significicant others and chronic P

August 10, 2005

Well

Since my last Pain doctor the nazi man got to my man an dout ideas

in his head about pain and maybe its in the head my relationship has

changed.

I also have taken another slant from my mum, yes teh mums wisdom

men can not cope with seeing us in pain they want to fix it when

all we want is for them to listen.

I have shied away from sharing my pain stress and my day with my

partner. Its harder and as I sai dto the pain team it has mad me

even more isolated. truth is men cant handle listening to us. they

just cant cope.

so we have to cope more. I thougth he wa supportive of me an dth

estress casuing pain et and wwork and its stresses and meds etc all

having an effect only to tire to have it all thrown back at me

to say hey why dont you just cruis eg give 60 pecent dont go for the

100 percent

I in tunr said hey well ok you are at uno dont try for that a just

get a a C. Hey in ya ne wjob dont do the extras just coast, well

whenI turned it aroudn like that it hits them square between the eys.

but the upshot of it is as I sai dto himn tonight I dont try and

discuss it with him anything now it s thrown back in my face or ge

give sme th enazi mans side or otehr sides hey all I want is uspport

I dont give a .... about the other side its me not them thats impt.

So I have told less and less, actually theres very little now I do

discuss re pain treatment and job and stress

I just staretd back part time after my head inuury and well my boss

has been trying to squeeze targets and 40 hr into 9 hence I am upset

and he says well hey you can do these things round th ehome . I said

well doc and occup therapist disagree and this is there path for

success its the old addage hey you look ok

I dont know I wa son the path of get some things back in my life

meet some new people try soem new things I have tired leadlighting

and patchwork quilting etc in the last 2 weeks, and protect myself,

now I am beginning to see what my mum has said is true dont discuss

pain and stuff with him talk to her..

isnt wisdom a wonderful thing and hindsight 20/20

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