Re: Depressed to

[Guest guest]

Dear ,

Last night I tried to post this, but our stupid server went offline

for several hours. I hate it when it does that and I have something

special I planned to do!! If you remember, SC " adopted " you as one

of ours during our chat session last spring, , and I worry

extra special about one of our girls. Although you may feel right

now that your life is falling apart right in front of you, it

isn't.....but you HAVE been dealt more trouble this week than anyone

could handle with a calm and optimistic reaction. You're entitled to

your pity party, for sure.

The news about your job must be devastating. I know that if I were

in your shoes, with my job on the line, and my much needed essential

insurance at risk, I would be in a total panic. I had something very

similar to this happen to me, only months after my dear father-in-law

unexpecedly passed away, and at the time I thought that nothing was

ever going to work out again. But it did. And not having the

support and backup you need from your spouse must be an additional

kick in the stomach.....so dear, your depressed state of mind is much

understood.

Trying to deal with an insensitive husband is probably not what you

need to worry about right now, so try to put him on the back burner

until you have the time and fortitude to deal with his behavior. Much

of his reaction may be based on his own health conditions and lack

of suitable medication to control his responses. You need to

remember that, but you also don't need to add any fuel to that fire

right now when your major task is to locate another job. To do that,

you need to be unencumbered mentally, free of as much stress as

possible, (under the circumstances), and with a mind set that is

geared toward presenting yourself favorably to another employer.

Engaging into verbal combat with a spouse who has extreme personality

and behavior fluctuations isn't what you need to be involved in now.

Too bad you couldn't ship hubby off to his parents or a friends house

for a couple weeks, because you don't need his negativity and spoiled

attitude upsetting you at the present time. Well, actually not at

ANY time, but you know what I mean....right now it's just too much

for you to have to try to deal with.

One thing that you should do immediately is go to your state

unemployment office and register. They would, and could, try and

place you and would set up any interviews with positions in your area

that you are qualified to fill. And while they and you are searching

for a job you could fill, you would get weekly income from them,

based on your qualifications. I know it's humiliating to have to do

this, but it is your entitlement, and that check coming in every week

can help a lot. I've had to do this twice during my career when I

was laid off, and I hated doing it, but I have to admit that the

weekly income helped us tremendously. They never could place me

because I was over-qualified for anything they found in this area,

but during my searches and interviews on one occasion I was able to

locate another, better paying postion within the company where I

interviewed.

Here in SC, we have an insurance option called Cobra, which is

available to workers who are laid off, or suddenly had stoppage of

their insurance coverage, due to age, (a dependent child turning 25

and out of college), etc. I'm sure there is something similar to

this in the state of NY, and you should look into that as soon as you

can, also. Your state unemployment office would probably know who

you should call for that kind of help.

If I can think of any more helpful suggestions, I'll post again. I

just want you to feel that you aren't alone in this....although we

aren't there to talk with you personally or offer a shoulder to lean

on, please know that we are there in heart. I think you've been

dealt a tremendous blow and it must seem as though the world has

fallen on your shoulders! Please don't give up completely to

dispair, you can use us as your wailing post and vent, scream, cry

or holler here as much as you need to....we understand, and we are

here for you no matter what.....your having some rough days, but it

will get better, you know you can get through this.

If you've been that strong and capable for the past 22 years, you

know you can handle more, even though you want to just throw up your

hands and quit. Treat yourself to some private time doing something

you especially enjoy, something that you know will bring you some

peace. Take those moments of peace and use them to restore your

spirit....then you'll be able to handle what you need to in the days

ahead. Remember that we are here for you, no matter what, and we

will listen to whatever you need to talk about.

If you just need someone to vent to, talk to, or let off some steam

to, you can always call me, and I'll call you back so you don't have

a long distance bill to worry about on top of everything else. My

number is and cell is . Just try to keep

your cool and believe that things will get better, they always do.

With love, hope and prayers,

Heidi

Heidi H. Griffeth

Bluffton, SC

SC State & SE Regional Representative

Pancreatitis Association, International

Note: All comments or advice are personal opinion only, and should

not be substituted for professional medical consultation.