Guest guest Posted June 18, 2005 Report Share Posted June 18, 2005 Thanks so much for the words of encouragement and advice. I feel comforted knowing that I am doing and thinking the right thing. I am definitely going to be more communicative with his doctors and I am going to contact all of the ER's that he goes to, to give them a heads up. Brock had a Frey Procedure in January by Dr. LeGrand Belnap at St. Marks Hospital in SLC. In my opinion he has done much better with his pancrease since the procedure was done. His attacks are no way as extreme as they were before the surgery. I know this because he has not doubled over and cried because the pain is so great since the surgery. Last night, I ignored him all night. Worked in my flower garden until 11:30 pm, so he wouldn't pull the old my stomach hurst because of the punch I got at dinner. It worked until about 8:00 am this morning. He went to a third different hospital. I never take him, he takes himself and then calls me for a ride home. So now he is going two 3 different hospitals. I was so ticked off when I picked him up because one this hospital is about 25 miles away from my house. I had to stop and get gas after I picked him up and he went in to the gas station and bought a corn dog. YES A CORN DOG! One of the very worst things he could possible eat. On the way home I approached him in a different way than I have in the past. I said Brock, I don't want the hospitals to think that you are drug seeking. When you go to 3 different ER's it maks you look bad. Someday you are going to go into one of these hospitals and they are going to refuse you help. What are you going to do when you really need it. His excuse for not going to the hospital he should go to was because a certain docotor was on duty and he didn't like him. His excuse for not going to the hospital that is closest was because it was to busy and he didn't want to wait, so he went to the furthest hospital way. Right now he is on the couch asleep and I'm sure he will be that way until tonight. He won't go to the hospital tonight but I bet that he trys to go tomorrow night. So this week he has gone to the ER 4 times. I am so frustrated with they system. The doctors and hospitals do not communicate at all. Some you have asked about Brock and my relationship status. Brock is 28 and I am 35. I live in Provo, Utah and he lives in Orem, Utah with his mother. His family refuses to help Brock in any way shape or form. Their family relationships are very strained. His mother is Border Line Personality Disorder, Narcissistic, and very very verbally abusive. She would help a complete stranger, before she did anything for her children. Brocks father passed away when he was 8, in an accident. We are supposed to get married on August 12, but I am very concerned about moving forward. It will be my first marriage and his second. He was married to his 1st wife long before he had pancreatitis. He was diagnosed with it during our 6 years together. He does not work at all. Just lays on the coch and watches television. Doesn't brush his teeth, shower etc. He is on SSI disability. I have asked Brock on several occasions to look at this board and read some of stories and postings. In fact I asked him to do so last night and he said " Why do I need to listen to other people, so they can tell me what to do. " I explained to him that you guys are all in the same boat that he is in, and that I had learned a great deal about pancreatitis and that it was great to know that we are not alone in dealing with this disease. He has an excuse for everything he does or doesn't do. He thinks that he is the exception to all rules. HE IS VERY HARD HEADED. I have printed off many email's that I have received from everyone and had him read them. Of course his response is always, " That is not me, I don't have that problem. My body is different. " Then goes on to explain why he is different. ALWAYS AN EXCUSE. Thanks for letting me know I am doing and thinking the right thing. I just don't want him to end up dead from all the pain medication. We have spent 6 years together and he has hand pancreatitis for about 4 1/2 years of that. I do love him, as I have said before this is not the Brock that I knew before. Thanks Again, Sam Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 22, 2005 Report Share Posted June 22, 2005 Sam, I've been reading all your posts about your problems with Brock, and this last one has forced me to come out of my shell and make some observations. What I see Brock doing now is clearly drug seeking behavior. He's at his third ER in a week, not going to one because there's a doctor there who he doesn't like, (this doctor probably has already lectured him or given him a warning about drug abusing, or perhaps even denied him meds), and not going to the other because it was too busy...... Hogwash! It wasn't too busy for him to go to all the other times, was it? He may already have gotten a lecture or refusal at that hospital, too. I personally think that Brock has reached a very dangerous point and needs intervention as soon as possible. His excuses don't work with me. As a non-partial outsider, I can see it more clearly than someone who is closer to him and has been with him. I admire you so much for hanging in there and being there for Brock, and for trying to help him deal with these life altering changes. You are such a very good and caring individual that I hate to see you hurt by Brock's actions, but he's leading you down a dangerous path and you need to get him off of this route as quickly as you can, before your relationship is destroyed by his drug seeking behavior. He needs to be under the direct supervision of a gastroenterologist, and preferably, a pain management consultant/physician. The latter is preferable because these professionals deal with people like Brock on a daily basis, where the gastroenterologist is really trained to just deal with his physical problems, and doesn't have the time or expertise to deal with a person with addiction problems. Could the gastroenterologist that treats Brock now recommend a pain managment physician for him? Is it possible for you to call this GI, explain Brock's problems and behavior, (nightly visits to the ER for pain meds), and get him to refer Brock immediately to a PM doctor? Something like this needs to be done right away, or Brock's going to use up all his avenues for relief by being put on the black list at all the local ER's. Once that happens, he'll never be able to get any ER help unless he's accompanied by a doctor each time. You really need to get his doctor involved in this, first, to help him get the correct pain meds for relief at home, and secondly, to oversee his ER visits to assure that they are for a legitimate purpose. If he's on the right type and dosage of pain meds with monthly or bi-monthly appointments with a PM doctor, he shouldn't have need to go to the ER except in the rarest of circumstances. If his GI can't get that involved in this aspect of Brock's treatment, it's okay, many can't and won't. That's why the pain management doctor plays such an important role. Once they can get Brock on the right medication, he would be able to cut down on those weekly ER visits. It's imperative that someone get something like this established immediately, before it's too late for Brock. I know you've worked very hard to help him, and I truly hope that he appreciates your attention, because a lot of other people would have walked away bynow. This is just one more thing that you need to work through with him, and it may be difficult, but if you don't get him under control and supervision as soon as you can, any hope of a good marriage together is lost. He isn't such a rare individual that his problems are unique, we are all in much the same boat when it comes to this disease, and we all have to deal with similar problems. Please get him the right help before he runs out of unsatisfactory excuses. We'll help you through it any way that we can. With love, hope and prayers, Heidi Heidi H. Griffeth www.pancassociation.org/anthology#Heidi.html Bluffton, SC SC State & SE Regional Representative Pancreatitis Association, International www.health.groups.yahoo.com/group/pancreatitis/ Note: All comments or advice are personal opinion only, and should not be substituted for professional medical consultation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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