A little humor

[Guest guest]

Hi Everyone

I got this as my joke of the day, and thought it was really worth sharing.

Have a great day!

Carla

MGB 12-15-00

<< BARBIE'S LETTER TO SANTA

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Dear Santa,

Listen you fat little troll, I've been helping you out every year, playing at

being the perfect Christmas present, wearing skimpy bathing suits in

frigid weather, and drowning in fake tea from too many tea parties. I

hate to break it to you Santa, but it is DEFINITELY pay back time!!

There had better be some changes around here this Christmas, or

I'm gonna call for a nationwide meltdown (and trust me, you don't want

to be around to smell it!) So, here's my holiday wish list for this year,

Santa.

1. A nice, comfy pair of sweat pants and a frumpy, oversized sweatshirt.

I'm sick of looking like a hooker. How much smaller are these bathing suits

gonna get? Do you have any idea what it feels like to have nylon and velcro

up your butt?

2. Real underwear that can be pulled on and off. Preferably white. What

bonehead at Mattel decided to be cheap and mold imitation underwear

to my skin? It looks like cellulite!!!

3. A REAL man....maybe G.I.Joe. Hell, I'd take Tickle-Me-Elmo over that

wimped out excuse for a boy-toy Ken. And what's with the earring anyway?

If I'm going to have to suffer with him, for christ's sakes, make us

anatomically

correct.

4. Arms that actually bend so I can push the aforementioned Ken-wimp

away once he is anatomically correct.

5. Breast reduction surgery. I don't care whose arm you have to twist,

just do it!!

6. A jog-bra. To wear until I get the surgery.

7. A new career. Pet doctor and school teacher just don't cut it. How about

a systems analyst? Or better yet, a public relations senior account exec!!

8. A new, more 90's persona. Maybe a " PMS Barbie " , complete with a

miniature container of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream and a bag

of chips; " Animal Rights Barbie " , with my very own paint gun, fitted with

fake fur coat, bottle of spray blood and handcuffs; or " Stop Smoking Barbie " ,

sporting a Nicotrol patch and equipped with several packs of gum.

9. No more Mc's endorsements. The grease is wrecking my vinyl.

10. mattel stock options. It's been 37 years-I think I deserve it!

Okay Santa, that's it. considering my valuable contribution to society,

I don't think these requests are out of line. If you disagree, then you can

find yourself a new bitch for next Christmas. It's that simple.

Yours truly,

Barbie