So Sick Today. Feeling Low

[Guest guest]

Hi everyone,

I know all of you feel lousy and have troubles and tribulations. I'm

too new to this to offer anything but my sympathy, because i don't

have the answers either.

I just need to vent to those who understand.

I feel so sick today. I woke up, took a shower and was so bone tired

I went to sleep again. But it was a sleep that felt sick, drained,

like I was drugged. I got up and did not feel refreshed. I feel like

my life force is draining out of me, if that makes any sense.

And I am in tears because I don't know what to do, who to turn to.

My GI's, as good as they are, don't think I have this, and I KNOW I

do. They think because my am&lip are not elevated that there is

nothing wrong with my pancreas.

I'm also very frightened. I read all of your posts and what you go

through scares the hell out of me, to be honest. What does the

future hold? IS there a future?? 8-9 months in hospitals, heart

infections because of lines, so many things to bear. It's so sad and

I wonder if that will be my life.

Thanks for listening.

Eileen

[Guest guest]

Eileen, I know EXACTLY what you mean when you say it's like the " life-force "

is draining out of you.

Jerry/NC

***********************************

On 9/10/05, whitefalconsgoddesswear

wrote:

>

> Hi everyone,

>

> I know all of you feel lousy and have troubles and tribulations. I'm

> too new to this to offer anything but my sympathy, because i don't

> have the answers either.

>

> I just need to vent to those who understand.

>

> I feel so sick today. I woke up, took a shower and was so bone tired

> I went to sleep again. But it was a sleep that felt sick, drained,

> like I was drugged. I got up and did not feel refreshed. I feel like

> my life force is draining out of me, if that makes any sense.

>

> And I am in tears because I don't know what to do, who to turn to.

> My GI's, as good as they are, don't think I have this, and I KNOW I

> do. They think because my am&lip are not elevated that there is

> nothing wrong with my pancreas.

>

> I'm also very frightened. I read all of your posts and what you go

> through scares the hell out of me, to be honest. What does the

> future hold? IS there a future?? 8-9 months in hospitals, heart

> infections because of lines, so many things to bear. It's so sad and

> I wonder if that will be my life.

>

> Thanks for listening.

>

> Eileen

>

[Guest guest]

Jerry, thank you for that.

My loved ones don't understand what I feel like. They ask me and I

tell them just what I told you, and you can see that as hard as they

try, they don't understand.

Yesterday was my birthday and I ate a piece of cake, and sure

enough...1 hour later the pancreas hurts. Oh, but they say I have

nothing wrong. *sigh*

> Eileen, I know EXACTLY what you mean when you say it's like

the " life-force "

> is draining out of you.

>

> Jerry/NC

[Guest guest]

> Jerry, thank you for that.

> My loved ones don't understand what I feel like. They ask me and I

> tell them just what I told you, and you can see that as hard as they

> try, they don't understand.

>

> Yesterday was my birthday and I ate a piece of cake, and sure

> enough...1 hour later the pancreas hurts. Oh, but they say I have

> nothing wrong. *sigh*

You're right Eileen - your loved ones don't understand. After I

joined this group and found out so much, I had so much guilt and grief

because of not being more compassionate and helpful to my son. Now,

we all have been able to rally round and support and love and

understand his depression. It is scary!!!! Who knows what the

future will bring - will it ever end, will it ever get better. All

the complications he has had, one after another, just shook us up and

yet we are just waiting for the next one to appear. It is not the

fault of those you love. This disease is so hideous and there are so

many, many different problems that stem from it that it is so so

difficult to understand. I don't want him to have this and sometimes

it is easier to pretend it really isn't happening to him. He is 28

and his life was just shut down. We just work every day to find

happiness and try so let him be alone when he needs to be and then be

at his side on the days he wants someone there. Sometimes he wants

advice and other times he wants nothing but a drink of water or just a

smile. They love you Eileen and whatever information you can give

them will help. Tell them what you need. It would be so much easier

if we didn't have to guess what was happening when would have

other problems or his pain was going crazy. Now, the sweat tells us,

or his bent over posture. Boy, when he is standing straight we are

happy - it means his pain is tolerable for awhile. While I surely

hope you don't have this disease, you have many, many friends here and

they will stand by you and teach you and listen to you and give you

anything you need. Try to let your loved ones use the internet to

learn also. It was the best thing I ever did. Blessings to you

through this ordeal. Sincerely, from Mi

[Guest guest]

Eileen,

Please try not to be frightened of things that may never even happen

to you. That kind of negative fear is so exhausting, and in your

case, could even never be part of your future. Not everyone with CP

has so many, and so drastic, problems.

I consider myself very fortunate in that I've only been hospitalized

twice in my 4-1/2 years with CP. A lot of things have happened to me

in an unusually brief period of time - CP, then pancreas burn out,

and then type 1 diabetes, all in less than 2 years! It's a record of

some sort, I'm sure.

Yet through all of that I've not had any infections, nor problems

with PIC lines, surgery, or even an ERCP for that matter! You need

to realize that the disease does different things to different

people, and it's too soon for you to be worrying about things that

may never happen to you.

I will say that I do know what you mean when you say that you woke

up, took a shower, and then went right back to bed, and that you feel

as though your life force was just draining out. I can sympathize

with that because those days of complete, utter exhaustion are

something that we've all had to deal with. To be completely honest,

I did the same thing myself today, except that I didn't even get in

the shower! It wasn't until after a 4 hour nap this afternoon that

I got into the shower. I've been feeling a lot of this exhaustion

for no good reason lately, since I still daily take all the vitamins,

minerals and antioxidants that are so essential. In my case, I

believe my thyroid medication needs to be adjusted again, since I'm

so easily fatigued and my hair has started to fall out again. The

first time this happened I learned that I was low thyroid, and as

soon as I got on Synthroid my energy levels picked up and I stopped

seeing a tangle of hair on the shower floor.

Have you had your thyroid levels checked lately? And are you taking

any additional vitamins and supplements? Whether your doctors

believe you or not, taking some additional multi-purpose vitamins,

folic acid, and magnesium could never hurt you. One GI I saw even

said that the childrens multi-vitamins were a good thing, and easier

on the stomach than the adult variety.

Just a little dose of empathy, support and encouragement sent your

way. Hopefully when you wake today, you'll see some sunshine, feel

more energy and be feeling better than before.

With love, hope and prayers,

Heidi

Heidi H. Griffeth

hhessgriffeth@...

www.pancassociation.org/anthology#Heidi.html

SC State & SE Regional Representative

Pancreatitis Association, International

Note: All comments or advice are based on personal experience or

opinion only, and should not be substituted for professional medical

consultation.

[Guest guest]

Thank you , and bless your son, his family and you as well,

through it all.

Eileen

[Guest guest]

Heidi, Your posts are always so supportive, a comfort.

I have had my thyroid checked twice about a year ago. Said it was

normal.

I do take vitamins, I get them from Puritans Pride. They are geared

towards chronic fatigue and fibromyaligia, so I am unsure of what to

take to support the pancreas.

I also don't know what to AVOID to lessen the stress on the pancreas.

Right now I take a liquid multi vitamin, fish oil, biotin (for my

thinning hair)and that is about it right now.

Eileen