24-25 week check up and up date on my troubles

[Guest guest]

Hello everyone. I went to the doctor this past Tuesday for my 24-25

week check up. My doctor was suprised to see that I brought my sis-in-

law instead of my boyfriend. I explained to her that he and I were

have troubles and that I had decided to leave. He doesnt know this

yet and that when I do tell him I am unsure as to how he is going to

react. So in the meanwhile I am resourcing the very best support

group (my family). She was pleased that I had decided to confide in

her my problems and said that once I am out of my current situtation

my stress levels will most likely even out and even if they dont not

to worry too much because babies thrive on stress. I sure hope she is

right about this because I am really wigging out over leaving baby's

dad.

I have gained another 1.5lbs, making a grand total of 9.5lbs total.

She said that the baby was active and everything looked great. We

talked about the next appointment and doing the GTT test. She has

opted to have me do a fasting blood surgar draw in the morning and

then eat and come back 2 hours for a finger prick. I am cool with

that. I truly love my doctor. She is wonderful.

As for my boyfriend, well he continues to kiss my feet trying to make

amends for the lying and troubles he has put us through in the past

few weeks. But I dont think he has stopped lying. In fact I know he

hasnt. So last week I decided I needed to go. He needs time to grow

up and get his life together and I want to concentrate on my baby boy

not raising a grown man. I have been looking at apartments and houses

in the area of town that I prefer to live in. I have also talked to

my family and close friends and they are going to come and help me

move (a 1 day affair) so that it will be done and over with lickity

split. Then I can begin my healing process.

My mother called his mother to discuss a few things with her. (I

didnt think she even knew I was expecting her son's child) To my

suprise she did know. But not because my boyfriend told her, no

because his sister found out from a friend and told their mom. She

said she has been waiting for him to tell her but didnt expect he

would anytime soon (and here I am due in 3 months). His mom told mine

that he has since he was 13 had a lying problem, that she tried when

he was a boy to get him help but that it didnt work and now that he

is a grown man she cant force him too. She also confirmed that he has

not only 1 other son but 3 daughters as well. She said that he denies

the girls because the mother took them away and never gives him any

information about them. She said that he never keeps a job long

because he gets himself into trouble generally with women. All in all

she doesnt think he will change and she was sorry. She said that it

is very hard for her to talk badly about her own child but she doesnt

know how else to warn people. She even said that she tried to warn me

(I remember some things but I dont remember her telling me all this).

She does want to be a part of the my baby's life and said that if

there was anything that I needed help with to please let her know. My

mother and her are suppose to have lunch to talk more in a week or

so.

Now here I am trying to be strong knowing deep inside that I am

making the right choice for myself and the baby. But also emotional

about the bad choice I made with him. I am trying to understand

myself more so that I can understand why I make such bad choices with

men. I really need to set my standards higher. That probably makes me

sound like such a snob. But I am not. Just deserve happiness like

everyone.

Enough rambling. Thanks for the support and advice and of course " THE

LISTENING EARS " .

~HUGS~ Shalonda

EDD 1/6-9/05 with baby boy Malachi

RNY 9/11/03