Thanks Angie for the support

[Guest guest]

I would absolutely adore meeting you for lunch or even just a soda.

thinks its just adhesions putting pressure on other stuff. It

is quite painful. Not nearly as bad as pancreatitis. Good Lord if I

ever felt pain like that again I know I would end it all. He,

that is, thinks things will get better and I am having faith it

will. I am not the best surgical candidate so that is an area in

which I am very hesitant to venture into. I just hate having to take

the narc again, I already went through all the withdrawels and all,

but I am just so tired an weak and need a bit of a break. I am

thinking that in a few days I will feel much better and well rested.

I hate having to put my job plans on hold again and Billy is furious

about that. In all good conscious I can not take a nursing job when

I am taking naroctics. Angie I am trying so very hard to hold onto

the faith that things happen for a reason and in time those reasons

will be evident. It is so very hard tho, I feel completely useless

and that my whole life and everything that I have worked for was in

vain. I am really and truely beginning to feel that they would all be

better off without me that I have become a burden. I hate what I

have become, so weak and powerless. Yeah guess I am having apity

party of my own. I wish to God I knew what the right answer was.

I hope the pain doc and you can come up with aplan that will

alleviate your discomfort and still keep you well minded so to

speak. An even balance between pain relief and proper mentation with

the least amount of side affects. It can happen.

I would love to talk with you any time, we seemed to really click.

Take care and I hope you are feeling a lot better and the pain doc

can work out that beatiful compramise with you. I have sumised that

comeplete pain relief is a pipe dream, its the balance between

comfort, mentation and side affects that to me has always been the

goal.

All my love Angie,