Guest guest Posted December 2, 2000 Report Share Posted December 2, 2000 Ran across this and thought it was appropriate for our group: !!! BREAD IS DANGEROUS !!! (Have Mercy on Us Sister Sherbert!!!) ------------------------------- I've done a little research, and what I've discovered should make anyone think twice about eating those yeasty dough balls.... 1. Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and given only water to eat begged for bread after as little as two days. 2 Bread is often a " gateway " food item, leading the user to " harder " items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even cold cuts. 3. Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 90 percent water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person. 3. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users. 4. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests. 5. More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread. 5. Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a low incidence of cancer, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's disease, and osteoporosis. 6 Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute. ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, In light of these frightening statistics, we propose the following bread restrictions: 1. No sale of bread to minors. 2. A nationwide " Just Say No To Toast " campaign, complete celebrity TV spots and bumper stickers. 3. A 300 percent federal tax on all bread to pay for all the societal ills we might associate with bread. 4. No animal or human images, nor any primary colors (which may appeal to children) may be used to promote bread usage. 5. The establishment of " Bread-free " zones around schools. Please send this e-mail on to everyone you know who cares about this crucial issue. Remember: Think idiotically, act globally! ¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ Joni Seattle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 2, 2000 Report Share Posted December 2, 2000 Joni You are a hoot!!!! I must be a bread pudding person... Suzanne Flagler/Palm coast Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 2, 2000 Report Share Posted December 2, 2000 hehehe!! Thanks Joni, that was silly Cindy the PHAT chick Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 2, 2000 Report Share Posted December 2, 2000 Cindy, go to bed! Another phat chick Trish Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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