Odd question but maybe ya'll can help

[Guest guest]

I am trying to rejoin the work force but I am in a bit of a quandry.

How should I explain my lengthy absence. I dont really want to say

that I was too sick to work and the whole rig-a-roll with those

surgeries. They may think of me as a handicap, a risk of further

problems down the road. Legally I dont have to tell them a thing,

but I am not a very good liar.

I had a sort of interview the other day and said that my absence was

due to " needing to take some time off to straighten out some personal

issues " . Its technically not a lie, but not the truth either. I

think it was obvious I was hiding something. This guy was such a

letch tho. He was more interested in taking me out for a drink (said

that) then my getting a job. He actually said that I was very

attractive and would bring a warm something or another to the

office. I cant remember the xact words I was in shock. Hey I aint

that cute and was dressed very very conservatively. I got the

feeling the position he had in mind for me had nothing to do with the

office. That upset me so much. I hate men!! I stood up said thank

you for your time and walked out. I am really over qualified for the

job but thought it would allow me to get more involved in diabetic

education.

So what do ya'll think. How should I explain my year and a half

absence from the work force. Also, I dont know if this is an issue

or not. but I have asked my surgeon to write me a letter of medical

release. I have asked his secretary once and him once via email and

have gotten no response what so ever. If I were to tell the truth as

to what has happened, I need something from somebody saying that I am

well enough to go back to work. I know that I will never be able to

do the hustle and bustle run till you drop positions ever again. but

I am a damn good nurse, there has to be a place for me somewhere.

That jerk the other day really broke my heart and trashed my spirit.

I look forward to hearing what ya'll think.

Thanks

(SC)

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

first of all....don't let that jerk get to you. There are many guys out

there like that but there are also many guys out there that are

sincerely nice and will respect you as a person as well as a

woman. Set your standards high, including how you view

yourself, and that will get you to the right place with employers

and co-workers. Never underestimate your ability or

personality.....and don't make that jerk's problems yours! Do not

try to blame or belittle yourself for the way he interacted with you.

As far as how to explain your absences.......My thinking is that a

work-place in heatlh care, one that is a place that you want to

work at, will be understanding of your explanation. I think it will

make you feel better if you can be honest about the time off. Say

it had to do with personal health issues but that the worst is over.

I am thinking that you need to be somewhat upfront with things

because there is no telling how it will impact your work at various

times in the next years or so. I wouldn't go into too much detail at

the initial interview. The thing is to make yourself so attractive to

the employer that when it gets to the nitty-gritty (the offering of the

job) they may be more willing to give you the benefit of the doubt.

In addition, legally they cannot discriminate against you because

of health, but that is a really hard thing to prove. But it does give

you some comfort.

I am also thinking that a health care office / services should be

more understanding of illness. And I am wondering if you can

make that one of your strengths and uniqueness over other

candidates. That is, if you just brush on your absence due to

illness you may divert the conversation by mentioning that you

think it will make you especially qualified for the job because you

have a better understanding of what the patients are going

through (or something like that - taiored for the specific

interview). Especially if you are looking for jobs in the diabetes

or GI or endocrine or surgery specialities............

I am also thinking that if you interview with places that are

familiar with your work history, your absence this last year or so

will not be that big a deal. If people focus on this, I would try to

steer the conversation to the years that you did work. Like " yeah I

was absent for 1 1/2 years but I did floor nursing for 12 " or

something like that. So that it puts the time frame a little more

into prespective.

It is not that unusual for people now-a-days to have a gap in their

work history. From what I have heard and read, it is not so much

the gap itself that causes concern as it is that the person has no

explanation for it. If you explain it upfront, candidly and with

dignity (while keeping the gory details to yourself) I think that will

impress the interviewer with your strength of character. Don't

forget that battling and overcoming illness is a good indicator of

a strong will and it may be that this is the one thing that will make

you stand out (in a good way) with the interviewer.

Just some thoughts that came to mind......

laurie

[Guest guest]

,

Forget about that jerk and mark that job off your list. Could you

even imagine having to work with a sleeze like that, having to steer

clear of him or push off his advances every day? You'd be miserable,

and before you knew it, the guy would be going off to the ER with his

mouth, (or something else...lol!), completely mangled from where you

punched or kicked him....

In all seriousness, I don't think you should try to hide your absence

from the work force with any frivolous excuses. If questioned, you

might just explain that you needed some time off for some personal

health issues resulting in several surgical procedures, which resulted

in necessary recuperative time. I'd stress that the surgery was

necessary so that you could CONTINUE to work effectively and to

continue your career, and that the surgery was very successful with no

anticipated problems that would further interfere with your career.

You should make it sound as though the surgery was necessary so that

you could continue to be active and healthy in your career field, and

that it was a positive step forward....instead of being a sickly,

often absent employee who showed up every day just to collect a pay

check and spent all her time complaining about how bad she felt. There

are plenty of people out there who are just like that, but show them

that you're not one of them. You had a medical problem and chose to

take the time off to take care of it so you could be less of a health

risk to the company you worked for. That type of attitude of

postivity and honesty, I think, would be most impressive. And then

with a letter from the surgeon attesting to your physical ability to

rejoin the work force, it would be all on the up and up and sound very

sincere.

I don't think that direct of a question about the skip in your dates

of employment would be asked on the first interview, but even if it

was, honesty is always the best way to go, but brevity in your

explanation is all that's required in an initial interview, too.

Don't go into all the gory details until you're hired and have made

your first promotion......lol! By law, I don't think they can pry for

too many details about a health absence from work, as long as you can

assure them that you are capable of working full time again. There

are too many laws now that protect the privacy of the individual for

them to dig too deep, and you needn't go into any detail, (unless you

want to), except that it was health related and the problems have been

solved.

I hope this helps, dearie, and that next time you get someone who's a

real professional, not a sleezeball like last time. BTW, how did you

transport yourself to this interview, is the cop cruiser really

wrecked, or maybe just dinged up a little bit? I didn't see an update

on the accident that Alison had, so is the car okay, or did you have

to give it it's last rites?

With love, hope and prayers,

Heidi

Heidi H. Griffeth

www.pancassociation.org/anthology#Heidi.html

Bluffton, SC

SC State & SE Regional Representative

Pancreatitis Association, International

Note: All comments or advice are based on personal experiences or

opinion only, and should not be substituted for professional medical

consultation.

[Guest guest]

,

First of all, I don't think there is anything wrong with saying that

you had medical issues, and that they are now under control and you

are managing them well. I'm a Human Resources Director for a large

national company and I do appreciate an applicant's honesty. There

is nothing to be ashamed of because you've been too ill to work. I

actually would appreciate someone who would voluntarily leave the

workforce to deal with their health issues (vs. staying on, but

missing too frequently). Say that you didn't believe it was fair to

an employer, if you were not able to give 100%, but you are ready to

give that, and more, now.

Finally, regarding the person that interviewed you. You DO NOT HAVE

TO TAKE THAT KIND OF TREATMENT. I would encourage you to get on the

phone and report his actions to whomever you can at that company

(providing he is not at the top of the chain of command). If he is

at the top, I would still call and tell him that his comments were

inappropriate. You do not want to work there.

If I can be of any help in dealing with jerk, let me know.

Thanks,

SamT

[Guest guest]

Hey :

Unbelievable! I too would try and find someone to report this idiot

to. Amazing you write all this today, I was also thinking about

going back " out " into the work force. I work but I am at home and I

am sick of it. I don't want to do anything right now, but maybe

next year. I am giving myself enough time to really see what is

going to happen. My problem is that I live in such a small place,

that the whole doggone medical community knows me and a job is going

to be hard to comeby. My skills will certainly hold me but I too am

afraid my medical history will follow me. There is that ;problem of

insurance coverage. I am afraid that if an employer finds out I

have a " medical history " just on that basis of insurance, they would

bypass me.

I also need to come up with some kind of an answer when asked about

being out of the work force so long. Personally its none of their

business but the question gets asked anyway. Kind of like the fact

they can't ask your age, BUT they ask you when you graduated from

highschool! Duh!

BTW, if you are like me, I bet you thought of all kinds of things

you should have said to this idiot, after you left! haha

Take care

Kaye

In pancreatitis , " " <cdrrn@c...> wrote:

> I am trying to rejoin the work force but I am in a bit of a

quandry.

> How should I explain my lengthy absence. I dont really want to

say

> that I was too sick to work and the whole rig-a-roll with those

> surgeries. They may think of me as a handicap, a risk of further

> problems down the road. Legally I dont have to tell them a thing,

> but I am not a very good liar.

>

> I had a sort of interview the other day and said that my absence

was

> due to " needing to take some time off to straighten out some

personal

> issues " . Its technically not a lie, but not the truth either. I

> think it was obvious I was hiding something. This guy was such a

> letch tho. He was more interested in taking me out for a drink

(said

> that) then my getting a job. He actually said that I was very

> attractive and would bring a warm something or another to the

> office. I cant remember the xact words I was in shock. Hey I

aint

> that cute and was dressed very very conservatively. I got the

> feeling the position he had in mind for me had nothing to do with

the

> office. That upset me so much. I hate men!! I stood up said thank

> you for your time and walked out. I am really over qualified for

the

> job but thought it would allow me to get more involved in diabetic

> education.

>

> So what do ya'll think. How should I explain my year and a half

> absence from the work force. Also, I dont know if this is an

issue

> or not. but I have asked my surgeon to write me a letter of

medical

> release. I have asked his secretary once and him once via email

and

> have gotten no response what so ever. If I were to tell the truth

as

> to what has happened, I need something from somebody saying that I

am

> well enough to go back to work. I know that I will never be able

to

> do the hustle and bustle run till you drop positions ever again.

but

> I am a damn good nurse, there has to be a place for me somewhere.

> That jerk the other day really broke my heart and trashed my

spirit.

>

> I look forward to hearing what ya'll think.

> Thanks

> (SC)

[Guest guest]

,

i know the dilemma you are in about explaining your absence. I had the

same problem when I had to take off four months for my heart surgery

(which wasn't planned as the heartattack was a surprise to me). I found

just being honest by saying that I had heart surgery. But then I was

lucky in that I was working for Kaiser (medical hospital/HMO) and they

took me back even though I was a temp. You could just say you had

surgery to fix a health issue and now that you are better, you are

returning to work. You don't have to go into detail in explaining WHAT

the exact problem was.

Kimber

--

Kimber

Vallejo, CA

hominid2@...

Note: All advice given is personal opinion, not equal to that of a licensed

physician or health care professional.

[Guest guest]

> Why do you feel the need to explain anything about your absence? If

someone asked me, I say, 'why do you ask " ? Now, after my boss had to

call 911 because I was out cold....I of course shared it with her and

she comes to visit me in the hospital and she does keep it private.

People do know about my xplant. I had to file paperwork with benefits,

employee services, payroll, etc..LOA cordinator..so, yeah, at this

stage people pretty much know but they are supportive and respect my

privacy and leave cards on my desk. It's awesome to have that support

at work. But anyway, yeah....I never feel the need to explain to anyone

what I do or don't do away from work. It's no one business, period. You

don't have to answer to anyone as long as your time is approved, etc or

however your company works-Kathleen