Re: Inga TTC now vs. waiting

November 13, 2004

Hi Inga...

I can imagine you are really frustrated right now. I turned 37 in September

and we're TTC our first. We got married " later " in life (I was 34 and he

was 41). It was two weeks after I got out of the hospital after my open RNY

when we got married. So...I we waited the suggested 18 months post op and then

my hubby got laid off (the wonderful things that happen when companies

merge) and then hubby had hiw right hip replaced. So...that brings us to now.

We

actually got pregnant in June, but had a miscarriage in July. We started

TTCing this cycle so we'll see what happens.

I give you all that as background to say that I can understand where you're

at. Like I tell people " I'm not getting any younger. " However, I think that

raising a child is a very self-less act. It takes so much time and energy

and it means putting self needs and wants aside. I believe that both parties

in a relationship need to want the child in order for it to be the best...for

the child, for the Mom and for the Dad. BUT...I also understand wanting one

now. Maybe sit down with your husband and see if he really just wants to

wait a year, or if there's some other reason why he wants to wait (maybe he's

not sure about having another baby??). If it's really just that he wants to

wait a year so he can get close to done with his residency, maybe he'd be

willing to compromise and would do 6 months instead. Remind him that it took a

while to conceive your son and that if you did conceive right away that first

month (waiting 6 months), it would still be over a year by the time the baby

was actually here. Did I make any sense there?? Compromise is always a good

thing. Also, don't forget that you are a lot healthier now than when you

were when you got pregnant with your son. I've heard that women, after WLS,

become much more fertile because of changed hormones. I was told that I would

probably never be able to have my own children due to possible endometriosis,

PCOS or a combination of both. Well, I got pregnant without really trying.

Maybe that gives you a bit of hope, too, as you and your hubby figure out an

answer for this.

I hope I was able to help in some small way and not sound like I know

everything. I don't know much at all, really. I just know that compromise is

a

good thing.

Love and peace...

Melody

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