If you wrote this, could you please contact me.

[Guest guest]

I want to use this in my book and need permission. If you wrote this or know who did could you please contact me with a name, email and snail mail address? I need your permission to use it in my book. I won’t use any names just want to share what we all feel at times and you said so well.Thanks,Marcia Hindshindssite@... I feel like I have two different lives. The mom that cooks and cleans and runs the kids to school and pretends to her husband, friends and family that everything is ok, and the real me scared sh*tless that I'm never going to get him recovered.I am so scared...night and day..all the time. What if I never do it? I've never accepted that he's not coming back. Every time I think of that thought I immediately start go weak, can't breathe and in a panic run to my list on the fridge and read everything I'm doing for him just to reassure myself ......he's coming back. I have a couple memories of him before autism and I'm losing those too. It's like it's been so long I can't remember that well anymore. I’ve lived this life filled with autism with such passion and intensity I've lost myself, and I’ve been around the biomed block a couple times now that I don't know where I'm even going now. I've done everything.I’ll stop writing .......one of those nights ......