miscarriage, again

[Guest guest]

HI group. I am . I am in a miscarriage right now. This is the

second pregnancy since open RNY bypass September 2002. I became

pregnant 6 months after surgery, and miscarried at 6 weeks, the

pregnancy was a total ooops, and surprise, unplanned, but I was happy

after the shock wore off. Then it ended. I beat myself up after

ward, thinking it was my fault, because of the RNY surgery and not

being able to get nutrients in.my surgeon for RNY and the

nutritionist he sent me to both said it was not due to surgery. I

was told not to get pregnant until at least one year post op, as not

only does it slow weight loss, but it is good for everyone to have at

least a year after surgery for the body to heal up and get strong

again.

Well, this pregnancy happened at 2 years post op,last month was also

unplanned, but we really were overjoyed about it, and told friends

and family after the tests came back positive Friday the 12th. Only

a few days later I began to cramp sunday, and then cramp again tues

@1:30 am and bleed tues nov.16th, and ended up in the ER in great

pain about 9 am. The HCG pregnancy hormone titers came back

yesterday and were about half what they were two days before, so yes,

I am miscarring again. I have only bled from tues morning until very

early friday morning Nov.19, bleeding has stopped right now, but

probably will resume in order to clean out the uterus. I got in very

fast with the OB monday the 15th, and she did an ultrasound in her

office, and could not locate a sac in the uterus. Apparently an

embryo sac had not even developed and it was not progressing

normally. What is happening with me? MY OB does not think this is

surgery related. I am anemic, with recent blood work at 9.8 for iron

levels. I understand an 11 or 12 is considered good. I was also

about 6 weeks along with this baby, same gestation has the last

pregnancy when I miscarried. I am handling this much better than the

last miscarriage due to the great support, and having been through it

once before, but still, I wish I had real answers as to why I am

miscarrying. I realize that miscarriage is very common and most

women miscarrry so early they think they are just having their normal

period a week late or so, but, this is the second confirmed pregnancy

and second miscarriage. I have to believe I am capable of carrying a

baby to term. I have an 11 year old son. I am now 34. Please,

someone who has been through this, please help me, what can I do to

not have another miscarriage? The OB said that usually nothing is

done to investigate or treat further until 3 miscArriages have

happened. Perhaps, it is just a fluke?, or Just coincidence that I

have been pregnant twice and miscarried twice? The next pregnancy

will go to term and I will deliver a healthy baby!!! I really do not

want to have to let another pregnancy end this way, if there is

anything in my power I can do to help make that not happen. And yet,

now more than ever I feel like I would like to try again, even though

I fear I will be creating a life that will die in my womb. I have

the most wonderful man and he has no children, and I always thought I

would have another child myself. I will not try to be pregnant again

for some time, to allow healing both physically and spiritually,

emotionally. This has been very hard for me, and I know it has been

very hard for , he has been teary eyed, but not crying in front

of me because he is trying to be strong and supportive to me, I

suppose.