Update on me!

[Guest guest]

This may be a little long winded so forgive me in advance. I posted

several weeks ago about my trials and tribulations with the father of

my baby. His constant lying and my decision to move out now and give

him a chance to grow up and get help if he needs it.

Well, on Monday I moved out. This was after a weekend of fighting,

talking and alot of tears. He finally told me the truth about how

many kids he has (3 little girls that I did not know of until just a

few weeks ago when his mother told my mother of them). He confessed

that his mother DID NOT know that I was pregnant with his 5th child.

I just had to be honest with him and tell him that I already knew

these things and that I appreciated him finally telling me the truth

but that I could not garentee what was going to happen with us. I did

not tell him at the time that I was moving out on Monday. For myself

this was the easier way to handle it.

So Monday I took him to work, kissed him goodbye and went home to

pack and get out. By that evening I was completely moved into my new

place. I told him on his way home from work that I would not be

waiting for him when he got home and I explained why. He was very

upset, but still did not own up to the problems that were mostly

generated by himself. He just turned it all back on my. Showed me how

inmature he is. I told him that the door was not closed and that we

still have 10-12 weeks before the baby gets here to try and work on

these issues. That I needed him to take care of himself before he

could take on us. I tried to help him see that I could not take care

of me and my own issues plus be a new mommie for the first time and

take care of a grown man. He said that I gave in, threw in the towel

and left him on the street. He accused me of being weak and not

strong enough to stand by my man while he went through some tough

times. I told him that I had given him months to get things going and

that he only came clean now on the " How many kids " issue because he

got caught.

Well there have been several other phone calls where he is begging me

to come home or else it was really over. I have also found out that

he was lying to our friends about ME. Telling people that I was a

shop aholic and that he was the one taking care of everything. I cant

believe that he lies so much he doesnt know what the truth is. I also

found out that while I was shelling out $1400+ to save our apartment

he was buying or at least helping to buy his older son's mother a car

and he didnt tell me anything about it. I have yet to discuss this

with him.

I know that I made the right decision and I have to admit that the

more I think about it the more I realize that he isnt going to change

unless I left and it was enough to wake him up and get him to realize

his problems and that he needs to deal with them. I get emtional at

times and think that I am so ALONE now. But I know that I am not and

that he has the chance to still be a father to the baby if he chooses

to.

I just wanted to let all know what was happening in my life. I seen

the doc last week and I have gained a total of 9.5lbs....I am 27

weeks pregger with my first. The baby is an jumping bean inside, but

I am loving it. I cant wait to hold him in my arms. Thank you so much

for listening, responding and supporting me through all of this. I

appreciate it more than you all know.

I wish everyone happiness, love and enternal joy.

~HUGS~ Shalonda

RNY 9/11/03

300+/175/??? +9.5lbs for baby

EDD 1/8-9/05 with baby Malachi

[Guest guest]

Shalonda,

I have to tell you how proud I am of you for standing up for yourself

and your child. You are going to make a fantastic mother and you

deserve only the best. Keep your chin up and know that you are not

alone, ever.

Good Luck,

in Nevada