Re: miscarriage, again

November 22, 2004

Hi, .

((((hugs))))

It's so hard to miscarry, especially when the baby is

so loved and wanted. I'm very sorry for your loss.

Please listen to your surgeon and nutritionist-they

are very smart! Neither miscarriage is your fault at

all. There is nothing you can do to prevent a

miscarriage and this wasn't the result of you having

this surgery.

I think it's great you've found out that your iron is

low so that you can rectify that and get nice and

healthy before conceiving again. You want to feel as

good as possible while you're pregnant and being

anemic will just make you even more tired! )

I think the worst thing people can say is that

something was *wrong* with your baby and that this is

nature's way of weeding out the faulty, less than

perfect products of conception. That was your baby and

less than perfect or not, you wanted it and you loved

it and you have every right to mourn this loss. Please

take some time to reflect, meditate, draw close to

God, research, hug your husband and your 11-year-old,

whatever you need.

This could very well be a fluke, or this could very

well be a sign that you have secondary infertility.

However, most doctors will not investigate this

possibility until you've lost at least three

pregnancies. Sometimes the problem can be easily

remedied and if not there are other ways to share all

the love your family has and the joys of raising a

baby together with your hubby. I've recently

miscarried for the seventh time, (twice with twins,

three times in the second trimester, twice with one

baby in the first 4-12 weeks.) and my hubby and I are

going to look into adopting a baby from China. It's

not what we planned but that's okay.

Head into your thid attempt at having a baby with no

holds barred. Assume that it will go well and save

yourself a lot of stress worrying about something you

have no control over! More than likely, you and your

DH will be welcoming a bundle of joy soon enough!

And please, like I said before, take time to mourn

this loss and let people take this painful blow with

you. Don't be ashamed to ask for support!

Lots of love,

Jenn

__________________________________________________

November 22, 2004

jenny, i am so sorry for your loss.Losing a child at any stage is very hard.I

had surgery on july 21, of last year and found out i was pregnant at the end of

april.I was scared at first but then i was so happy to be having a little baby

again.I have 3 boys ages 2,3,4..I lost that baby at 6 weeks,I then found out in

june i was pregnant but to miscarry at 5 weeks.I am now 25 weeks pregnant with

my little girl after taking the depro shot not to get pregnant..Everyday i still

think of my 2 miscarriages,but in my heart i know this is the way god wanted

it.I will always have a special spot in my heart for those 2 babies...this

pregnancy has been good except the nonstop worries of another miscarriage.Take

the time and heal and god will bless you and your husband with a happy healthy

baby..

sending love and prayers your way angel

diva_designs4u wrote:

HI group. I am . I am in a miscarriage right now. This is the

second pregnancy since open RNY bypass September 2002. I became

pregnant 6 months after surgery, and miscarried at 6 weeks, the

pregnancy was a total ooops, and surprise, unplanned, but I was happy

after the shock wore off. Then it ended. I beat myself up after

ward, thinking it was my fault, because of the RNY surgery and not

being able to get nutrients in.my surgeon for RNY and the

nutritionist he sent me to both said it was not due to surgery. I

was told not to get pregnant until at least one year post op, as not

only does it slow weight loss, but it is good for everyone to have at

least a year after surgery for the body to heal up and get strong

again.

Well, this pregnancy happened at 2 years post op,last month was also

unplanned, but we really were overjoyed about it, and told friends

and family after the tests came back positive Friday the 12th. Only

a few days later I began to cramp sunday, and then cramp again tues

@1:30 am and bleed tues nov.16th, and ended up in the ER in great

pain about 9 am. The HCG pregnancy hormone titers came back

yesterday and were about half what they were two days before, so yes,

I am miscarring again. I have only bled from tues morning until very

early friday morning Nov.19, bleeding has stopped right now, but

probably will resume in order to clean out the uterus. I got in very

fast with the OB monday the 15th, and she did an ultrasound in her

office, and could not locate a sac in the uterus. Apparently an

embryo sac had not even developed and it was not progressing

normally. What is happening with me? MY OB does not think this is

surgery related. I am anemic, with recent blood work at 9.8 for iron

levels. I understand an 11 or 12 is considered good. I was also

about 6 weeks along with this baby, same gestation has the last

pregnancy when I miscarried. I am handling this much better than the

last miscarriage due to the great support, and having been through it

once before, but still, I wish I had real answers as to why I am

miscarrying. I realize that miscarriage is very common and most

women miscarrry so early they think they are just having their normal

period a week late or so, but, this is the second confirmed pregnancy

and second miscarriage. I have to believe I am capable of carrying a

baby to term. I have an 11 year old son. I am now 34. Please,

someone who has been through this, please help me, what can I do to

not have another miscarriage? The OB said that usually nothing is

done to investigate or treat further until 3 miscArriages have

happened. Perhaps, it is just a fluke?, or Just coincidence that I

have been pregnant twice and miscarried twice? The next pregnancy

will go to term and I will deliver a healthy baby!!! I really do not

want to have to let another pregnancy end this way, if there is

anything in my power I can do to help make that not happen. And yet,

now more than ever I feel like I would like to try again, even though

I fear I will be creating a life that will die in my womb. I have

the most wonderful man and he has no children, and I always thought I

would have another child myself. I will not try to be pregnant again

for some time, to allow healing both physically and spiritually,

emotionally. This has been very hard for me, and I know it has been

very hard for , he has been teary eyed, but not crying in front

of me because he is trying to be strong and supportive to me, I

suppose.

Children are a blessing, and a gift from the Lord. -Psalm 127:3

November 22, 2004

jenny, i am so sorry. i too had miscarriages before a live birth. i had 3

miscarraiges...5 weeks, 6 weeks and 11 weeks. they are aweful adn it never gets

easier. needless to say, the 4th pregnancy i had, i walked on eggshalles the

whole time...he turned out to be a live birth and is five years old now. they

never knew why. nothing was investigated, until we had infertility issues

(after benjamin was born). turned out to be nothing wrong with me...so why M/C?

sometimes it's just the fetus. they just aren't developing correctly. since

you've had two in a row, i say maybe see a fertility specialist or OB that can

check your hormone levels...check for lupus anticoagulant and your progestrone

levels. besides that, i'm sure there's not much that can be done. i'm so

sorry. you can and will have a future live birth, i'm sure and will pray for

you...take it easy, take care of yourself, and keep us posted how you are

doing...hugs, jenn

aka mom2ben99

Gastric Bypass-Lap RNY 3/12/04-Dr Dunshee in Topeka Ks.

Baby boy due 2/17/05-Shanndon

original wt. 342/current wt. 206/goal wt. 140

miscarriage, again