Life turned upside down to

[Guest guest]

I know exactly what you mean when you say you are just floating

around with your life upside down. I was like that for so long. I

tried so hard not to have to resign from my previous position.

Unfortunetly it got to the point where I could not longer provide the

kind of care that I would want to receive. Broke my heart. It was a

great job.

Being on the other side of the fence so to speak is quite an

eyeopener isn't it. Rude awakening I guess best describes it. I

have had pancreatic attacks all my life. Can remember them back to

my childhood; but I was not diagnosed until a few years ago. I have

had 10 surgeries in less then 3 years, as well as scores of ercp's,

scopes, peg tube placement. I have run the gambit. I knew all my

docs long before I ever became a patient and they have taken a very

aggressive approach to my condition. I am cured!! yeah!! but still

have some healing. I am not a very patient patient.

I just want so much to go back to my life. That life no longer

exist. I am a different person. My children have changed and grown

so much, I missed a lot of that. Their dad had to be both parents

and provider. He has helped me so much and surprisingly enough told

me last night that he felt it was too soon for me to go back to

work. A few weeks ago it was just the opposite, but he was stressed

to the max.

I know what you mean about loosing your old friends. I had the same

situation. A lot of it was me tho. I couldn't commit to lunch or

sometimes couldn't even carry on a decent phone conversation. I was

also active with the gym. I felt the strength it gave me did help

with recovering from all those surgeries. I dont know if I will ever

have that strength again. One thing I did do prior to my surgeries

is I tried to strengthen my legs. I tried to walk as much as

possible. When I would sit in the rocker on the deck watching the

kids play I would put my feet on the railing and stretch them out and

in slowly. It helps to have strong legs when its time to get up

after surgery. Really!

Dont worry so much about the pain after the whipple. They will mnore

then likely put in an epidural. Even they dont mention it, then you

should. It is wonderful, well until they remove it that is...LOL. I

had a central line placed for the Beger, it was an internal jugular.

I had an arterial line for the tp-ict as well as a central line.

AFter the Beger I had a wound drain and a pancreatic drain, you may

have those as well but I am not sure of the protocol of your surgeon.

If you think of any questions, please feel free to ask. Also have

you posted the address and phone numbers of the hospital. We may

want to get in touch with you afterwards to see how your doing. I

will try to call but will need your last name too. If your not

comfortable with that, I understand. Oh and that was funny what you

said about the brainiacs in FL. Is that how they got the

name " gator " ade?

Warmly,

christine

[Guest guest]

,

I had missed this message and was very glad that I found it!

Yes, the genius at UF came up with not only fluids that would save

my life, but also its wonderful name. Going to school there also

led me to the wonderful screen name and email address of

specialeducator, instead of special educator...I thought that was so

clever.

I am truly praying that after my whipple (this time next week, OMG)

I will have enough strength to begin working out. I know that the

recovery will be a long road, but I am not going to rush anything.

I've been so far removed from life this year that another few months

isn't going to make a difference.

I know what you mean about loving your job. I was very burnt out on

my career, as special education teachers have a 2.5 year burn out

rate. I had definately reached that point and knew I needed to at

the very least change schools. I got a great job at a different

school. I loved the kids there and I knew from their feedback that

I had made a huge impact on their lives! Having to resign my

position was very hard for me. I hope that when I am ready to teach

again, I will find a niche that suits me the best.

Like I've said before I am still trying to hang on to my mantra

of " things happen for a reason " .

I wonder how many of us have gone all of our lives with attacks that

began in childhood. I think I started about age 8. The times I did

go to the hospital, they would diagnose me as having gastritis. Not

necessarily a far cry from pancreatitis, but where would I be now if

I knew during my childhood? I know I can't dwell on that, this is a

(semi)done deal. I need to ask what's next, not why. I've been

thru the ringer too with ERCP's, CT scans (had very bad reaction to

the dye, so I have to have them w/o dye, which makes it hard to

read), MRI's, major complications from trying to place a peg tube

that landed me in ICU, j-tube, juglar lines (more scary than

painful), infections and fevers, stent placements, ESWL. Just a

waking nightmare.

I can't imagine having a family and raising children in this state.

I can't imagine how truly difficult it is to have children in the

first place, as moms do so much. But being ill on top of that, g-d

bless you all...

I truly hope that you aren't rushing back to work. I know that your

husband can get stressed, but it won't help if working takes a toll

on your health.

It is funny to think about who the people are that have stood by

me. People I would have never expected to meet or even keep in

touch with me. I have had girlfriends that I met when I moved to

ATL (a few years ago) who have left me high and dry. Even my

principal never once picked up the phone or came to visit me in the

hospital...I met one lady who was my roommate in the hospital during

an ice storm this winter. We were both in the room for about a

week. When she found out that I was being discharged, she made them

let her go. She'll still call me and say that she has pain, but

won't go to the hospital b/c I won't be with her. The other

surprise is a woman I met randomly at my gym. The owner was showing

this lady around and we were introduced. The owner told her that I

was a teacher. Turns out the lady's child was having a really hard

time in school. I began to tutor her child and literally boosted

this girl 2 letter grades in math. Her mom has told both my parents

and I that I changed the way she saw her daughter. Her daughter

still continues to get A's from the help I gave her. The mom has

been wonderful during this whole thing, someone I never suspected.

I am grateful for both of these woman.

I hope that others are finding the support they need through

unexpected angels that help us through life.

I hope this post finds everyone well.

>

> I just want so much to go back to my life. That life no longer

> exist. I am a different person. My children have changed and

grown

> so much, I missed a lot of that. Their dad had to be both parents

> and provider. He has helped me so much and surprisingly enough

told

> me last night that he felt it was too soon for me to go back to

> work. A few weeks ago it was just the opposite, but he was

stressed

> to the max.

>

> I know what you mean about loosing your old friends. I had the

same

> situation. A lot of it was me tho. I couldn't commit to lunch or

> sometimes couldn't even carry on a decent phone conversation. I

was

> also active with the gym. I felt the strength it gave me did help

> with recovering from all those surgeries. I dont know if I will

ever

> have that strength again. One thing I did do prior to my

surgeries

> is I tried to strengthen my legs. I tried to walk as much as

> possible. When I would sit in the rocker on the deck watching the

> kids play I would put my feet on the railing and stretch them out

and

> in slowly. It helps to have strong legs when its time to get up

> after surgery. Really!

>

> Dont worry so much about the pain after the whipple. They will

mnore

> then likely put in an epidural. Even they dont mention it, then

you

> should. It is wonderful, well until they remove it that

is...LOL. I

> had a central line placed for the Beger, it was an internal

jugular.

> I had an arterial line for the tp-ict as well as a central line.

> AFter the Beger I had a wound drain and a pancreatic drain, you

may

> have those as well but I am not sure of the protocol of your

surgeon.

>

> If you think of any questions, please feel free to ask. Also have

> you posted the address and phone numbers of the hospital. We may

> want to get in touch with you afterwards to see how your doing. I

> will try to call but will need your last name too. If your not

> comfortable with that, I understand. Oh and that was funny what

you

> said about the brainiacs in FL. Is that how they got the

> name " gator " ade?

> Warmly,

> christine