Update saw pain Psych and Pain doc

August 18, 2005

Well

I went to the psych today shes kinda nice. I bumped into my pain doc

an daske dhim WHEN is the intercostal block happening.

he said ooo thats anotehr dept. I shook my head,

My appt was with the Pysch. I layed it on the line sai dmy

constipation is so bad I take up to 9 fleet enemas and then maybe

maybe not I will go. MY body is no longer absoprbing vitamisn and

iron from my body and bowel. eg I have an iron count of 4 should be

24. I said that my partner has been thru enough and I risk losing

him , The previous pain doc I said has done irrecoverable damage to

our relationship and the way eh decsribe dmy pain being wind up and

controllable by my mind. This ha sleft me isolated and I can no

longer talk to him as he fears or worries what or when I will end up

in hospital. I sai I still have no plan in the ER. I said do I need

to complain get my mum to send an email it on the floor what to get

soem action, I explained taht I am running out of enrgy and am at

the point of giving up. My partner ha said last week his life is a

misery he cant plan anything ahead.He feels miserable. he also sais

taht I have so many problems eg and implied maybe I am the problem.

All of this hurt me very deeply and I know that before that botched

gallbladder surgery my life was great. I apologised for being a

burden, theres not much more I can do as I explained to them. I need

the pain implant, I have had my nerves severed , the new meds they

have given me have left me in mor epain on top of no energy, severe

anemia and low hemaglobin. I said I dont want to be back in the

hospital.

I explaien dI risk losing everything if something is not done, and

since the nazi pain doc I now no longer can talk with my partner, my

mum who I talk with goes away for 6 weeks and I am alone then.

I said do I need to yell, lie on the floor ??? is it just being

brushed because I am walking or I look good????

She then said that I am the only one they deal with that has or can

do the pressure job I do

I said well, I have run out of energy.So I think I will ring mum

tonight and get hd rto email the top guy and state it like it is....

It seems to be th eonly way, going quietly does nothing.

I said the pain is wearing me out, and enrgywise I am at teh end. I

need to resolve and sort this . She was going to talk to my pain

doc. But i think hitting the top may be the only way.

Arghhhhhhh

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