Re: Just need to ramble/vent

[Guest guest]

hey shalonda...my sister was pregnant and met her now hubby and they married 3

months after the baby was born. i say let it ride nad see what happens. for

now you ware enjoying each other's company and having fun...only time will tell

how real he is.

as for your mom, ugh...i'm sure if i lived that close to my mom i'd be in teh

nut house too...you just have to realize that that's her and you can't change

her. go with the flow when you can and well, it's her loss if you can't...you

are right, your weekends are yours, if she doesn't like it too bad...you had

every right to go do your own thing...maybe i'm jsut being so harsh cause i'm no

in the situation and i know it's easier said then done...but for your sanilty

and the baby;s sake, you can only try to distance yourself or not be SO involved

with her, like your sister said! good luck, hugs.

keep us posted...vent and rany anytime!

aka mom2ben99 (jennilee75@...)

Kay Independent Beauty Consultant

http://www.marykay.com/koopmans

Gastric Bypass-Lap RNY 3/12/04-Dr Dunshee in Topeka Ks.

Baby boy due 2/17/05-Shanndon

original wt. 342/current wt. 206/goal wt. 140

Just need to ramble/vent

Good morning ladies,

I just need to ramble and vent this morning and certainly understand

if you dont have time to read my entire post. Just know that it makes

me feel better to be able to put things down.

1st : My mother is about to drive me crazy. As most know I am now

doing this solo with the support of my family, which I love dearly.

However I swear my mom is going to put me in the nut house before

this baby comes. This weekend she was throwing a fit because I didnt

know all the details relating to my sisters weekend plans. Then she

wanted to dictate how I should go about my weekend. This got me,

because it was my weekend and I already had it planned out to my

benefit and it did not include anything she was suggesting. I just

needed a few days to myself in my own little world. Not a weekend

planned with moving more furniture or finishing the baby room. Then

my grandmother is coming into town this morning from Reno and we are

in the greater Seattle are. I thought that the plans were for us to

have lunch today and I planned my day around this. Wore something

nice and didnt bring my lunch with me to the office. Well on my way

to work my darling mother called to tell me that they wouldnt be

around the office until about 2pm. Well this is way to late for me to

have lunch. (I run the family biz and need to be as available as

possible to all of my staff.) Plus I have the last piece of my

furniture being delivered this evening and will have to leave a

little early from the office in order to let the delivery guys in.

When I asked my mom why things had changed or why the plans were as

they were, knowing that my grandmother was going to be here around 11

am and that would give plenty of time to get to my office for lunch,

mom said it was because my step dad wanted to go to lunch with them

and that was the plans for today but that I could have lunch with

them tomorrow or dinner tonight. OMG...she just thinks I can come and

go from my office at her whim. I explained that neither would work

because Tuesdays are too busy to be gone long and with my doc

appointment in the morning I was going to plan to be right back in

the office for the remainder of the day. As for tonight..well my

uncle on my dads side of the family came to town last night and we

already have plans for dinner this evening. UGH..I am so fustrated

that I almost started crying. I had to call my sister to vent and she

said that this is why she doesnt call mom everyday. She said it too

would put her in the nut house.

I finally had to just hang up the phone on my mom. I told her I was

driving and couldnt talk anymore because traffic was bad. She was

upset that I was disconnecting the call, but I didnt care at that

point. Now she has called me back about some details for the baby

shower and she is again being all huffy about things. I think I need

a vacation from my family.

2nd : I am having some issues with a new friend in my life. Yes a

male friend..not major issues, just some things that I need some

advice on. He has been extremely sweet when it comes to the baby

issue considering he isnt the father. He has even took up kissing my

bulging belly. I have all this baby stuff around my house and I have

never had to deal with this before. When I have had guest over I have

never had to deal with the baby bassinet in the bedroom. I was kinda

embarresed about it. He assured me that it wasnt a problem and that I

was going to have a baby and to have these things around was normal.

I guess I felt weird about it, not him. I am also wondering to

myself, what is a man like this doing around a woman about to give

birth to another mans baby. I feel that we have growing feelings for

one another. We have been intimate and he is so sweet about

everything. He even put my crib together for me. He has been giving

me advice on being a parent and he is constantly reassuring me that I

am going to be a great mother. So what is the catch? I keep asking

myself. How did Mr. Wonderful all of a sudden appear? And is he

really Mr. Wonderful or is he another problem that I will have to get

rid of later..just like the sperm donor. *For those of you who know

my story I am sure you can understand.** I am also worried that if I

open my heart to this man and then he leaves when the baby gets here

I will be so hurt. Yet I fear that he is holding back because I am.

We met a few weeks b4 I left the babys father. He knew my whole

situation. We agreed that until I was on my own and situated that we

would just chat on the phone. Once I was in my own place we started

having dinner or lunch dates. Now it is a combo of these nice little

dates with the occasional " come over for a visit to my place " dates.

You all know what I mean.

He has 4 kids of his own. He has said that I am an inspiration to him

because of my biz and being so driven. He even said the other day

that I have caused him to really look at his goals for the future and

realize that he needed to get going and moving and to stop stalling.

What does that mean? Is he looking at us as a future? He told me the

other day that he would love to have more kids if it was financially

not a problem. UGH! I dont know. Maybe I am just getting back into

trouble here?

Thanks for listening or reading lol. Sorry that it is so long.

~HUGS~ Shalonda and baby boy Malachi

Children are a blessing, and a gift from the Lord. -Psalm 127:3

[Guest guest]

hi there, i read the part about your male friend. i think you bring

up alot of legit points and perhaps you should ponder... he sounds

like a guy who tends to lean towards damsels in distress... if so

then perhaps you should find out a little more why your situation

attracts him and the nature of a man who (like you ask in your post)

is attracted to a woman with another mans baby. you are very

inquisitive!! it makes me wonder as well, as a little suspicious i

suppose.

i dont know if you listen to dr. laura. i hear her show a couple

hours a week while in the car driving around. i think she has a

book that addresses this very issue. its one of the " 10 most

stupidest things books " ... the one for men I think.

i know i didnt offer any hard advice but please let us know where

this leads.

sorry ive no help on the mom issue.

best of luck

kimberly

me 33, dh 35 (male factor low morphology)

pcos dx 6/96 guaranteed lifetime fertility problems....

alex born 4/12/00 success! 7 cycles on clomid/glucophage

heartbreaking loss @ 20weeks 10/26/01 severe neuraltube defcts

Cole born 8/4/03 success! 1st cycle repronex/iui after 8 mo clomid

Gastric Bypass surgery 3/9/04 lost 99lbs as of 11/05/04

10/29/04 Shockingly expectant @ 18 weeks & conceived naturally

Amnio 11/2/04 Markers for Trisomy 18 found (Choriod Plexus Cyst)

Still awaiting results from Amnio

EDD 4/3/05

kimberly