doing, I mentioned that I owned and operated a very small

agricultural " farm " and that I was doing light work there a few

hours a day....her response had something to do with " no

wonder you look so bad if you are out there slopping around with

the pigs " . I was stunned and had no response to her. When I

went back two weeks later for my scheduled follow-up (which

was over four weeks from my surgery date) I was even sicker

and couldn't walk, etc. Even my home nurse was a little

concerned. She ordered an ultrasound to check for gallstones

(where she came up with that , who knows?) and then called me

that night at home to tell me that I no longer was her patient and

that if I felt I needed to see another doctor that I should feel free

to do so. But that she recommended that I stay home and get a

handle on my pain issues. Here I was, getting sicker and sicker

and she abandoned me. A week after that, July 3rd.... I woke up

at 6:00 in the morning and just knew I was in big trouble. I got my

husband and we drove to the hospital where I contacted the

surgeon who first evaluated me in May before he handed me off

to the gyn surgeon. He was kind enough to intercept me in the

ER so I went straight to his clinic insteand (the best thing that

could happen in that scenario) and he saw me walking down the

hall towards him and admitted me on the spot. We did a CT and

the radiologist thought I had ruptured a bowel so he scared the

living daylights out of me by saying that I shouldn't move, at all!

Because it was the 4th of July holiday, I didn't have surgery until

the 5th. The good surgeon had me on potent antibiotics hoping

that this would get rid of the infection. But I kept getting sicker

and sicker. He did an exploratory laparotomy after he figured out

that laparoscopic surgery wasn't going to cut it. I had multiple

pockets of pus (4 or 5) and it cultured out normal body flora...so it

was not a rupture of anything related to the GI tract. I was very,

very sick during the recovery stage and things were made worse

by that bad gyn surgeon. Before I had the surgery, she would

come into my room a few times a day and tell me to not let the

good surgeon operate on me again, that I would regret it. The

day after the surgery, when I had tubes coming out of, or going in

to me from every orifice, she dares to tell me that it was all my

fault....that she warned me about going into that surgery....that it

was needless and that the good surgeon pressured me. She

did that for two or three days after my surgery when I was getting

sicker and sicker. All I could do was cry all day long because in

my mind haze, I took what she said to heart....that is was all my

fault. I never mentioned this to my good surgeon until many

months after I was recovering and he reassured me over and

over again that I was hours away from dieing that Monday when I

went to his clinic and that if he didn't do that surgery on the 5th

that I wouldn't have lasted more than a day after that.

Intellectually I know he is right....but still there is this voice in my

head that tells me at times, that this is all my fault like that bad

surgeon said. So as a result of all this.....my cynicism and

skepticism over doctors has increased so much. It seemed to

validate my early idea that they should be avoided at all costs.

Thankfully I have a great pain management doctor that I see for

my medications. She is the only doctor that I trust to a certain

extent, although I am in fear that she too, will " abandon " me.....I

have this big abandonment complex now.

Anyways that is part of my long story........

I am going to research the possibility of ovarian cysts - pancreas

problems relationship. I always wondered if my two are related

in a way because they are both a result of a birth defect that

occured during fetal development: the pancreas divisum and the

teratomas. I wonder what other birth defects I might have......I

wonder what my mom was doing when she was pregnant with

me!! LOL (although I would never, never say that to her........)

As far as teratomas are concerned.....I was told that the type I

had (mature) are not cancerous. It is the immature teratomas (I

think) that are. Although you can never say never. And once they

are completely gone, they are not suppose to recur. Those that

do, are supposedly because the surgeon either missed very

small ones in the original surgery so they remained to grow....or

she didn't get all of the original tumor. Seeing that I have no

confidence in her abilities, I woudn't be surprised if one or the

other did happen. But they are very slow growers so I figure I

have another forty years before I will see evidence of a recurring

cyst in my remainig ovary. I will be in my 80s by then if I am still

here on earth. Hopefully in that event, there will be better

surgeons out there. I will never, under any circumstance short of

near death, go to a gyn doctor again. NEVER! as far as I am

concerned they are the scum of the earth........(although I will

acknowledge that there are probably some very good ones out

there...just extremely rare). I will take the risk to go it alone.

I will let you know if I find out anything interesting concerning the

link.......

Laurie

(PS...I do not have access to a computer on weekends, hence

my delay in responding to you. I enjoy our conversations too!)