*moderator message* Please be careful.

[Guest guest]

There were a lot of spam emails today.

Some tips to help avoid them:

Do not click on any link that doesn't say anything else in the body of the message. If the person sending an email doesn't have anything more to say than a link, then they might need ABA too.

Do not click on any link that also has a blank subject line. We all know

how paranoid a blank subject can make us feel. The mystery, the suspense, it's downright irritating to wonder if it's a happy email or a

pissed off email. Just assume it's bad and toss it. Blame it on the spam filter if it really was from your cousin's friend's husband that knows your dad's boss's mom who thinks you're the bees knees and wanted to ask you to go to his/her 25th high school class reunion. Kindergarten

class, that is.

Do not click on any link that says something vague like, "Hey! Thought you'd like this!" or "Check this out!" If they can't take the time to say something, then they probably didn't actually take the time to hit send in the first place. Just assume someone else did it for them and delete it.

Let you're friends know not to send generic emails out if they have a tendency to do so. Or they should if they want you to click on the link to chuckle over the latest Keep Calm meme. Or the kitty hanging over the

window ledge with the caption "hang in there." Or the tiny puppy in the

teacup. Let's not forget the weirdly distorted cats stuffed into glass bottles.

Do not click on any link that has a message containing strange syntax. "Most esteemed neighbor, I have today to offer you ten dollars thousand,

if only you contact me." Google translate does a better job butchering languages.

These links are spam, phishing, scams, and malware. You may find your email address hijacked, a fake check deposited into your account, your credit card numbers stolen, or your soul sold to the highest bidder.

Hijacking of your email typically involves sending spam to everyone in your address book without you actually doing it yourself. While we would

all love to be able to write emails via theta waves, we can't actually do that. Your friends don't know the magic they've created unless you tell them, either. So please, be kind and rewind. Let them know they are

sending out tiny bombs that are killing the internets by teensy-weensy degrees every day.

DO NOT send a link to the list without a subject line or a message in the body. I *will* assume it's spam, and I *will* put you on moderation.

Sometimes I read what the link says and can tell it's not spam. Don't count on me doing that. Odds are about 80-20 I will not read the link.

If you do not speak English well, do not fear. I understand and I do not

judge your English. If we can understand you, that's all that matters. So long as you never, ever offer anyone large sums of cash because you won the lottery, but can't cash it because you are in hiding from a warlord, and need the assistance of a reliable person you can trust.

Also note these related tips:

No one is counting how many times an email is being forwarded. You will not receive a check from Best Buy, Walmart, The Gap, Ben & Jerry's or Coca-Cola. But I just happen to have found a bank account that has been dormant for 12 years in Paraguay. The owner has dead been declared and if establish we can you as next of kin, we could division the money.

Contact me if you can interest. No one else aware I contacting you about this' it's totally on the download.

Hospitals don't offer pro-bono life saving surgeries to dying children if they get a million likes on Facebook or forward an email to a million

people. Who wants to go to a hospital that would?

There is no special "cool thing" to see when you forward that email to 5

other people. Really. Nothing will happen. Other than 5 people being irritated with you, that is.

If you find you've been hijacked, cashed a fake check, had your credit card declined, or you've lost your soul, don't panic and remember your towel. The first thing to try is changing your email password. Really, that only works for a hijacked email, which is what we mostly deal with here. Contact your bank for checks or credit card issues. You'll probably need to talk to the God of your choice about your lost soul. Or

contact the buyer.

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* * * Cheryl * *

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