Hi, New Here

[Guest guest]

Hello Everyone,

I have read quite a lot of posts here in the last week and have felt

oddly reassured by your presence. Thank you for being so open about

your experiences and thoughts, it is helping me as my husband and I

make our first tentative steps in the world of cancer. He was only

diagnosed a few weeks back but it seems like a lifetime.

He had bowel habit changes early in the summer but apart form saying

he needed to go to the toilet more frequently didn't give me the

details. He has tended to have a rather sensitive bowel throughout

life so it didn't seem so strange at first. It went on all summer

and I finally told him to give me ALL the gory details, following

which I insisted he see the doctor. To be honest we were thinking in

terms of something like diverticulitis rather than tumours as he was

only 46yrs old. Within a week he was having a sigmoidoscopy and we

were told he had a polyp. We came away feeling like we had not been

given bad news but nevertheless very perturbed by the gloominess of

the doctor and the nurse. We were offered a cup of tea and in a UK

hospital this means you must have had a shock and need tea to ease

this.

As an ex-nurse I wound myself up in the next 24 hours absolutely

certain that something was up and we weren't being told. After the

weekend I started phoning and insisting we were informed of the real

picture. a week later the specialist saw us and confirmed that a

malignant flat tumour had been discovered, surgery would be

necessary as would a CT scan and a Barium Enema. Metasteses were not

seen on the CT but a further lesion on the opposite side of the

colon was found during the barium XRay. That is the picture as far

as we know and staging will not be done until after the surgery,

taking place on Wednesday this week. Although we are remaining as

positive as we can about the prognosis I am really dreading his time

in hospital and the operation itself, fearing for his well being

through this as well. There are times when one's nursing experiences

do backfire! We have young adolescent children and I am trying to

keep as practical and realistic with them about it all. I find it

quite tough going though. It feels good to say this in a place where

people KNOW just exactly what I mean. Loving friends and family are

great but they too have their own feelings and fears to deal with in

relation to my husband so I don't feel I can be completely free to

say things.

This is getting to be a very long post I am afraid so I'll draw it

to a close now. I'll just ask for your prayers for him this week and

if any of you can speak about helping children at this time then I

would love to hear.

Thank you all for being here,

Warmest,

Fran

[Guest guest]

Hi, Fran. Welcome to the group. Sorry your life took this detour when your

husband was diagnosed with CC. My children are 21, 23 & 27, so telling them

about their dad's cancer was not difficult. They were old enough to understand

and be positive that all will be well. He just has to have surgery, chemo and

radiation. God willing he will be fine. I have looked at this website on talking

to children about cancer and it seems to be excellent for ages 2 - 16. These are

some of the articles:

Why should my children be told?

Who should tell my children?

When should I tell my children?

How should I tell my children?

How much should I tell my children?

Some suggested ways of saying things

Some don'ts

The link on the left side called " Patient Information Guide " has information on

books in the UK. Hope you find it helpful. We are all praying for your husband,

for you and the kids.

~Deb from Kansas

talking to children about cancer:

http://www.cancerbacup.org.uk/Resourcessupport/Relationshipscommunication/Talkin\

gtochildren

seamist32000 wrote:

Hello Everyone,

I have read quite a lot of posts here in the last week and have felt

oddly reassured by your presence. Thank you for being so open about

your experiences and thoughts, it is helping me as my husband and I

make our first tentative steps in the world of cancer. He was only

diagnosed a few weeks back but it seems like a lifetime.

He had bowel habit changes early in the summer but apart form saying

he needed to go to the toilet more frequently didn't give me the

details. He has tended to have a rather sensitive bowel throughout

life so it didn't seem so strange at first. It went on all summer

and I finally told him to give me ALL the gory details, following

which I insisted he see the doctor. To be honest we were thinking in

terms of something like diverticulitis rather than tumours as he was

only 46yrs old. Within a week he was having a sigmoidoscopy and we

were told he had a polyp. We came away feeling like we had not been

given bad news but nevertheless very perturbed by the gloominess of

the doctor and the nurse. We were offered a cup of tea and in a UK

hospital this means you must have had a shock and need tea to ease

this.

As an ex-nurse I wound myself up in the next 24 hours absolutely

certain that something was up and we weren't being told. After the

weekend I started phoning and insisting we were informed of the real

picture. a week later the specialist saw us and confirmed that a

malignant flat tumour had been discovered, surgery would be

necessary as would a CT scan and a Barium Enema. Metasteses were not

seen on the CT but a further lesion on the opposite side of the

colon was found during the barium XRay. That is the picture as far

as we know and staging will not be done until after the surgery,

taking place on Wednesday this week. Although we are remaining as

positive as we can about the prognosis I am really dreading his time

in hospital and the operation itself, fearing for his well being

through this as well. There are times when one's nursing experiences

do backfire! We have young adolescent children and I am trying to

keep as practical and realistic with them about it all. I find it

quite tough going though. It feels good to say this in a place where

people KNOW just exactly what I mean. Loving friends and family are

great but they too have their own feelings and fears to deal with in

relation to my husband so I don't feel I can be completely free to

say things.

This is getting to be a very long post I am afraid so I'll draw it

to a close now. I'll just ask for your prayers for him this week and

if any of you can speak about helping children at this time then I

would love to hear.

Thank you all for being here,

Warmest,

Fran

---------------------------------

Yahoo! Music Unlimited - Access over 1 million songs. Try it free.

[Guest guest]

Hello Fran, Welcome to our group. You said you have been following

the posts here so you already know that we are all family here to

each other. Please feel free to come here and talk and tell us how

you are doing and how your husband is feeling. We all care about each

other here. And if you have questions, you will find there is

ussually someone here who has gone through it and can answer them.

Please let us know how everything is going. I will be sending up

prayers on Weds. and be thinking of you. Ingrid

>

> Hello Everyone,

>

> I have read quite a lot of posts here in the last week and have

felt

> oddly reassured by your presence. Thank you for being so open about

> your experiences and thoughts, it is helping me as my husband and I

> make our first tentative steps in the world of cancer. He was only

> diagnosed a few weeks back but it seems like a lifetime.

> He had bowel habit changes early in the summer but apart form

saying

> he needed to go to the toilet more frequently didn't give me the

> details. He has tended to have a rather sensitive bowel throughout

> life so it didn't seem so strange at first. It went on all summer

> and I finally told him to give me ALL the gory details, following

> which I insisted he see the doctor. To be honest we were thinking

in

> terms of something like diverticulitis rather than tumours as he

was

> only 46yrs old. Within a week he was having a sigmoidoscopy and we

> were told he had a polyp. We came away feeling like we had not been

> given bad news but nevertheless very perturbed by the gloominess of

> the doctor and the nurse. We were offered a cup of tea and in a UK

> hospital this means you must have had a shock and need tea to ease

> this.

>

> As an ex-nurse I wound myself up in the next 24 hours absolutely

> certain that something was up and we weren't being told. After the

> weekend I started phoning and insisting we were informed of the

real

> picture. a week later the specialist saw us and confirmed that a

> malignant flat tumour had been discovered, surgery would be

> necessary as would a CT scan and a Barium Enema. Metasteses were

not

> seen on the CT but a further lesion on the opposite side of the

> colon was found during the barium XRay. That is the picture as far

> as we know and staging will not be done until after the surgery,

> taking place on Wednesday this week. Although we are remaining as

> positive as we can about the prognosis I am really dreading his

time

> in hospital and the operation itself, fearing for his well being

> through this as well. There are times when one's nursing

experiences

> do backfire! We have young adolescent children and I am trying to

> keep as practical and realistic with them about it all. I find it

> quite tough going though. It feels good to say this in a place

where

> people KNOW just exactly what I mean. Loving friends and family are

> great but they too have their own feelings and fears to deal with

in

> relation to my husband so I don't feel I can be completely free to

> say things.

>

> This is getting to be a very long post I am afraid so I'll draw it

> to a close now. I'll just ask for your prayers for him this week

and

> if any of you can speak about helping children at this time then I

> would love to hear.

>

> Thank you all for being here,

> Warmest,

> Fran

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Deb,

Thank you for this suggestion. I found the BACUP site when I was

first doing my research but it had slipped my mind. A lot seems to

be slipping my mind at the moment and I am being really forgetful

but I expect that is normal in the circumstances. I'll have a look

at the site over the next few days and read those sections; they

sound really useful.

I wish you and your husband all the best with his treatments.

Fran

> Hello Everyone,

>

> I have read quite a lot of posts here in the last week and have

felt

> oddly reassured by your presence. Thank you for being so open

about

> your experiences and thoughts, it is helping me as my husband and

I

> make our first tentative steps in the world of cancer. He was only

> diagnosed a few weeks back but it seems like a lifetime.

> He had bowel habit changes early in the summer but apart form

saying

> he needed to go to the toilet more frequently didn't give me the

> details. He has tended to have a rather sensitive bowel throughout

> life so it didn't seem so strange at first. It went on all summer

> and I finally told him to give me ALL the gory details, following

> which I insisted he see the doctor. To be honest we were thinking

in

> terms of something like diverticulitis rather than tumours as he

was

> only 46yrs old. Within a week he was having a sigmoidoscopy and we

> were told he had a polyp. We came away feeling like we had not

been

> given bad news but nevertheless very perturbed by the gloominess

of

> the doctor and the nurse. We were offered a cup of tea and in a

UK

> hospital this means you must have had a shock and need tea to ease

> this.

>

> As an ex-nurse I wound myself up in the next 24 hours absolutely

> certain that something was up and we weren't being told. After the

> weekend I started phoning and insisting we were informed of the

real

> picture. a week later the specialist saw us and confirmed that a

> malignant flat tumour had been discovered, surgery would be

> necessary as would a CT scan and a Barium Enema. Metasteses were

not

> seen on the CT but a further lesion on the opposite side of the

> colon was found during the barium XRay. That is the picture as far

> as we know and staging will not be done until after the surgery,

> taking place on Wednesday this week. Although we are remaining as

> positive as we can about the prognosis I am really dreading his

time

> in hospital and the operation itself, fearing for his well being

> through this as well. There are times when one's nursing

experiences

> do backfire! We have young adolescent children and I am trying to

> keep as practical and realistic with them about it all. I find it

> quite tough going though. It feels good to say this in a place

where

> people KNOW just exactly what I mean. Loving friends and family

are

> great but they too have their own feelings and fears to deal with

in

> relation to my husband so I don't feel I can be completely free to

> say things.

>

> This is getting to be a very long post I am afraid so I'll draw it

> to a close now. I'll just ask for your prayers for him this week

and

> if any of you can speak about helping children at this time then I

> would love to hear.

>

> Thank you all for being here,

> Warmest,

> Fran

>

>

>

> ---------------------------------

> Yahoo! Music Unlimited - Access over 1 million songs. Try it free.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Ingrid, Thank you for the welcome. This seems to be a very active

group so I think I might find it difficult to keep up with all the

posts. Some of the things discussed here seem quite specialised but

I am glad that there is this forum for sharing ideas for coping

whether this is with the emotional, psychological or physical

aspects of cancer.

I appreciate your prayers,

Fran

> >

> > Hello Everyone,

> >

> > I have read quite a lot of posts here in the last week and have

> felt

> > oddly reassured by your presence. Thank you for being so open

about

> > your experiences and thoughts, it is helping me as my husband

and I

> > make our first tentative steps in the world of cancer. He was

only

> > diagnosed a few weeks back but it seems like a lifetime.

> > He had bowel habit changes early in the summer but apart form

> saying

> > he needed to go to the toilet more frequently didn't give me the

> > details. He has tended to have a rather sensitive bowel

throughout

> > life so it didn't seem so strange at first. It went on all

summer

> > and I finally told him to give me ALL the gory details,

following

> > which I insisted he see the doctor. To be honest we were

thinking

> in

> > terms of something like diverticulitis rather than tumours as he

> was

> > only 46yrs old. Within a week he was having a sigmoidoscopy and

we

> > were told he had a polyp. We came away feeling like we had not

been

> > given bad news but nevertheless very perturbed by the gloominess

of

> > the doctor and the nurse. We were offered a cup of tea and in a

UK

> > hospital this means you must have had a shock and need tea to

ease

> > this.

> >

> > As an ex-nurse I wound myself up in the next 24 hours absolutely

> > certain that something was up and we weren't being told. After

the

> > weekend I started phoning and insisting we were informed of the

> real

> > picture. a week later the specialist saw us and confirmed that a

> > malignant flat tumour had been discovered, surgery would be

> > necessary as would a CT scan and a Barium Enema. Metasteses were

> not

> > seen on the CT but a further lesion on the opposite side of the

> > colon was found during the barium XRay. That is the picture as

far

> > as we know and staging will not be done until after the surgery,

> > taking place on Wednesday this week. Although we are remaining

as

> > positive as we can about the prognosis I am really dreading his

> time

> > in hospital and the operation itself, fearing for his well being

> > through this as well. There are times when one's nursing

> experiences

> > do backfire! We have young adolescent children and I am trying

to

> > keep as practical and realistic with them about it all. I find

it

> > quite tough going though. It feels good to say this in a place

> where

> > people KNOW just exactly what I mean. Loving friends and family

are

> > great but they too have their own feelings and fears to deal

with

> in

> > relation to my husband so I don't feel I can be completely free

to

> > say things.

> >

> > This is getting to be a very long post I am afraid so I'll draw

it

> > to a close now. I'll just ask for your prayers for him this week

> and

> > if any of you can speak about helping children at this time then

I

> > would love to hear.

> >

> > Thank you all for being here,

> > Warmest,

> > Fran

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Hi, Fran. Sorry your husband has to be hospitalized, but surgery is the best

thing to cut out that ugly cc. You and your kids may be worried, but God is with

him. Be strong. You will beat this thing together. My prayers for you and

husband and kids. Write back when you can and tell us he's doing better. Take

care.

~Deb from KS

seamist32000 wrote:

Hi Deb,

Thank you for this suggestion. I found the BACUP site when I was

first doing my research but it had slipped my mind. A lot seems to

be slipping my mind at the moment and I am being really forgetful

but I expect that is normal in the circumstances. I'll have a look

at the site over the next few days and read those sections; they

sound really useful.

I wish you and your husband all the best with his treatments.

Fran

> Hello Everyone,

>

> I have read quite a lot of posts here in the last week and have

felt

> oddly reassured by your presence. Thank you for being so open

about

> your experiences and thoughts, it is helping me as my husband and

I

> make our first tentative steps in the world of cancer. He was only

> diagnosed a few weeks back but it seems like a lifetime.

> He had bowel habit changes early in the summer but apart form

saying

> he needed to go to the toilet more frequently didn't give me the

> details. He has tended to have a rather sensitive bowel throughout

> life so it didn't seem so strange at first. It went on all summer

> and I finally told him to give me ALL the gory details, following

> which I insisted he see the doctor. To be honest we were thinking

in

> terms of something like diverticulitis rather than tumours as he

was

> only 46yrs old. Within a week he was having a sigmoidoscopy and we

> were told he had a polyp. We came away feeling like we had not

been

> given bad news but nevertheless very perturbed by the gloominess

of

> the doctor and the nurse. We were offered a cup of tea and in a

UK

> hospital this means you must have had a shock and need tea to ease

> this.

>

> As an ex-nurse I wound myself up in the next 24 hours absolutely

> certain that something was up and we weren't being told. After the

> weekend I started phoning and insisting we were informed of the

real

> picture. a week later the specialist saw us and confirmed that a

> malignant flat tumour had been discovered, surgery would be

> necessary as would a CT scan and a Barium Enema. Metasteses were

not

> seen on the CT but a further lesion on the opposite side of the

> colon was found during the barium XRay. That is the picture as far

> as we know and staging will not be done until after the surgery,

> taking place on Wednesday this week. Although we are remaining as

> positive as we can about the prognosis I am really dreading his

time

> in hospital and the operation itself, fearing for his well being

> through this as well. There are times when one's nursing

experiences

> do backfire! We have young adolescent children and I am trying to

> keep as practical and realistic with them about it all. I find it

> quite tough going though. It feels good to say this in a place

where

> people KNOW just exactly what I mean. Loving friends and family

are

> great but they too have their own feelings and fears to deal with

in

> relation to my husband so I don't feel I can be completely free to

> say things.

>

> This is getting to be a very long post I am afraid so I'll draw it

> to a close now. I'll just ask for your prayers for him this week

and

> if any of you can speak about helping children at this time then I

> would love to hear.

>

> Thank you all for being here,

> Warmest,

> Fran

---------------------------------

Yahoo! Music Unlimited - Access over 1 million songs. Try it free.

[Guest guest]

Hello Fran,

I found the book below very useful & practical in addressing

children's needs. It is also reassuring and uplifting, hard to

believe in the beginning I know.

Best wishes to you and your husband.

Leyla from Istanbul

Amazon.com: When a Parent Has Cancer : A Guide to Caring for Your

Children: Books

by S. Harpham.

www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ tg/detail/-/0060740817?v=glance - 84k

>

> Hello Everyone,

>

> I have read quite a lot of posts here in the last week and have

felt

> oddly reassured by your presence. Thank you for being so open

about

> your experiences and thoughts, it is helping me as my husband and

I

> make our first tentative steps in the world of cancer. He was only

> diagnosed a few weeks back but it seems like a lifetime.

> He had bowel habit changes early in the summer but apart form

saying

> he needed to go to the toilet more frequently didn't give me the

> details. He has tended to have a rather sensitive bowel throughout

> life so it didn't seem so strange at first. It went on all summer

> and I finally told him to give me ALL the gory details, following

> which I insisted he see the doctor. To be honest we were thinking

in

> terms of something like diverticulitis rather than tumours as he

was

> only 46yrs old. Within a week he was having a sigmoidoscopy and we

> were told he had a polyp. We came away feeling like we had not

been

> given bad news but nevertheless very perturbed by the gloominess

of

> the doctor and the nurse. We were offered a cup of tea and in a

UK

> hospital this means you must have had a shock and need tea to ease

> this.

>

> As an ex-nurse I wound myself up in the next 24 hours absolutely

> certain that something was up and we weren't being told. After the

> weekend I started phoning and insisting we were informed of the

real

> picture. a week later the specialist saw us and confirmed that a

> malignant flat tumour had been discovered, surgery would be

> necessary as would a CT scan and a Barium Enema. Metasteses were

not

> seen on the CT but a further lesion on the opposite side of the

> colon was found during the barium XRay. That is the picture as far

> as we know and staging will not be done until after the surgery,

> taking place on Wednesday this week. Although we are remaining as

> positive as we can about the prognosis I am really dreading his

time

> in hospital and the operation itself, fearing for his well being

> through this as well. There are times when one's nursing

experiences

> do backfire! We have young adolescent children and I am trying to

> keep as practical and realistic with them about it all. I find it

> quite tough going though. It feels good to say this in a place

where

> people KNOW just exactly what I mean. Loving friends and family

are

> great but they too have their own feelings and fears to deal with

in

> relation to my husband so I don't feel I can be completely free to

> say things.

>

> This is getting to be a very long post I am afraid so I'll draw it

> to a close now. I'll just ask for your prayers for him this week

and

> if any of you can speak about helping children at this time then I

> would love to hear.

>

> Thank you all for being here,

> Warmest,

> Fran

>

[Guest guest]

> >

> > Hello Everyone,

> >

> > I have read quite a lot of posts here in the last week and have

> felt

> > oddly reassured by your presence. Thank you for being so open

> about

> > your experiences and thoughts, it is helping me as my husband

and

> I

> > make our first tentative steps in the world of cancer. He was

only

> > diagnosed a few weeks back but it seems like a lifetime.

> > He had bowel habit changes early in the summer but apart form

> saying

> > he needed to go to the toilet more frequently didn't give me the

> > details. He has tended to have a rather sensitive bowel

throughout

> > life so it didn't seem so strange at first. It went on all

summer

> > and I finally told him to give me ALL the gory details,

following

> > which I insisted he see the doctor. To be honest we were

thinking

> in

> > terms of something like diverticulitis rather than tumours as he

> was

> > only 46yrs old. Within a week he was having a sigmoidoscopy and

we

> > were told he had a polyp. We came away feeling like we had not

> been

> > given bad news but nevertheless very perturbed by the gloominess

> of

> > the doctor and the nurse. We were offered a cup of tea and in a

> UK

> > hospital this means you must have had a shock and need tea to

ease

> > this.

> >

> > As an ex-nurse I wound myself up in the next 24 hours absolutely

> > certain that something was up and we weren't being told. After

the

> > weekend I started phoning and insisting we were informed of the

> real

> > picture. a week later the specialist saw us and confirmed that a

> > malignant flat tumour had been discovered, surgery would be

> > necessary as would a CT scan and a Barium Enema. Metasteses were

> not

> > seen on the CT but a further lesion on the opposite side of the

> > colon was found during the barium XRay. That is the picture as

far

> > as we know and staging will not be done until after the surgery,

> > taking place on Wednesday this week. Although we are remaining

as

> > positive as we can about the prognosis I am really dreading his

> time

> > in hospital and the operation itself, fearing for his well being

> > through this as well. There are times when one's nursing

> experiences

> > do backfire! We have young adolescent children and I am trying

to

> > keep as practical and realistic with them about it all. I find

it

> > quite tough going though. It feels good to say this in a place

> where

> > people KNOW just exactly what I mean. Loving friends and family

> are

> > great but they too have their own feelings and fears to deal

with

> in

> > relation to my husband so I don't feel I can be completely free

to

> > say things.

> >

> > This is getting to be a very long post I am afraid so I'll draw

it

> > to a close now. I'll just ask for your prayers for him this week

> and

> > if any of you can speak about helping children at this time then

I

> > would love to hear.

> >

> > Thank you all for being here,

> > Warmest,

> > Fran

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Hi to all, I am a stage 4 colon cancer survivor-Will be celebrating 1 yr free

Oct 30 this yr. I, too. am a nurse and yes Fran it can be hard, knowing the

medical information that we know. If I can be of assistance, don't hesitate to

ask me any questions. I went through a colon resection, liver resection (as

mine had metastasized to my liver), radiation, and chemo. I was diagnosed in

Nov. 03 at 32 yrs old. By the grace of God I am cancer free.Sometimes I don't

check computer everyday, so if you have questions and don't get a response right

away be patient, I will respond. Best Wishes for a successful surgery and

speedy recovery for your husband.

Sincerely,

AveriRN@...

[Guest guest]

Wow, nice to hear some positive news, it keeps us all going.

Thanks for sharing ~~ donna

AveriRN@... wrote:

Hi to all, I am a stage 4 colon cancer survivor-Will be celebrating 1 yr free

Oct 30 this yr. I, too. am a nurse and yes Fran it can be hard, knowing the

medical information that we know. If I can be of assistance, don't hesitate to

ask me any questions. I went through a colon resection, liver resection (as

mine had metastasized to my liver), radiation, and chemo. I was diagnosed in

Nov. 03 at 32 yrs old. By the grace of God I am cancer free.Sometimes I don't

check computer everyday, so if you have questions and don't get a response right

away be patient, I will respond. Best Wishes for a successful surgery and

speedy recovery for your husband.

Sincerely,

AveriRN@...

[Guest guest]

Averi, Thank You for your cancer history. It is always good to hear

of NED. It is inspiration for all of us here. Hope you are feeling

GREAT!!! Ingrid

>

> Hi to all, I am a stage 4 colon cancer survivor-Will be celebrating

1 yr free

> Oct 30 this yr. I, too. am a nurse and yes Fran it can be hard,

knowing the

> medical information that we know. If I can be of assistance, don't

hesitate to

> ask me any questions. I went through a colon resection, liver

resection (as

> mine had metastasized to my liver), radiation, and chemo. I was

diagnosed in

> Nov. 03 at 32 yrs old. By the grace of God I am cancer

free.Sometimes I don't

> check computer everyday, so if you have questions and don't get a

response right

> away be patient, I will respond. Best Wishes for a successful

surgery and

> speedy recovery for your husband.

> Sincerely,

> AveriRN@A...

>

>

>